4 years ago
Feeling very low today

I’m not really sure why, but I’m feeling incredibly low at the moment. I’ve been working from home since my return to work (I previously travelled UK wide and was only based from my home office only one or two days a week) and I’m finding it incredibly isolating. I am grateful to have a job as I know that others are not so fortunate but I’m wondering if the home-working is why I am feeling so low. Perhaps it’s due to realisation that I’m not the same as I was pre-relapse/diagnosis. I’ve suffered with depression on and off for approx. 10 years now. I’m taking Sertraline 100mg a day and have been for a few months now, so it’s probably unlikely to be a recurrence of clinical depression…

What do you guys do on days like this? I just keep crying 🙁

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I haven’t worked for 6½ years. I don’t miss all the office politics and the bulls**t, but I do miss the social interaction.
Having MS can isolate you, especially when you start working from home full time.
Combine that situation with the current weather and everything can start to get too……big!
OK, you’re having a tearful day and you’re feeling a bit sorry for yourself. We all have days like that, unfortunately. But, we need to make those days the exception.
Tomorrow will be a better day. See if you can get yourself out and find someone to have a chat with. It’ll make you feel a member of the human race again.
Or, failing that, have a chat with us.
I must admit though, you’re not looking well. You’re still looking a bit Mini-Cooper-ish! 😆

Ha ha. And here was me thinking that purple suited me. I’m not feeling brave enough to put my real picture up. I’d hate for my employer to come across this site and have an insight into how I’m really feeling. My boss doesn’t ‘get it’, and why would she if she doesn’t have MS.

My feelings today were compounded by a call with my boss, where we were discussing options for my role going forward, and a call with my Mum who could offer me no words of comfort really. She quite often doesn’t know what to say. I asked her if she’d like to go to the shops with me after work but she doesn’t want to. She has her own struggles with mental health, and I’m guessing that is what’s keeping her from coming out.

You’re right though, tomorrow is another day.

It’s strange, isn’t it? We seem to be walking along this emotional tightrope and it only takes one or two things to really throw us off.
So, we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start all over again…(sing along if you like!)

Hi! I also work at home sometimes and it can be depressing to be in the same room or space all day without seeing anybody. What has worked for me is to go outside and work in coffee shops or libraries. You will discover that there are many people that actually work the same way and we can all work together in public spaces. My favorite “office” is the British Library, if you get tires of working you can go around the exhibtions! Playing your favorite music while working is also a good boost!!

Don’t rule out changing anti-depressants, either. There could be a ‘chemical’ element of your low mood. Worth a chat with the GP if it doesn’t resolve. xxx

If I lived in London, I’d come and join you at the British Library @teddy. Sounds great! I’ll give the coffee shop thing a go. Good idea. @cameron I’ll keep an eye on it. Hopefully another change of antidepressants is not warranted. I always feel horrendous during the first few weeks of SSRIs. Thanks for your kind words chums. N-night, xxx

So a little update – my mood that day appeared to be a blip, thankfully. Have felt so much more positive since then. I went swimming during one of my lunchbreaks last week with some friends who don’t have the 9-5 working pattern. It was great.

It can be scary though, knowing that you have a history of mental health issues, and all of a sudden crying uncontrollably with no one specific trigger. I’m so glad it was just a blip. Maybe we all cry out of the blue sometimes, due to this pest we know as MS?….

we all have blips. My best friend suffers with PTSD and she had a ‘blip’ yesterday but she also suffers with flashbacks. yes, we are laugh a minute together. Dont feel bad about it, these things happen, if you need to cry, cry, you cant help how you feel or what you are going through xx

Oh and i’m actually on 2 antidepressants for various things but one was foe feeling this way too so perhaps you need a change

Ur post has given me hope, I am feeling low today and keep thinking of my ms and how sorry I feel for myself but after reading all ur posts maybe I will feel better tomorrow and today is just my blip day xxx

