jamie8042 03/01/15
Last reply 3 years ago
Marathon Running

Hi

I.have a story to tell please bear with me.

Around May I met a girl who took my breath away she is amazing in so many ways and we fell in love. Fast Forward to December and the girl I met decided that due to her MS she feels she needs a break for tue relationships she has felt really bad and just been wanting to sleep. She explained that although she thinks Iam amazing and treated her right she needs some me time.

My girl was diagnosed with RRMS in march of last year.

I was really quite upset by it. So I decided that I need to do something for her. I can’t help with the MS directly, If I was able toake her pain go away believe me o would! So I have decided that on the 30th of May this year I will raise money for MS society by running the Edinburgh marathon.

I love my girl soo much and want to do what I can.

I would like some advice or general chat from people with MS to give me an understanding of the condition and how I can support my girl going forward. Ifoyu would like to help with fundraising I do have a Web site and txt number to donate toward my challenge

Thanks and love

Jamie

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stumbler
3 years ago

@jamie8042 , you’re doing your best for her, by finding out about this condition so you can try and understand what she’s having to deal with.

The following topic describes all the symptoms that we may have in a way which is more understandable :-
https://shift.ms/topic/describing-your-ms-symptoms/

The other thing, is that we have to try to accept our diagnosis, which will allow us to move on.

The journey from diagnosis to acceptance is a rollercoaster ride which passes through some defined emotional phases:-

1. Shock and Denial
2. Pain and Guilt
3. Anger and Bargaining
4. Depression, reflection, loneliness
5. The upward turn
6. Reconstruction and working through
7. Acceptance and hope.

It’s not a direct ride either, as we can double-back on ourselves. But the journey can take a year or more.

It’s not unusual for us to feel sorry for ourselves, asking our partner to leave us.

Understand her situation. She is looking forward to the future and not seeing a clear vision. Just be there for her when she needs you, but also allow her to have her space, while she sorts out all these emotions.

It’s very commendable that you have joined here on her behalf. Please do ask any questions that come to mind.

The MS Trust produces a set of publications which cover all aspects of MS. You may find these useful :- http://www.mstrust.org.uk/publications/publications-for-people-with-ms.jsp

Be careful of consulting “Doctor Google” and stick to creditable information sources, e.g. the MS Society and the MS Trust. 😉


jamie8042
3 years ago

thanks for the response to my question

i really want to understand and help her as best i can

i went on to another forum, it was mentioned that i should walk away from her etc

i cant walk away i lover her too much

jamie

text LHJC99 (amount £1,£2,£3 etc) to 70070 this will donate to MS society and also support my marathon challenge

go to Justgiving.com/RUN4LH


stumbler
3 years ago

@jamie8042 , if the relationship is strong enough, then it can withstand major issues like this.

Be careful of websites, which can make decisions for you. You just need the facts to enable you to make the decision which is right for you.

I was diagnosed back around 1997. I asked my wife to leave me, which is a common situation when going through the feeling sorry for yourself phase. She didn’t and we’re still managing fine now.


reddivine
3 years ago

Stick by her jamie and tho she may want some “me” time now, she will see you are serious about her.
Sometimes when we have a chronic illness we fool ourselves that no-one will love us, cuz hey I don’t even like myself!
Your doing the right thing learning about MS to help her as life progresses.
And there are loads people on here who are PARTNERS of folks with MS.

Shaun Ryan is one (hubby of TaraRo)
http://www.mssociety.org.uk/about-us/ms-awards/awards-2014/winners#carer
Named Carer of the Year in 2014, I mention him cuz he would probably be worth chatting to


eta
3 years ago

Jamie,

I am a 41-year old woman with MS and I went through pushing my partner away, but despite manic depression and variously “looping out” we are still together and I give thanks that we are. My first consultant Dr ****** told me to keep our intimacy and it was the best advice. I only hope he gets to see this message because I have moved since.

**NOTE** Name removed to respect privacy. Admin. 😉


sunnydaylover
3 years ago

wow @stumbler, you got that right, from diagnosis through to acceptance…spot on. I was diagnosed in June last year, and this last week, I have most definitely turned a corner and although its still there, its not ‘consuming’ me…

Doing the marathon, what brilliant support for your girlfriend. I would say read about the disease, and listen to your girlfriend, love her and be there for her and tell her all the time what she means to you, how beautiful she is as she will be feeling very low, unattractive, all the negatives come to the fore, and its hard to fight them. Taking the time to be on here shows you are a caring guy x

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