Last reply 5 years ago
Have a laugh on me

“I caught my twelve-year-old son looking up women’s skirts today,” I told the barman after my second whiskey.

“That’s pretty normal for a twelve-year-old, isn’t it?” he asked.

“Not on eBay it isn’t!” I said.

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pottypete
5 years ago

I heard the Queen’s got diarrhoea

Nobody will have seen royal skidmarks as bad as this since that tunnel in Paris.


pottypete
5 years ago

Paddy pulls up at a red light beside a gorgeous young woman, smiles at her and lowers his window.

The woman smiles back and also lowers her window.

“Ah,” says Paddy, “so you farted too?”


pottypete
5 years ago

Brian from accounts passed me this morning as I was going to work, he must have been doing at least 100mph.

Mind you, he did jump from the thirty-second floor.


pottypete
5 years ago

I went to see my Doctor today.

“Doc, whenever I have sex my penis hurts”

“Can you tell me how you have sex?” he replied.

“Sure, but your Dad probably should have had this talk with you”.


pottypete
5 years ago

It cost me thirty grand when my wife was kidnapped.

Hell of a party though.


pottypete
5 years ago

I got into a black taxi in Birmingham last weekend and told the driver that I was going to London.

He said, “That’s going to be about £400.” which I thought was quite reasonable, until I saw a sign in the back saying ‘I Will Charge You £60 If You’re Sick In The Back!’

So I shoved my fingers down my throat.


pottypete
5 years ago

After years of calling for the destruction of Britain and compulsory Islam for Europe, radical cleric Abu Qatada was arrested today and remanded in custody.

A spokesman for the Crown Prosecution Service said, ‘He went too far this time. His wheelie bin was over-full and the lid wouldn’t close.’


pottypete
5 years ago

My wife and I view sex differently.

For instance, I view it on the Internet.


pottypete
5 years ago

I was watching Crufts on TV, but the missus turned over to ‘Take me out’ when I went for a piss….

It took me 20 minutes before I noticed.


pottypete
5 years ago

I walked into a hotel last night and said to the receptionist. “How much is it for a night?”

“£120, sir.”

I said, “Nice one, I’m in room 221.”


pottypete
5 years ago

After we had sex, she walked funny for a week.

That’s how hard she was laughing.


cazzzzzy
5 years ago

Lol! Cool 🙂 xxx


jamms
5 years ago

me laughing Pete %( )

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