Don't be sorry to ask for help, sounds like you are having an incredibly difficult time. As far as what you can do short term, speak to your MS team to make sure you have all the support available to you, both medical and physical ie physio and see if any other support can be offered. Therapy could help while you have so much to deal with. Help break down the issues you are facing into smaller pieces that are easier to process. Long term follow your neurologist's advice and do your best to stay strong, reach out for support when you need it. I can tell you this, while we can forget memories and feel lost. Those memories are always there, not just in a part of our brains that we can no longer access, but in the universe. Space and time are the same thing, so as we navigate the world by moving, there are probably mechanisms for navigating time in the same way. It's not something we can do because our senses are so limited, but all of the things that have ever happened, they are always happening all the time, forever. So no matter what, nothing is ever lost and nothing ever ends. I hope that brings you some comfort. My MS isn't as server as your by any means but I have chunks of long term memory that are gone and I remember how scary that was when I first realised. Take care and try to stay strong, I really wish I could offer more helpful advice. Message me if you need to talk

Thank you. It helped im sitting here tearing up . What you said touched me thank you