I too today am feeling low.. A girl at work was talking about how her mother’s friend has MS and how she looked so beautiful at her wedding years ago but now couldn’t even recognize her and is in a wheel chair, and her husband takes care of her. And it just makes me scared that that is what can happen to me. I was just diagnosed 4 months ago and am 24, engaged, and scared for what the future has in store for me. And if I will just be a burden to the people around me down the road. My fiance is great, has been by my side the whole time and just the last week asked me to marry him, but it’s just always something in the back of my mind, if I will just be a burden to him. Of course I am optimistic that I won’t get to that point of being in a wheel chair, but you just never know.

Awww congratulations on your engagement @mbennett. I’m 29, got engaged at Christmas, and was diagnosed 4 months ago too, so we have a few things in common 🙂 Try not to worry too much about the future. Think of it this way, if something happened to your fiancé, would you be there for him? I’m guessing the answer would be yes, and I’m sure he’d be there for you too. We can’t know what the future will hold but that is true for non-MS-ers too. Throw yourself into wedding planning to distract yourself from MS – that’s what I’ve been doing and it’s great. So exciting.

Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself. And live for now. All very clichéd sounding, but true.

@strawberrygirl, how did you feel today? I hope it was a better day 🙂 I’m glad the post filled you with hope.

P.s. ignore people who tell you about severely disabled people who they know with MS. So bloody insensitive! The treatments on offer these days means that the generation of patients being diagnosed these days have a much brighter future.

Great comments here! Hope you’re cheering up a it. @mbennett This website is so positive and everyone here is doing their damnedest to stay upright and mobile….but sadly, I don’t think that’s necessarily true of everyone with MS. I think some people give up at the point of dx and, as my physio says, sleepwalk into disability because they won’t try and take control of their condition. I’d like to think that this is the old-fashioned attitude to MS and that’s maybe the mindset of the person talking to you about wheelchairs etc. The MS community now seems much more assertive, impatient and highly vocal – which is GREAT!

Hi feeling inspired by this thread. I to get down, gp putting it mainly down to postnatal depression, which I do agree with to a point. But like alot of us ms’ers had a year from hell, diagnosed, relapses my dad who had ms passing. I have had mixed responses from work, my boss cuddled and said I’m so sorry I was shocked at the reaction, we are nurses so expected something different. Family not told my mum yet, doing it tomorrow can’t put it off. My mother in law keeps saying to get disabled badge – I’m not disabled, she also has two friends from church who were in wheelchairs but their ms is now cured. I bit my lip alot in this situation and gently remind her there is no cure at present. Anyway sorry rant over. Feeling bit stressed re telling my mum. Jo xx

jojo75 – you have a lot – too much – going on. No-one in our shoes can be expected to cope with everything all the time. But isn’t it odd that you can often do the big brave things but it’s the little irritations (like the comment about the disabled badge) that can really irk. I remember being told ‘You ought to get one… why ever don’t you get one… quite ridiculous that you don’t have one… I’m sure life would be easier etc etc’. I refused. Cut off my nose to spite my face, I realise, but I didn’t like being told how I was supposed to be feeling and supposed to be doing. Particularly by people who didn’t have MS. Five years later, when I retired, I did get a badge but that was me deciding (my ‘mentors’ having given up on me long since!). Take your time about the decisions you make – things will come right, but probably not all at once!

Hey Cameron thanks for your comment really nice to know we are not alone!

Hey there jojo75 – I hope every thing goes well with your mum – I can imagine that’s a tough one to face. I was fortunate in that mine had driven me to the appointment that resulted in my (then merely suggested) DX so I didn’t really have much choice but to blurt it out. Easier that way I guess.

Good luck with everything…

Mark 🙂

Hi all aardvaak thanks for your comments. As ever everyone has been really supportive. I told my mum yesterday, my sister was there which helped lighten the mood. She didn’t cry or get upset while I was there so feel quite positive and have now told all family. Phew!

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