I haven’t posted here before but I’m feeling really rubbish at the moment and just wanna offload………
I was diagnosed a year ago, but I had had an event a year and a half before that where I couldn’t walk for awhile and was diagnosed with clinical isolated syndrome…….something like that.
I started university in September because after being diagnosed I wanted to make sure I gave my dreams the best shot I could in the times that I am well. Both relapses were pretty bad and took awhile to recover from but both times I returned to pretty much my normal self.
I’ve found starting uni harder than I imagined. I have aches and pains in my feet. Noise irritates me and I’m easily distracted; I’m so tired after all the walking around and learning and the train commute (an hour each way) that when I get home I fall asleep and I’m not getting much study done. Today I have had my first absence because I just couldn’t face the train commute I feel so stressed and tired.
I don’t feel supported by the uni at all…….but it is early days so it might get better.
Everyday I am worrying ‘what will happen if I have a relapse?’ And I’m scared this will all end as, despite these problems, I really wanna do this course. I’m wondering if I’m stupid for thinking I can do uni with MS.
I still don’t know where to turn to with this sort of stuff. I feel like I’m whining every time I bring up MS problems. I don’t know what I’m looking for………..advice, empathy, understanding.
I’m just having one of those days where I don’t know if I can do this.
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