oskar 01/06/15
Last reply 3 years ago
Advice

I have RRMS. I have been in a relationship for 10 years and which spanned my diagnosis (5 years either side). The relationship is now over, for reasons other than MS.
I am awaiting a decision regarding IHR and if successful, I will move to a village in Northumbria.
I will know nobody there, but I have no problem with this – I know few people in the metropolis, where I have worked for over 20 years – but I crave quiet.
I’m not terribly affected other than the usual….easily tired, heat related problems, limited walking distance (about 1/2 mile max.), loss of muscle tone and slowness in doing things.

I have been thinking about ‘dating’ sites, so my quandary is this:
1) I can list all the things I ‘used to do’, but no longer. Do I make this clear from the outset? i.e. I used to…” etc.
2) Do I just be up front about MS?
3) Do I act ‘normal’ until we meet?
Any advice gratefully appreciated.
Thanks

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graham100
3 years ago

My advice would be stay on you’re own till you need a carer. Lol. your supposed to avoid stress!!! Why try to find it. Haha.


katjay
3 years ago

Act normal until you meet . You are not MS you are YOU.Don’t talk about things you used to do , focus on the positive . Take things date by date .

I have psoriasis /arthritis and possible Ms (joy ). I’m now single and I will not be telling my next partner until I am comfortable with them . If they run a mile great , if they don’t great .

Everyone has problems at the end of the day . Some of your Ms problems will affect a relationship , some won’t . Your next partner may have their own issues . MS is (generally ) not fatal so I’d say go with the flow and don’t make Ms an issue . Talk about what you enjoy. Perhaps an overly sporty person etc . may not be ideal but people tend to play up things on dating websites anyway .

Good luck with it , enjoy 🙂


katjay
3 years ago

P.s I feel the key is not to reveal too much of yourself early on anyway . But if you got asked to do something you aren’t able to do because of Ms , then say.


oskar
3 years ago

Thanks katjay – I am something of a spontaneous person, in thought anyway, so under “stress” as I am now, waiting for IHR decision and hoping to move, I have “great” ideas then change my mind. Over the last 6 weeks I have been moving, staying, moving, staying etc. ad nauseum.
Thanks for your sensible advice, keeping me in line 😉


mcgibaqt
3 years ago

Don’t tell them until you know them, just like you wouldn’t tell someone you’re allergic to nuts or you have a phobia of deep water… It’s irrelevant. What’s relevant is your personality, your chemistry, the laughter, holding hands… Once you ‘know’ each other then that’s when you talk about personal things… But by that point they will love you so it won’t matter… And if it does they were never worth it in the first place. :o)

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