Last reply 3 months ago
understanding ms

i try explaining to my friends why i can’t go out and why i’m so tired but they don’t understand they just think i’m lazy. it bothers me and i’m not really sure how to explain how i feel to them. the only person that really understands is my mum and dad. can anyone give me advice? thanks 🙂

Add categories

Browse categories and add by clicking on them

You can remove current categories below by clicking the ‘x’.


jonas1272
3 months ago

The way i would look at it is if they are real friends they will understand, if they dont then you dont need them as friends 🙂 Sounds harsh but with MS it takes a certain kind of understanding from people. Stay positive your real friends etc will be there for you 🙂


jeslyn_mauriello
3 months ago

People that love and care for you will find a way to understand what you are dealing with. I agree with @jonas127… your real friends will be there for you.


fxms
3 months ago

Have you seriously talked to them about MS? Sometimes you need to remind them of what MS symptoms feel like, since most of them are invisible.

Since my diagnosis, I suffer from “paranoia” of what could happen to me in social situations. It’s a mixture of social anxiety, mild depression and MS-related paranoia. I am giving myself time to process it all… trying to trust in the ‘flow of life’.

Best of luck! 🙂


nutshell88
3 months ago

Personally sonce zi felt how you’re feeling because of MS. I stopped my friends visits
I didnt say no i just stopped years ago but i go on social occasions
No one in my life knows about MS but my parents i dont want anyone to know
Its its 14 years with it


stumbler
3 months ago

@abbie_dale , there’s abrochure from the MS Trust here, which offers advice about telling people:-

https://support.mstrust.org.uk/file/store-pdfs/Telling-people-WEB.pdf


manc1
3 months ago

many years ago someone told me about the spoon theory.
hope it helps.


stumbler
3 months ago

Here’s a link to the Spoons Theory as mentioned by @manc1 above :-

https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/


niteowl
3 months ago

I have to admit I am struggling with this fatigue it just floors me mid afternoon and I sleep for 2-3 hours, I used to be so active and now I have no energy at all.
Seem to get up do a few things then crash, I keep pushing myself but then I pay for it.
I have kept things quiet apart from close family and a couple of close friends no-one knows what’s going on


stumbler
3 months ago

@niteowl , we have to work within our limits. You’ll soon start to understand your limits and then you’ll find the balance.


miller
3 months ago

It took all my friends and myself a while to understand what i can do and cant do anymore


brando
3 months ago

most people have already said it, the only way for people to treat you well is to explain to them your situation. Unfortunately humans are creatures of habit which I always hate to admit.

Most of the time people without even thinking about it, just wont realise what’s it like and cant put themselves in your shoes. admittedly it is quite hard because MS is an invisible illness, most people with MS will try to carry themselves as normal as possible not saying this is a bad thing. But because of this people automatically think you’re fine and have nothing going on we pick up on body language more than we realise haha.

give your friends the explanation and if they don’t support you, maybe its time to think about meeting and making some new friends.


caleb
3 months ago

personally, i find people dont really understand it until they feel it. ive been with my wife 5 years, and for a long time she thought many of my symptoms were excuses. im too tired. i dont remember. etc.. wasnt until a few months ago that either one of us found out i had m.s. and its finally coming to light. your parents see what you go through so theyll understand better than your friends. its a tricky one. you know them best, all you can do is break it down on a level that hits home for them personally to make them understand whst youre feeling

Join Shift.ms to reply to this post.

Become part of the community so you can chat, compare and learn from other MSers.