Last reply 1 month ago
Housing

Hi everyone I’m in need of some impartial advice, I’m currently in a 2bed end terraced private let I’ve been pressing on with the council over the past couple of months (getting support letters etc) because a few months ago my landlord told me they’ll be needing to sell the house I’m in plus I have have two daughters one who is asd diagnosed as well as myself with ms so I really need a three bed so both my daughters get the space they need as it’s quite stressful on them both, I received a letter yesterday stating they have offered my a 3 bed four in a block ground floor in a village close by, i drove up yesterday to have a good look through the windows and it looks great, new kitchen, wet room doesn’t need a lot done to it, only problem is my ex husband who I share my oldest daughter with lives just two doors down from the new house, my mum seems dead against it saying it’s close for comfort plus it’s a bit out the way if I need help in case of relapse, she and I understand it’s my decision and I’ve thought all this anyway but I feel like I’m not in the position to pass it up as they’ve put down my needs and offered me one that they think is ideal, I have a good relationship with my ex and he’s a great dad to my daughter which might be bonus having him close by for her, im just so confused I just want a place I’m settled with no uncertainty of moving again, what do you guys think?

Add categories

Browse categories and add by clicking on them

You can remove current categories below by clicking the ‘x’.


grandma
2 months ago

Hi @chezn87 I have to say, go for it. For a start, its ground floor obviating the possible need for a lift in the future, you will have enough space for all of you, you get on with your ex, don’t worry about distance with relapses in mind, think positive, if some stress is removed, which it obviously will be if you’re in your own home on the ground floor the chance of relapse is reduced anyway. You can’t live your life worrying about how you will cope in a relapse situation, that’s not the way to go about it🥊😜


stumbler
2 months ago

@chezn87 , I’m with @grandma. Go for it.

It gets you out of a stressful situation into something which is more suited to your needs, now and for the future. Your ex can also give you the “low-down” on the area………


jane_watts
2 months ago

@chezn87

Hello I would suggest that you have been offered, it seems good house it’s on ground level it might be a little bit out of the way but my my idea on this is moving house alone is extremely stressful if there’s still some work to be done the council will do that no I don’t live over there anymore but I was offered a job with the council I didn’t accept but I know how the council works over here in republic of Ireland it’s a bit like when you have a job and you’re not happy in it you gain another job when you’re already in a job now it can be kind of the same thing with council you can be offered and take the house and if you know it’s all good for you & your daughters, however they will if necessary step in again if distance is an issue, or health issues, and help they won’t tell you this information but that is usually how it works I worked for the council over here for quite some time and I was under engineering, but I was managing an office whereby if tenants had issues we would step in with repairs there was two families that because again of health issues only it was one was this son that had health issues and the other family it was a daughter they were given an option of three different locations that would work better for them now they were already living in council houses that they had been allocated. I think it’s wonderful that your ex-husband is near very helpful and I can understand your concerns of distance and going into a new area even if it’s close to where you have originally been living in my opinion and it’s only my opinion I would take the opportunity of this dwelling because it means your children are secure and your secure then you need to search for what help there is available around you as there is a great amount of help over there around you know for people that suffer MS it has to be entirely your decision and I understand that and all I have done is giving you my opinion it is actually what I would do if I was walking in your shoes put it that way. Please try not to stress because it’s not going to do you or the girls any favours.
Not to sound negative you can put boundaries in place so your ex isn’t living out of your ear. I know it sounds terrible my saying, there are for some people boundaries have actually been very beneficial. Besides you and your ex get on well as individuals that has to be admired and yeah there’s a huge advantage in his being close proximity to your daughter. I wish you the very best of luck whatever you decide and I wish your daughter’s the absolute best of luck to let us all know here and shift how you go on and I do understand this is a big decision but please do not stress.
💜


chezn87
2 months ago

Thank you so much everyone I really appreciate all your advice and opinions, I think the main issue my mum put across was that I won’t be in the town anymore but the village is a 5 min straight road to town so it’s really not that far plus I have a car so there’s no issue, also the council are stating ground floor accommodation as they feel my health might change in future which is true, with the wet room and the girls having their own rooms plus just the security of having a secure perminant tenancy I think it’s a no brainier I know my mum will be a bit worried but ground floor accommodation in the town is usually in undesirable areas so I would hate to turn this down and regret it, it’s made me feel better talking to you all about it there’s only a couple of cons but lots of pros!


strictlysoca
2 months ago

Hi

One of the deciding factors is that if it’s suitable and you turn it down then the Local Authority could decide that they have met their responsibilities under the Act.

