Thoughts - feel fry to ignore
I thought I’d share so maybe some can relate
I am grateful for my quick diagnosis
I am grateful for having access to Tysabri every month
I am grateful for MRI’s to know what’s going on in my brain and spine
I am grateful my hearing returns when it went away
I am grateful for my apartment that feels like home
I am grateful for my fiancé who is caring and loving
I am grateful for mental and physical therapy and for deciding to pursue both.
I am grateful for my sister who deeply cares
I am grateful for being able to relax sometimes
I am grateful for not being in pain
I am grateful for my kind eye doctor who is going out of her way to help me
I am grateful for my resilience because I have been very anxious and afraid
I am grateful for colleagues who have given me all the support and understanding I need, without confronting me with my MS all the time
I am also still disappointed in my body for attacking itself, even though my immune system “means well”
I am mad and anxious because I do not understand and know what might happen to my body
I am afraid to get pregnant because I’d have to stop medication and have a big relapse
I am afraid I might not be able to take care of my children the way I would if I did not have MS.
I am afraid that people will not understand because one day I’m energetic and happy and others I’m anxious and so so tired.
I sometimes feel like I’m damaged goods, because I’m 25 and should be flourishing
I am super annoyed when people keep asking me how I am, and I reply with good and they ask: yes but I mean with your MS?
I hate that I have shut down to people around me (family, friends) because I need time to be alone and process this.
I’m sad that it is taking me long to accept my MS (or come to terms with it), because I feel like I’m wasting precious time now that I’m still pain free.
I’m afraid that I will go blind and/or deaf. (I have both vision and hearing problems due to MS)