Last reply 1 year ago
People say stupid things!


So I had been doing really well recently, but 6 weeks ago someone said something that literally broke me. A girl at work (who suffers with anxiety) was talking about her own trouble then came out with “I look at you and I wonder how you get up in the morning” It was not too bad at the time but she got inside my head and I ended up having a complete emotional meltdown and cut my hair off. In that moment I just hated myself and the thought that this is what everyone was thinking got to me. I have been a bit fragile and tearful since. But it has just occurred to me people are always going to ignorant to what people with MS go through. She has no idea what goes on with me, just cause I choose to not suffer out loud in public doesn’t mean there isn’t stuff going on. I guess people are always going to say stupid things and i guess this is just another battle we have to deal with.

So I guess I just wanted to thank everyone on shift for being here!

My new positive saying is”Unicorns and Rainbows”

Avril x

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1 year ago

If it makes you feel any better my ex husband said something similar recently!! He was my husband for 13 years and we divorced 6 years ago!! I have friends who also say some what stupid things as well!! I look fine, I put on a brave face, I tell the world I’m fine… I’m not…but that’s why I check in here…no one else could possibly understand…quite often I think I’m faking because it does not make sense. ps, I love unicorns…but I’m going to marry Lego Batman!! 😀 ❤

1 year ago

@avrilt sounds to me like she was having a bad day and trying to bring someone who she knows has MS and is better looking then her down and make them feel as bad as she does. Don’t let people like that win. You have ms yes but it don’t mean your life is over. Just keep in your head every time you see her 1 I’m better looking then you. 2 I have it better then you.

She’s clearly letting her anxiety get the better of her.

Your a good looking lass and you don’t need to let people like that win. If she keeps doing stuff that upsets you only speak to her when you have to. If she didn’t work at the same place I would have said cut her out of your life. Stress is obviously not good for people with ms I know that as good as anyone been I’m autistic and have ms just try to speak with this woman less. You don’t need the stress in your life.

1 year ago

You’re an MS warrior, @avrilt . You carry this huge burden with you 24/7 yet no-one can see what you go through.

There will always be people who forget to engage their brain before opening their mouth. Let it go over your head, as you are so much stronger than them.

1 year ago

Hey guys – thank you! It just feels nice saying this out loud and even better people understand. It was a bit of a crazy thing to do and maybe it’s the kind of thing I shouldn’t tell people I did but I thought if I share it might help others. I mean someone else could be feeling the same way and it’s always good to know you are not alone with these feelings.

@naomih – your ex sounds like a nightmare! Sounds like you are better off without him. Now you are free to marry lego batman! My superhero crush is Captain America (watch this space lol)

@daniel2025 that’s very sweet of you! On a good note she is off sick just now so I don’t have to deal with her. Hopefully by the time she is back I will be much stronger and she won’t be able to get me down. That must be hard for you to deal with on top of MS. I have accepted your friend request.

@stumbler yes it is definitely a burden to carry and rough when people don’t understand. That’s why Shift is so important. But your right MSWarriorPrincess lol

1 year ago

Agree with all the above. Just to add that these horrible moments do make you stronger in the long term. You get to know/have a sense of what is going to upset you and you become adept at either avoiding the people or walking away from the situation. IMO, this is a real skill which we MSers can develop almost without realising it. I’ve become a more private person since MS, which means I’m not as open and sociable as I was, but strangely I feel more in control of things than I can ever remember.xx

1 year ago

Thanks @cameron

Yeah I think I could do with being a bit more private, I probably let people in too easy. Good to know it gets better in the long run

1 year ago

HI avrilt, I just wanted to tell you that 3 years ago I had a similar meltdown and cut off my hair which was down to my waist at the time. I am not diagnosed with MS but going through the process, I can relate to everything you said.

A hug from me to you x

1 year ago

Hey @avrilt, people do indeed say the stupidist things, don’t they? I might let this one off as she sounds a bit broken and her words are more likely the result of a mental health issue than malicious intent. Revel in your new kick-ass hair cut (isn’t amazing when you get out of the shower and your head is so light!).

Keep the rainbow bright and your unicorn sharpened 😉

1 year ago

Thanks @katbee for the much needed hug! It’s good to know I not the only looney in the bin lol I kept my hair in a bag for a while but (weird I know) but I’ve binned it now – time to move on as they say! I hope you are ok and if you need a friendly ear about the diagnosis process just drop me a message.

@imbarca yeah I am not holding a grudge or anything, I don’t stay cross for long. I was more cross at myself. I love the “keep the rainbow bright and the unicorn sharpened” !

1 year ago

Cheers Avril, amid all the trauma at the time I managed to donate my hair and It is almost back to the same length as it was before.

Thanks for the ear, I’m up for friendly chat too, getting involved with “ologists” is enough to send anyone daft lol.

I live near Cumbernauld btw, not that far. My cousin who has MS is from Glenrothes, she says there is no help at all where she is.

1 year ago

Hi @avrilt! Just don’t pay attention to those stupid words, people say very silly things. Someone I know asked me if I was going to be a cripple (!)…. I guess the person wanted to know if I would end up in a wheelchair. It was a ridiculous way of asking, just like that one you’ve heard at work.
I always laugh at them and say they know nothing about this and, in case they are really interested, then read first, before making ignorant questions. It works cause nobody likes to be seen as ignorant!

You hair will grow again and you are a brave girl, coping with this condition. They have no idea.
Keep your ”Unicorns and Rainbows” – I liked it!

Big hug ((((( )))))

1 year ago

Super huge hugs @avrilt

I cannot believe someone actually said that to you. People will say stupid things but you know what strikes me, is that you are the determined fighter who gets up every day and sticks 2 fingers up at MS, which is much better than not facing it. Like you say, people don’t realise what you are going through but maybe one day they might and you’ll be an inspiration to them.

Keep positive with the ‘Unicorns and Rainbows’


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