boodle06 16/07/12
Last reply 5 years ago
Is it wrong or not?

Cause I’ve been seeing various doctors throughout all of this so far I have heard so many different opinions that have scared the he’ll out of me. I don’t know if they were wrong to have said what they said to me or just being honest, but the being honest view is what is terrifying me. I went to see one for work purposes who was an occupational health doctor, when I mentioned I’m scared that I won’t be able to have children or won’t be brave enough to he said to me I can see your point because what would you do if your child was crying in the middle of the night and you couldnt help them because your legs were paralysed? Is that wrong of him or not I don’t know, I’m meant to believe the doctor aren’t I?
Then another one when I asked him for his view on ms he said to me it is very variable you could end up in a wheelchair within 12 months… Was that wrong or him just being honest?
My neurologist said ms isn’t horrendous that he has 600 patients on his books with ms and most people do fine for about 25 years.
You may get the jist of not having any support from health professionals and why I’m terrified.
What do you think of what I’ve been told, was it right or wrong, are they living in the dark ages or just being brutal and honest with me.

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loulou
5 years ago

Too damn right that first Doc said the wrong thing, can I ask how long youv’e had MS? many people function as normal but it’s just a bit harder with a few obstacles in the way , you should get on with your life as best you can and just deal with problems if and when they come, your Neuro seemed to have the best advice!, none of us know whats round the corner, so you go for it, live life as you would!!! xxx


boodle06
5 years ago

Thanks loulou, their words keep going round & round in my head. I’m not officially diagnosed yet, had attack that disabled my right hand in November also speech was not right. Various symptoms since so it’s on the cards, no treatment yet just wait & see situation. My docs written to neuro again as I’m not happy waiting for a potential attack when I’ve had my speech issue return & a few other symptoms.


artisus
5 years ago

Jeez, it sounds like BOTH those fellows were rough! Your neuro has the right idea, though the 25 years statistic seems rather trivial, I’ve never encountered a number like that. I’ve met quite a few older ladies (in the 70s and older) with MS, one is in a wheelchair after breaking a hip and another uses a cane for bad knee arthritis. None of them have been held back by MS. Severe cases of MS can happen, but @loulou has the right idea: handle each day as it comes and keep in mind that you’ll still be able to live a long, rich life with as many or as few obstacles as MS gives you!

(We all need to be reminded of this now and again.)


stumbler
5 years ago

In life, there’s always a worst case scenario. That is, we won’t survive till the end of the day.
But, that’s just it, there is always a worst case scenario, but the odds of it happening are pretty damned slim. Otherwise, we’d all have made our funeral arrangements!!
We don’t need to know our worst case scenario, because it would be complete guesswork by most of the Doctors/Neuros. This condition doesn’t have a recognised course, so don’t try and determine your future.
Live your life. Yes, it may not be quite as you planned, but just accommodate this nuisance and follow your dreams.


cameron
5 years ago

The first rule of medicine is ‘do no harm’ and these two obviously did: you were worse off after speaking to them! Listen to the neuro and when you’ve got a diagnosis, get support from an MS nurse and the MS team.


Anonymous
5 years ago

Bad news is bad news however you say it, so please do not blame your Medical Staff. The problem with MS is it can be as unique as the person who has it. There are no hard and fast rules. Sure, some symptoms will be the same, but in general, everyone will react and deal differently to them.


funnybank
5 years ago

i’m shocked by the OH doctor as the point in OH is helping people lead normal lives despite their adversity. it probably hasn’t occurred to them that even if you had progressed to a situation where you cannot walk then your partner would be able to go to the baby and sort out the problem or bring the baby to you so you can sort it out from bed. pre diagnosis is incredibly stressful, the doctor should not have jumped to conclusions on your behalf.
i would consider finding out who manages the the OH doctor and suggest that they have some communication training. i think there is a difference between blaming your doctor for bad news and receiving a service fit for purpose. i am guilty of spending far too long allowing midwives, doctors and even gp receptionists to make poor decisions on my behalf. it’s empowering to realise you are working along side the health professionals in determining your care and i’ve found that you get a lot more respect if you take charge of the situation. it’s very hard to do this when you are in a vulnerable position.


rachela
5 years ago

Stumbler said it all for me. (Brilliantly put by the way!)

There’s a quote I’m clinging on to at the moment…

“MS. It’s just two words. Not a sentence.”

There is no reason to think that you won’t continue to live a happy, full life even with a diagnosis of MS. It’s terrifying to think about the ‘what ifs’ but as Stumbler has said, we could spend our whole lives worrying even WITHOUT a diagnosis.

I know it’s easier said that done but try to ignore the sh!te that some people come out with. They certainly shouldn’t be putting their own fear and negativity on to you.

There are so many great people on this site for you to talk to. We’re all here for you, for each other.

One day at a time, right?

xxx


zoom
5 years ago

@stumbler, are you seriously emplying no one has made funeral arrangements!? Shock Horror, you’ve not decided what type earn you would like to reside in (mine is an aladin lamp), the music at the service, seriously you’re leaving that to others (e.g. a Slash guitar riff), a will that makes sure the one who gets your collection of funny print boxers will wear them well……


stumbler
5 years ago

@zoom, I can’t get that worked up about my funeral. I won’t actually be there, so I’ll let the living decide what level of comfort (or celebration!) they want from the proceedings ! 🙂


zoom
5 years ago

The thought of someone playing michael bolton at my funeral is enough to bring me back from the dead to take them with me 😉 you should’ve figured by now I’m all about the cheap laughs… my coping mechanism I suspect……

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