If it ticks most boxes take it. Best thing is it’s going to give you huge peace of mind knowing you are there for life at a reasonable rent and no one can move you. I can say that aside from being lucky with the neighbours mine has been a wonderful liberating from full time work life changer.

Good luck


edmontonalberta
2 months ago

@chezn87

Your life therefore your decision. However you wrote “I think it’s a no brainier”.

That was my thought from reading your initial post. Good luck & enjoy.


vixen
2 months ago

Hello @chez87, I think it sounds perfect. Most importantly, you yourself are into it and that’s what matters! Actually, it’s nice to hear a positive story about the council moving into gear quickly, so it looks like the stars are aligning in your favour! Don’t forget to invite us to a virtual moving-in party! X


vixen
2 months ago

Sorry, @chezn87


chezn87
2 months ago

Thanks so much I’m going to view the property on Wednesday so I’m keeping my fingers crossed it all goes ok 🤗


grandma
2 months ago

🤞


chezn87
1 month ago

Hi everyone just a little update, went and viewed the house on Wednesday I really liked it, everything has been upgraded, new wetroom, heating system, kitchen, windows so I accepted and get the keys on Monday afternoon, so excited now just stressing about the clearing out and packing up the old house but I know that’s just short term stress and it’ll be worth it in the end. My mum had still been a bit funny about it all but she’ll get there in the end 🤗


highlander
1 month ago

@chezn87
Good for you!!!
When’s the moving in party?
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉


stumbler
1 month ago

@chezn87 , well, that’s one major headache resolved.

Packing (and unpacking) will be a piece of cake in comparison.


grandma
1 month ago

Great news🤞🎉🥂


chezn87
1 month ago

Definitely @stumbler it’ll be worth it in the [email protected] will need to sort that out when I’m settled but will be on the cards 🥂🏡💃
Thank you @grandma I’m lucky I have a boyfriend that is a painter and decorator by trade so he’s got his work cut out lol 😆


jane_watts
1 month ago

chezn87

Congratulations absolutely delighted for you & your girls 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉


chezn87
1 month ago

Thank everyone I wish more of my family would share the same happy thoughts and positivity as you all do, spent last night in tears my mum called and asked me if I’m still going to sign and get the keys today which I pick up at 2, she said it wasn’t a good idea and starting pinning all the bad points to moving there and that she has a bad feeling about me moving there, my sister and even one of my friends has raised their concerns, I honestly don’t know why their being so against it I’m so upset and questioning whether they’re all right and I’m making a big mistake, I know I’m not and I’m thinking of all the good points to moving, even my boyfriend said it’s a great move even though I’m living a short distance from my ex husband, has such a good day yesterday picking out wallpaper and and paint then I get this, I just wish I had better support 😢


jane_watts
1 month ago

@chezn87

Well done you are going to be absolutely ecstatic with this move. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth you have been allocated a perfect home for both yourself and your children luck was on your side go for it you’re very lucky to be awarded this property it security for you and your family and although we don’t know each other please don’t let anybody else show their negativity it’s wrong with them they should be absolutely delighted for you as we all here in shift so please don’t let anybody burst your bubble of happiness people regardless of who they are or what relation are supreme at knocking something that’s really really positive. You have a great day enjoy the time of collecting the keys to your home your little piece of Independence and be happy, smile, laugh, don’t worry everything will turn out fine you deserve this you more than deserve this happy days you’ll be happy too.

Hugs have a wonderful move.
😊💜


grandma
1 month ago

We’re all behind you @chezn87, we’ve stated our reasons, we’ve given our opinions, you know how you feel, people who don’t have ms never really understand as we do, as Jane says don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Have a wonderful day🎉👏🥂❣️


grandma
1 month ago

Have you moved in yet?


strictlysoca
1 month ago

Most people don’t get that you can’t just rock up and be offered a house just because you have MS. Just like many think we all get mobility allowance and a “free car”. Also most people don’t like change. Having lived in some really so called bad areas in London – it’s different when you actually live there rather than read about it.

You’ve been offered one that ticks most boxes and your gut is telling you to go for it. Sending you positive vibes for a smooth move and settling in.

Join Shift.ms to reply to this post.

Become part of the community so you can chat, compare and learn from other MSers.