Last reply 2 months ago
Anxiety getting out of hand

I have just started a new job recently and the anxiety of going in each day is getting worse. It’s a promotion in a new facility but I now feel that I am not ready now (despite working towards it for over 3 years). My 2 deputy managers are also quite negative and I don’t feel this is helping with me properly settling in as all I can think is that they believe I’m not right for the job.

I’ve always been a nervous/anxious person but nothing on this level. Each time I’ve visited my MS nurse she has mentioned to bear in mind I’m more susceptible to depression/anxiety and I don’t know if because it’s being mentioned 3/4 times I’ve now got it in my head!

I have an appointment with my GP this week as i haven’t been able to eat properly or relax since starting. I keep telling myself I’m over-thinking and over-reacting about nothing but it is making me physically sick. I’ve downloaded a number of different apps that help with meditation and anxiety and it works for maybe an hour, but it soon comes back to me. It’s becoming a real struggle just to get by day to day and I’m dreading seeing people because I know they are going to ask about my new job!

Has anyone else experienced this and have any advice.

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3 months ago

@hen87 , you got this job because you’ve worked for it and you have the skills/capabilities to do it. That’s not me speculating, that’s your bosses who gave you the job.

But, it’s a change and we are human, so any change is uncomfortable. However, it’s like any new job, you need to learn the ropes, the characters and the general office “ambience”. This will come quickly over time.

Your two deputies may resent you at first as you got this position and they didn’t. You must build up their respect for you, by proving that you can do the job and will be heading a good team.

You’re not anxious, you’re not depressed, you’re apprehensive and that’s good.

Your bosses have faith in you and you won’t let them down. So, congratulations on your new position. 😊

3 months ago

@stumbler thanks.

Like I said it is a new place I am in so first I am meeting the deputies. At first glance it appeared they were just overworked (old manager left 4 weeks prior to me starting so they needed to work overtime) but I have quickly realised that there has been changes to the company that they were resisting prior to me starting.

My issue is that I need them more until I am settled in the role and I feel like they are resenting me and not wanting to help.

As I said I am quite an anxious person as it is, I expected nerves starting a new position in a new facility but this has been a couple of weeks and I am physically sick every day before having to go in and it doesn’t seem to be letting up 😢

3 months ago

@hen87 , you need to get your two deputies on-side. They need to understand that their battle is your battle and you’re all in it together.

Either singularly, or all together, you need to have a “clear the air” meeting. You need to ask them what the current problems are and, then, what they think the answers are. Possibly first thing in the morning, and you supply the donuts.

Get them involved, as you need them to cover the workload until you can settle in and make a difference.

Then, you can address them singularly, to understand their circumstances and their aspirations.

Hope this helps.

3 months ago


Helen – I either give the best advice or the worst advice since I am responding with less than 10% of the information… So I’ll take a stab at helping…

@stumbler gave good advice… Have a meeting with them; find out what their concerns are & how you are able to help them “do their job”. You are in charge; they are either with you or they are not; the sooner you find out, the better. They are not & never will be your friend; you just need a solid working relationship.

Plus never show any weakness; any challenges (i.e. MS) outside of work are just a fact – there is no discussion needed or sympathy required. If you show weakness, gossip spreads & the vultures circle for the kill. Remember that you are in charge; your Supervisors knew you had the ability – trust them then take charge!

Regarding the second part; your only response is “It’s a new job; ask me in six months”. Then change topic… 😉


2 months ago

So just to update. I visited my GP a couple of days ago who really took the time to listen to me and my worries. The more she asked about different things, the more things came through and she belives that it may have all started years ago, pre MS diagnosis. I am the kind of person who just works through things myself so she thinks this is just one thing too many that just set it all off!

Has given me a low does of citlopram to take the edge off but wants to see me again in 2 weeks to see how I’m getting on. She has also put me in touch with some local support groups that i can drop into so I am tryin to stay positive that it’s just a small blip

I’ve also spoken to my husband about some of the things i spoke about with the doctor and it is helping the two of us to address some of my issues/concerns together and make changes

2 months ago

@hen87 , it sounds like a very constructive appointment with your GP.

Let’s hope this gets you back on the up.

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