Last reply 6 months ago
This isn’t my place.

Today I’m wondering why am I even on this. People aren’t really nice only fake nice same people always answer your messages. You signup for things and then get told you don’t qualify because of where you live. People leave you a message saying they understand you and that you can message them then they never answer. Well shift Ms you got my hopes up for nothing. All I feel is judge when I write something. Well I guess this isn’t the place for me so I wish everyone good luck.

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stumbler
6 months ago

@dominiqueg , I find your comments a wee bit unfair.

In the 3 months you have been with the forum, you have raised 10 topics. Each of these topics have received at least one response.

One topic in particular, regarding your loneliness, gained 11 responses from well-meaning people.

You refer to your message being left and not answered. This was when you enquired about the Buddy Network initiative. Something with is only in pilot mode at the present time.

This is the only time that you feel you have been ignored.

Loneliness is caused when offers of friendship are repelled rather than embraced…………


Anonymous
6 months ago

@stumbler I never said that people didn’t answer my topics I said that people say you can message me and when you do they leave you high and dry. This being the private message system.

I also said always the same people answer the topics.

Yeah well it would be nice to tell people it’s in pilot mode and so that they don’t wait around for nothing.

I guess before answering anything you should read what the person wrote and not assume what they tried to say just to make everyone believe this is great place.


Anonymous
6 months ago

This is also the sencond time I’ve said this place makes me feel more alone then included in a community.


stumbler
6 months ago

@dominiqueg , I think your comments will surprise the majority of members here on Shift.

I witness a lot of transient members, who find us when they are struggling with a diagnosis/possibility of MS. This is a worrying time for anyone and we are here to provide some comfort and reassurance whilst they transition from shock to acceptance. Once acceptance is achieved, they have no further use of the forum and get on with their life.

This is very acceptable behaviour as the forum met its purpose.

Other members are here for the long term, to continue to help other members.

Adopting an aggressive approach will alienate you. Although, as with Catman3rd, we will still offer the hand of friendship.


Anonymous
6 months ago

Wow so I’m the negative one but you’re the one bashing someone. I guess you pick and choose who you help and everyone else can go to hell be ause they are being a little negative. Well I guess you get what you want I’ll be deleting my account. Have fun not helping people and making them feel like everything is their fault.


Anonymous
6 months ago

@stumbler I forgot to tag you so you know I was talking about you.


Anonymous
6 months ago

@stumbler I guess you didn’t read my other topics because this was the first negative one. Maybe you’re here not to help but to feel like you are doing something good when you’re just judging people


bullman
6 months ago

Hi

A bit harsh but each to their own. I hope you can find what suits you.


lilbird
6 months ago

Oh dear ☹ keep your chin up @stumbler, you can only try your best xx

You have to remember dominique that a lot of us work too so do not have the time or energy levels to reply to posts.

I for one do a lot of ‘surfing’ the forum but don’t necessarily reply to everything. As I type i’m doing this from work so being ‘naughty’ really.

Remember time differences too……..when you start up we’re ahead of you and 6? hours more knackered!!


fingersandtoes
6 months ago

I don’t stop here very often – I mostly interact on Twitter. But if you PM me I’m happy to give you my email which you can contact me on any time.

I haven’t read your other posts sorry (like I said, not here often). I’m newly diagnosed RRMS. Coping well enough though I have my moments!


rachaellouise
6 months ago

@anonymous

I see your frustrated and angry but you can’t force people that’s not how you make friends unfortunately .
You have to be a friend to gain friends not get mad at people because they haven’t replied to you. It seems like you want instant replies.
Also as many have said they have other things going on in their lives so can’t always reply .
You seem too demanding which puts people off .. trying to guilt trip people like @stumbler it’s not right.
Stumbler replies to more messages than anyone else so to try to make him feel bad well it shows your expectations are just to high. People aren’t their to run around after only you unfortunately …..


