Last reply 1 year ago
Anger

I’ve noticed that I have a lot of anger a lot more then before my diagnosis. I just don’t really know how to deal with it so I suppress it but then I blow up at the smallest things.

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In general you have more negative feelings when you dont have the bandwidth to deal with things as well. Having MS has just used up some of your time and mental energy. In addition if you have a harder time with sleeping (impacted by anxiety) etc you are going to be not recovering as well. My wife finds that rest (including a nap) plus exercise and good diet all contribute to lower levels of stress. That increases her ability to deal with other things that come up. It seems normal that you would express your diagnosis in some way like anger, depression etc. Are there lifestyle changes you can make that will give you more space to process and release some of that? Being aware is a great first step to trying to improve things.


edmontonalberta
1 year ago

@dominiqueg

Our ability to deal with any challenge in life is greater with friends, family, coworkers, etc… When you “blow up”, you drive away anyone & everyone who may help you; not just the MS challenge but every challenge in life.

May I suggest you get some professional help to learn how to control your anger issues; seriously.


nutshell88
1 year ago

Yep I experienced this too specialy 2008 to early 2015.
It led me to do mental behaviours sometimes and about blowing up with anger thats so me.
But i am calm if something happened once twice triple times then forth time im uncontrollable with anger. ._. My tongue hurts ppl sometime so ashamed to say it but i never swear…


Anonymous
1 year ago

@edmontonalberta
I never said I blow up at people I’m just angry and I blow up I don’t push anybody away I’m just mad.


stumbler
1 year ago

Hi @dominiqueg and welcome.

Anger seems to be an unavoidable emotional phase that we have to navigate through post diagnosis on our journey through to acceptance. It’s part of the “why me?” phase.

We have to appreciate that MS may be our diagnosis and our condition, but it would still affect our nearest and dearest.

Be wary that you may get moody. And, if you feel the need to “blow up”, then try and isolate yourself. Come onto this forum and explain the source of your anger. You can shout and swear here if that defuses the situation.

We just understand why you’re doing it.

Then you can regain your composure, regain your smile and rejoin the family. 😉


tracyd
1 year ago

@dominiqueg

I think to a varying degree we all experience in one form or another.

It can be at ourselves, our body, our environment, our loved ones or just at everything.

How that anger manifests is a whole personal journey we get to take that doesn’t match anyone else’s either. Anger whether it is internalised or pushes out can be a destructive or positive thing. Finding the way to channel it I figure is also a deeply personal thing and not like anyone elses methods.

So in case it helps …. here’s my story, if it gives any signposts to help you find your way …

Post diagnosis, I found it was quite easy to be angry at MS – it was an unwelcome lodger in my body, the level of uncertainty it introduced to my project manager organised and regimented life was an unacceptable risk to Project ‘Live my life to the max and go out sliding on my arse with my hair on fire, drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other hope up, sit on the devils lap and say Hi I’m home Honey, what’s the WiFi key?’

It just wasn’t an acceptable Risk to my plan, nowhere in all my revisions of the plan was there a ‘and your body will turn on you like a rabid dog and start taking bites out of your ability to function and F*ck up you’ …….

I suddenly had no tolerance for others neglectful and self inflicted health ‘blip-ettes’ …. the stayed up late 7 days on the trot feel tired – run down / live on takeaway pre-prepared crap – pick up every bug going / Drink too much – constant hangover state / don’t get out in the fresh air – pick up every cold going …..

I call it my ‘F*ckwittery failure’

I just can’t tolerate moaning and self pity from people who feel a bit crappy but have brought it on themselves – and celebrated every moment of doing so on Facebook.

It manifests in me in an internalised anger, and I withdraw from the person in question – completely – I just stop. It doesn’t come out as external anger at anyone except my husband – I do yell at him and it can be about anything at all – life the world the lot of it – not just yelling at him for the sake of it or because he’s done something personally to be the object of my ire.

It’s a female thing I fear …… but I did tend to ‘stockpile my gripes’ …. rather than just getting it out there at the time, it did all tend to come out at once – it was an eruption rather than a continuous trickle which might have kept the pressure more even.

The one thing I found which helped even things out was to just talk honestly and openly about it all – I know this isn’t an option for many people.

It’s something I’ve learnt over many years for dealing with many situations, fear of things ‘coming out’ makes the little voice in my head into an absolute bastard. So I have no secrets, I don’t try to protect people any more from ‘me’ and in doing so it feels like I’ve taken my fears ‘power’ if that makes sense ? If there’s nothing to hide it has nowhere to hide either …..

I’m still an awful bitch sometimes, but I think that’s just the innate part of my nature sometimes coming to the front.

You have a friend request, if you need someone to talk to I’m happy to share contact details on PM xx


bensdad
1 year ago

Hi, I can understand you are angry, we all deal with things differently. I don’t have MS but I remember when my mother died I was angry. I didn’t realise it at the time but when I looked back and as the anger subsided I knew I had been angry. I think there is some grief involved in being diagnosed as well as a lot of sadness. It will take time. Don’t be to hard on yourself x


abhishiv90
1 year ago

Of course you’ll be angry. It’s understandable. When I learnt of all my minor limitations, all those years ago, I was ready to get into a fight at every turn. I was an angry young boy, sadly. But as the years progressed, I thought myself that the anger, tension and stress is only harming me. End of the day, it’s my legs, it’s my eyes. I need to take care of them cos no one else can do it for me 😅 take it easy. Look at the bigger picture of life and prioritize just how much attention you should be giving to something.

Remember, “Improvise. Adapt. Overcome”

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