When I’m not well I feel like I need to live alone as not to burden anyone the increased pressure to be productive in a relationship when you can’t makes me more stressed and anxious keeping me in a circle of being unwell.
So I get you .
May I ask what your wife wants because if you say you only moving a few houses down sounds like your fight and flight system is getting triggered and all you can see is how to stop the anxiety and feeling like your letting her down.
When I’m like you I just wish everyone apart from my kids would just forget me so I can recover in peace without having the extra burden of being a wife/ friend etc…
But what scares me is actually the reality is we have lost our normal lives and can’t except it so we hate ourselves so much that being in the same house forces you to have someone witness your failed normal life.
I have no answer to these feelings because I experience them repeatedly all I think is you arnt going far and chances that all the stress of moving to realise you still hate being ill and you still will see them when they come in to see you regardless so what’s the point unless your wife is sick of you then it’s her decision if she’s pissed off with you really.