Does anyone else feel trapped inside their heads….
I have so many random thoughts that I know my family don’t understand. There’s no point trying to explain how it feels to have MS. I know I’m lucky that at the moment I’m able bodied and symptom free. I have recovered fully from all my relapses (thank god) BUT… the not knowing when another one could come or what it will be makes me feel trapped! It mentally restricts every move, every decision I make. It’s like dying without dying…I’m stuck in my head a prisoner.
I want to go to an aerobics class BUT how do I know if I’ve over done it before a relapse comes and tells me!? I want to go away but now I panic incase i get too hot and relapse and I’m stuck there and ruined everyone’s holiday (it’s happened). What if I can’t get home? What if I can’t walk?
I want to go out with my friends and dance and get drunk be careless just once but I don’t I stop myself and stay in.
I want to do so much but I’m scared!! The fear of the unknown stops me everytime.
Sorry to ramble on but does anyone have any coping mechanisms? Does anyone have the same feelings?
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