Last reply 4 months ago
Why does my wife have to disclose wages?

If I were on my own being assessed for help with my disabilities and had sat on my arse all my life on my own before I was struck down and crippled by MS, assistance would be granted hand over over fist.
But if you’re married, what has my problems got to do with my wife?
Am I any different to the person who’s never worked and lives on their own?
So why am I being assessed against my wife earnings???
She hasn’t got MS.
I have.
They done the same with the CSA to alot of father’s and mother’s which was eventually withdrawn.
As only one person was responsible for the child not the new partner.
Should I split from my wife and move her into a new house just to get some ramps and handrails fitted?
Rant overish…..

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5 months ago


Why oh why, it should not matter a jot

5 months ago

Hello @highlander, it does seem unjust. I’ve just packed in full time work as I can’t manage it anymore. I have always worked hard but, there is nothing available to compensate for my loss of earnings. I mean, I’m not moaning really as I can manage having rejigged everything, but how many others out there are forced to cut down and down on work, with nothing to support them? I don’t qualify for the dreaded PIP, because my idea of loss of independence doesn’t match theirs. I share your disgruntlement!

4 months ago

I’m in the US so I don’t know how your system works and sometimes the US system confounds me. When it does I try to think of myself as “out there” and how would I think if I heard about me getting some government payout or etc. I am a tax payer and think my taxes are too high and that my government is doing everything possible to keep them under control.

I don’t think I should get a “free” card just because I have MS. My sister died of breast cancer…still think I got the better deal. I don’t think that I should be able to just kick back on the couch because I have MS. Then again I think that there has to be some acknowledgement that I may not be able to muster on at the same pace and with the same expectations as someone without MS.

My active life expectancy (ie with Quality of Life) has been reduced so think I should be able to expect some years of decent retirement. I have earned good money in my working years and saved responsibly for retirement. I don’t think that should all be stripped from me because I have MS. I’m still working on my path and my plan. Tomorrow I have my first meeting with the Disability Group of my state and at the same time had an interview for a consulting gig. So-I’ll see what they say tomorrow in our disability discussion and at the same time wait for feedback on on my interview today. We have it worked out that if I manage one more year of income and insurance we should be able to bridge over to government programs.

I get frustrated by the government and insurance policies and programs but try to step back and look at it from the other direction and see if they have a point, how to change my approach or plan, etc.

Not sure if that makes sense-

4 months ago

Glad you put a post up about this.
I’ve not filled the paperwork out yet for that….oops forgot all about it.
Got distracted with doctors visits and wheelchair assessments.
Guess what I’ll be doing later 🤣

4 months ago

@highlander it can be sobering to do and frustrating. I have such a meeting at mid-day today. Yesterday an interview hoping I can get one last one-year contracting gig and today a meeting with the disability group to find out if I qualify for programs or insurance…and remember to avoid stress as that can have a negative impact on MS symptoms ;-0

4 months ago

Forgot to mention earlier.
I was assessed for the wheelchair on Saturday and was given a brand new chair from the NHS 😄 it’s brilliant.
I thought I’d be given an old clunker.
Best thing they’ve done so far….
But I still have to be assessed for hand rails and ramps not to make sure where I need them that’s already been done…..
It’s the government wanting to know where their money is going.
So they can make it harder for others in the future.
But that’s just my grumpy old opinion…. It could be seen as planning for the future to make it easier for others.
Maybe I’m just being a cynical old mizog 🤣

4 months ago

It is easy to become a cynic my friend 😉

4 months ago

I want to join the rant @highlader: I had my money taken into account when I asked social services to pay towards my partner’s care ( and mine ) even though we weren’t married. we were struggling financially so I was asked how long did I think the carer took to prepare his food and wash it up🤬
I ask you !!!!! xx

4 months ago

They pay up though-😉xx

4 months ago

Me too, on my Husband’s behalf. He can’t work due to a complex heart condition. When we had no money coming in apart from my part-time wage he was granted his small pension on medical grounds. Then he qualified for Income Support Allowance. Every year when his pension goes up his allowance goes down! Madness! He paid into the system for 30 years before this condition stopped him working. The Governments idea of what a couple need to survive on is unrealistic.

4 months ago

Of course your wife’s wages need to be taken into account! Benefits are there not to compensate for life’s shitiness, but to make sure that there is a safety net for those who need it most.

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