yuma
6 months ago

hey anon, I’m sorry you’re not feeling supported. I hope you can give the forum another chance – I’ve found that one of the best things when you’re feeling low about your MS is to just be able to speak to other MS pals with it, and this site has always been the best I’ve found


vixen
6 months ago

Hello @anonymous. I’m sorry you haven’t gotten out of Shift what you were hoping for. In my own case, Shift is pretty much the most helpful tool I have found to help me come to terms with diagnosis. Everyone is different, yes that’s true. If you have a read through the ‘About Us’ section in the top left it is very clear about mission and philosophy of the site. It doesn’t promise anything and really seeks to be a forum for sharing and exchanging information. In my xperience of this site I think @stumbler is the least judgemental/bashing person here, given the complexities of some of the issues and queries people post that he helps with. I hope you can find peace for yourself and that you continue to use the site and find a way to benefit from it.


kitty369
6 months ago

Stumbler is one of be nicer and most response people on here, leave him alone and please feel free to leave if u don’t like it. Many of us find this forum really useful and supportive.


novemberrain
6 months ago

I’m not here to reply to @anonymous I’m more upset by the negativity towards @stumbler who is clearly the backbone of Shift and deserves respect for the advice and help he offers each of us. I also commend all the other folk who have replied to this post with caring and positive attitudes. Big up!


marcyg921
6 months ago

Obviously if there’s is something bothering you @anonymous with shift then message an admin. We are all there for each other through this difficult time but at the same time we have to live our own lives and you attacking @stumbler, someone who’s just trying to help not just you but pretty much everyone else on this site, just says to me that you are the one spreading negativity which isn’t what we need especially on this site. I hope you do find acceptance in your condition because once you do, life certainly gets alot better.


mermaidia11
6 months ago

… All provocative very points in different ways …. good to see that everyone has responded to @anonymous….

@dominique – you clearly haven’t read all of the posts Here, otherwise you would realise that @stumbler is our rock and keeps us all together.
He single handedly keeps this whole site connected, and does this because he cares and he has empathy. He doesn’t even get paid, ✨(although I think he should do – just sayin Mr Pepper)✨👍😍🌍👏
Also wanted to say – Having MS is emotionally and intellectually draining. Sometimes, people have relapses or infections, or adverse reactions to drugs, so they aren’t well enough to compose an email, or simply don’t want to talk.. finding the time in between rest, exercise and essential commitments, can be very challenging – the weeks roll into months. So Try not to take it personally .
I have met and had messages some absolutely wonderful, incredible, inspirational brave and courageous individuals here. However, as those weeks have rolled into months, I find myself realising that I have not responded to a message. (You know who you are, apols)
It annoys me and I annoy myself!! never mind the people who assume that I can’t be bothered. I now don’t message as much, one because I don’t want to be an inconsistent friend.
And two because the MS makes me angry and frustrated,so sometimes I say the wrong thing and come across very negatively, I do find it harder to sustain relationships, Internet or otherwise-because of this.
But here, we are understood, and we all know to give each other a break and not take it personally – or publicly have a go.
But it is possible. I have made a wonderful friend on the Isle of White who has been invaluable to me over the last few months. We don’t speak via email, message or telephone call. We use WhatsApp to voice message each other. This has Made the whole process of keeping in touch so much easier. I would recommend this as a way to make valuable connections. .
(There are always pluses to this I am MS malarkey)
So – Voice messaging made the whole process of keeping in touch so much easier, and strangely less taxing and more friendly. It’s easier to be misunderstood on email. I would recommend this as a way to make valuable connections. (Sending all my love to my lovely Tinkerbell friend on the Isle of White [email protected] – a stellar girl and a Stellar friend). As you all are There are always pluses to this MS malarkey!ie you meet ace people who wouldn’t have crossed your path normally….)

You know, I have a sneaking suspicion that you are in the angry phase of having MS. We all understand this amigo.
Let’s start again (and apologies to all, and thanks being there)
Let’s spread the love on shift and forgive ourselves and each other, when the anger gets the better of us
Love lite to everyone✨💖🧞‍♂️🌈

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