On behalf of the MS community, MS Reporter Robby asks Dr Rachel Davies
“Do I tell my partner they may become my carer?”
Dr Rachel Davies Well, I mean part of that is what we’ve already said, it’s about honesty. But I think there is, it depends what you mean by carer, because of course partners will do caring things and supportive and helpful things for the person with MS, but also there’s lots of other caring tasks that other people can do. And I think if you can have a conversation about what tasks you might be happy for your partner to do and what things you’d prefer somebody else to do. So, you know, a lot of people we work with have identified other people who can do some things for them, and that might be professional people or it might be other friends and family, and then other things that their partner does. But you can only kind of work out which tasks you want help with and who you want to help you, again, if you have that honest communication with your partner. So, I would say, work out what you mean by being a carer and then your partner could say about the things that they’re happy to do and maybe the things that they’re worried about doing.
MS Reporter: Robby
Expert: Dr Rachel Davies is a counsellor and Senior Practice Consultant at relationship support charity, Relate. Find out more about Relate’s services here: www.relate.org.uk.
– Discuss what tasks you’d be happy for your partner to do to help you
– Discuss what tasks you’d like external help with
– Be honest with your partner and work out what being a carer means
– Your partner needs to express what they’re happy to help with
– Address the issues rather than protecting your partner by keeping quiet
– Address what may happen in the future but enjoy today.