I’m not even sure why I’m posting this but am hoping it’ll be cathartic!
I am currently diagnosed with CIS (multiple lesions in both brain and spine) and am waiting for my neurologist appointment on 21 June with results of latest MRIs and lumber puncture.
Until today, I thought I was doing ok emotionally about the whole thing and the wait for my results. People keep telling me how strong I’ve been and how well I look (I admit the latter gets a bit wearing when I don’t think I’ve felt like myself since early January this year).
What triggered my emotions today? Bizarrely a smear test (sorry fellas). I am not a fan (though they are essential and I have to have one every 12 months) but have never been emotional or even physically bothered by it, but today was really horrible.
My legs were uncomfortable and it really hurt. I came home feeling nauseous and emotional. I keep having tears and my hip and leg are now burning and tingly. I actually feel pretty pathetic and sorry for myself. I’m going with it though it feels like wallowing, which I don’t want to do.
What strikes me today is a need to prepare myself for things that I previously took for granted as ok. Things aren’t ok at the moment. I think I need to cut myself a break and have a blub (however weird it feels). I’m going with the flow.
Is this something anyone else has experienced over something that wasn’t an issue before. This sounds dramatic but I almost feel almost like I did when I lost my mum and dad. 😪 I don’t know where this has come from today.
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