Last reply 4 years ago
Do I go back?

Hello everyone,

I am looking for advice and clarity as my head is not clear about this.

Basically, I was made redundant just before diagnosis and I was finding things pretty difficult. I also had Saturday job working at my local Veterinary surgery (this is my passion). I kept going for over a year post diagnosis but eventually in April this year I just couldn’t keep going. This was frustrating because it was for half a day once a week and I thought I would be able to manage at least that. I have more than likely had MS for far longer than my diagnosis date would indicate so may be I was expecting too much?
Anyway, this week I received an email from the Manager asking me if my health would allow me to go in one Saturday per month. My heart says yes but my head says, no. Emotionally, making the break was so so so hard and to go back only to have to give it up again would be heartbreaking. It is a very physical job which for fitness would be good and bad (fatigue) and cognitively it would be better to get out and have to interact with clients and colleagues.

I keep thinking, it is only once a month! In the Managers second email she then said do one a month and see how you go, this made my heart sink a little because may be they are hoping for more eventually and I know this is not possible now.

This is my absolute passion but surely I should be listening to my body as I did back in April and work on leaving the past me to the past (I am finding this difficult).

Any words of wisdom and advice would be very appreciated.

Thank you
Sam xx

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stumbler
4 years ago

@samanthathompson , this is a difficult situation for you, I can tell.

You have a passion, a calling even, yet you also have the survival instinct that us MSers must learn.

But, we all need a purpose, a reason to get out of bed each day! And, we also need social interaction to confirm that we are still part of the human race and keep us working mentally.

Now, with MS, there’s a philosophy we can adopt, “Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best”. I’m just wondering whether this philosophy would work with this Vet’s position? If you could manage their expectations of you, to avoid too much physical activities, whilst having due regard for your fatigue, you may be able to find a way to make it work.

What do you think?


judy-gy
4 years ago

Gosh I so much want you to feel well enough to go back to your passion. Has your Niro recommend high dose vit d? If not maybe ask ms nurse / Sherlock….. I also take turmeric capsules as recommended here…… Ps I think your vet sounds wonderful. What about 2 half days a month?or just half days… I think the more they are expecting…. Is to see you….. jx


aussiekylie
4 years ago

I think your vet really valued you as an employee and knowing your limitations still wants you to return to work as little or often as you can. I think the vet may be open to discussing your concerns regarding the physical aspect of your job and your fatigue. They may well make these accomodations for you. You just have to be honest about your concerns. If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no. Good luck!


samanthathompson
4 years ago

Hello,

Thank you for all your thoughtful replies.

I think I have decided to stay gone. I have been thinking non stop about everything and in the 6.5 months since leaving, my anxiety levels have come right down, I used to get very anxious about making mistakes, falling down the stairs and there are a lot of them. I was finding restraining animals needing hospital care, i.e. assisting setting up an i.v. or bandaging more and more difficult. I worried that if my Vet gave me instructions, i would forget or interpret them wrong and we just don’t have the time to accommodate my needs, as a Saturday is very busy.

Your replies make me want to jump straight back in but I keep replaying the reasons and scenarios that lead me to leave after fighting so hard to stay. My Vet is great but he stays out of all these decisions, he doesn’t get involved. It is the Practice Manager that has asked me and she is great and I know she is offering this because she knows how much I am dedicated and miss it but I need to grieve the loss and let it go.

This is a real head over heart matter and not one of my strong points.

Sam xx

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