Last reply 1 year ago
One of those days I guess :(

I’ve recently split up with my boyfriend of 4&1/2 years.. he wasn’t supportive of my new diagnose of rrms and it was time to do something for me. However, I am finding myself almost in a state of depression and lately I’ve been feeling that I’m very alone/lonely with no one to talk to 🙁 my friends have there own lives and I don’t want to bother them nor do they really ever ask.. 🙁 I’m not sure what I’m even expecting from writing this.. but thanks for listening whoever you are ❤️

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1 year ago

I’m so sorry to hear your news @nikitadawndelorey
As you know, because you gave me support and advice when I started rebif, I’m new to this but know that a diagnosis is tough on relationships. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to grieve for your relationship.
Come on here anytime for support as there’s usually someone along with words or wisdom.
Take care.

1 year ago

@nikitadawndelorey , MS is pretty efficient at locating any weak cracks in a relationship. In this respect, it may have done you a favour.

MS can be isolating, but only if we allow that.

As @smurf69 says, give yourself time to grieve. Pamper yourself as you are important.

Then, when you’re ready, pick yourself up, dust yourself down and start all over again………. 😉

1 year ago

Hi @nikitadawndelorey,

I’m sorry to hear you are feeling so low at the moment, it’s a horrible place to be when you feel completely alone and can’t see that feeling ever going away, from experience though, it does go away. Eventually! You just have to be strong and push on through it! Do you work? Where abouts do you live? Why not see if there are any meet-ups you can attend? Some people find speaking to others who have this condition helpful. How about volunteering somewhere to help meet new people?

P.S, your boyfriend sounds like a complete idiot. Sounds like you are best off out of that relationship! And if you were strong enough to stand up and do something for you, and end that relationship then you are strong enough to push on through this time in your life and come out the other side stronger than ever! (With better friends hopefully!) make it happen, put yourself out there! Xxx

1 year ago

Break ups can be rough whatever else is going on. You WILL feel better in time but do reach out, here, and to your friends. They probably don’t realise how crappy you feeling right now and I bet you’d be there for them. Take care x

1 year ago

Good riddance, it can get tough when you have a mate that is supportive. It is hard for your mate to walk in your shoes you need one who is at least willing to try. I feel sorry for my husband and get mad at him at the same time. I keep it to myself because I know he is really trying to be supportive. Potter

@nikitadawndelorey Just a quick thought that it could be that your friends do care but dont know how to discuss things. Until my wife was diagnosed I simply had no idea about MS or even what people might be struggling with, however I do believe I would have wanted to know more. Its one thing to unload everything on your friends all at once, but its another to have a real conversation with how you are doing.

Our experience so far in sharing our diagnosis so far with a few people other then super close friends and family, was that they in turn opened up about treatments and issues they were struggling with (cancer, trouble having kids, etc). It has been good to connect with people at a more real level then we have in the past. Its still a bit hard to share with people our struggles, but so far its actually been a positive experience different then we expected. I am not sure everything will be like that, but it might be worth while testing the waters with some of your friends and family.

1 year ago

I’m sorry your S.O. wasn’t supportive. Please feel free to message if you ever need an ear. I’m still kind of navigating this stuff myself, but I’m happy to be there for you.

1 year ago

Being a Yorkshireman I tend to say it as it is so I apologise in advance….. 😂

There unfortunately are a load of selfish massive bell ends out there who genuinely only give a flyer about there selfseseseses. My advice is don’t waste anytime sobbing over a t’hasshoyal and get thee Sen straight back out there it was not right or it still would be, you have youth on yer side and you have to sort the wheat from the chaff. that mr right might be just round the corner and your crying over a titanic tosspot.

Hope this helps a little I toned it down a bit chin up lass 👍 ✌️

1 year ago

I’m sorry to hear that you are having a hard time right now. It’s too bad that your partner wasn’t more supportive after 4.5 years of being together, but I would say its better to find that out now then to find it out later when you really need his help and support.

Like @gates1989 said, it would be great to find out if there are any people in your area that you can get together with?
And if not, this forum has been a great way to meet and talk to other people who do understand what you are going through!!

Sometimes the hard times in life lead us to great things!! Hang in there!!

We are all here rooting for you!

1 year ago

So sorry your partner was not supportive but take heart. I split from the boyfriend as was with not long after I was diagnosed as I discovered he was cheating. I went on to meet and marry my soulmate and have been married now for 19 years. If someone loves you they won’t care about the MS so hold out for that cos you’re worth it.

telling friends can be hard but they will probably surprise you with how supportive they are do give them the benefit of the doubt and confide in them. If you need folks who understand the frustrations then remember you have all of us.

1 year ago

I know that feeling all too well. My relationship split after freaking 8 years. Ya, 8. When we were younger, she adjusted well with my conditions. But I guess, as you grow older, your feelings and needs from life changes. Thing is, I was heartbroken for months together. But I realized, it’s OK to be angry. Let all the emotions play out. We’re only human, after all. If it didn’t work out, look at it from a different perspective. It just meant he wasn’t the one for you. His loss. And your gain, I.e. You got your answer that he isn’t going to stand by you. Just spend lots of time with family and friends, enjoy yourself. You’ll forget about it in no time 🙂

Thank you all for your kind words.. it means a lot to know that there are people there to talk to and confide in 🙂 it’s hard but it will get better with time (or so I’m told lol) I live in Nova Scotia, Canada.. there’s not many support groups or anything here. It’s sad really 🙁

1 year ago

I had a toxic relationship which made me so stressed and I am so happy to be away from it now. It’s really important to keep positive people around you. Since my diagnosis in December I’ve lost a lot of friends who I thought were my close friends, but they weren’t. And actually the real ones have really come to light. Concentrate on those positive friendships as they can be very nurturing when you’re struggling with all of this. I think that MS has made me even more sensitive and paranoid about other people and not wanting to be a burden to them so I totally understand how you feel. I think that you’ll find people are more than happy to hear from you and probably don’t realise you need the support from them. People are so busy, and sometimes I feel that they don’t notice what’s going on around them as much as they should, I have been guilty of this and for sure.

This damn illness is so up and down. Keep talking to people, your real friends will stick around and be there for you xxx

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