I am looking for advice and clarity as my head is not clear about this.
Basically, I was made redundant just before diagnosis and I was finding things pretty difficult. I also had Saturday job working at my local Veterinary surgery (this is my passion). I kept going for over a year post diagnosis but eventually in April this year I just couldn’t keep going. This was frustrating because it was for half a day once a week and I thought I would be able to manage at least that. I have more than likely had MS for far longer than my diagnosis date would indicate so may be I was expecting too much?
Anyway, this week I received an email from the Manager asking me if my health would allow me to go in one Saturday per month. My heart says yes but my head says, no. Emotionally, making the break was so so so hard and to go back only to have to give it up again would be heartbreaking. It is a very physical job which for fitness would be good and bad (fatigue) and cognitively it would be better to get out and have to interact with clients and colleagues.
I keep thinking, it is only once a month! In the Managers second email she then said do one a month and see how you go, this made my heart sink a little because may be they are hoping for more eventually and I know this is not possible now.
This is my absolute passion but surely I should be listening to my body as I did back in April and work on leaving the past me to the past (I am finding this difficult).
Any words of wisdom and advice would be very appreciated.
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