Last reply 11 months ago
Thinking out loud sorry.

Well it has been a while since I have been around. Has been a rough go around here the last while. Things went from bad to worse so fast. Allow me too explain.

First off back in Nov of last year I had a pretty bad relapse (or at least pretty bad for me anyway. Probably nothing compared to some of you though) then at the same time got a prostitus issue. Which of course made everything that much worse. On the bright side at least that was resolved in a short time. As far as the after affects of the relapse… Well not all of them have went away.

Then shortly after and I mean within the week my with had to take a month and a half off work due to being completely stressed out over everything. Which put us once again in some serious financial issues. Which in turn stressed me out on top of everything else that was going on with me. I knew it wasn’t her fault I know what Call Centres are like. But in the end got through it. Well sort of. Still fighting to get bills back under control. But we are close.

Then in the mix all that it was Christmas. The worry of how we were going to afford to give three kids the kind of Christmas they are used too. But again we managed to pull it off.

Then the New Year rolled in and as far as my wife and I were concerned we were doing ok again and things financially started to get a bit better and things were running a bit more smoothly. Or so we thought.

Come May my poor daughter started acting out really bad. Not sleeping at night, having trouble getting to sleep, her attitude changed, broke down completely at the smallest things, was complaining about an upset stomach all the time. It was like a switch was flipped and my baby girl was not the same anymore.

So we called the Dr to get her checked out and make sure everything was ok. Cause it seemed to be a lactose issue to us. As her stomach get really bad shortly after dinner. So brought her in and at the time the Dr agreed with us and suggested to cut out all dairy in her diet for a week and see what happens. So off we go and do this. Needless to say didn’t seem to make a difference. If anything things just kept getting worse.

Her attitude towards us and her brothers got worse. She has and still talks or should I say yells at all of us all the time. Still not able to sleep properly or get to sleep. Gets upset extremely easy. Saying things that an 8 year old should never say. A completely different little girl. So took her back to the Dr. They ran a bunch more tests and stuff. Ruled out anything physical wrong.

By this point I am completely beside myself because I feel like I am loosing at this parenting thing fast. I don’t know what is wrong with my baby girl and don’t know how to fix it.

So the Dr suggested to get ahold of our local Children’s Mental Health Organization. So we did that and had our first meeting with them just last week finally. After talking with this lady a lot of what she has said so far matches up with what we have been seeing. My poor little girl is stressed out over everything that is and has been going on and don’t know how to process it properly.

We are now at the end of July and well I don’t even know anymore. I feel like I am walking or rather stumbling from one shit storm to the next. Always waiting on that next shoe to drop.

Sorry for anyone who has mad it this far. It isn’t very interesting. I just had to put it down on paper so to say. Not looking for an sympathy or empathy. It is what it is. Just the cards I have been dealt. Can only play with what I have.

They (whoever they are that is) say the good Lord never gives you more then you can handle. Well personally I think I have to be getting maxed out!!!! Can someone else be it for a little while please. I need a break.

Once again sorry for the blabbering on and on about my issues. I know we all have them and wish that we didn’t on a regular basis. I am just ranting a bit.

Anyway hope all that read this through are having a good day on which ever particular day you read this. Wishing you all prosperity and good fortune.

And always remember:

Happiness can always be found. Even in the darkest of times. If one only remembers to turn on the light.

Good day to you all.

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11 months ago

@shannon_devlaminck , you;re right to come on here and “vent your spleen”.

Kids! We love them to bits, but they can try our patience.

I am really hoping that your daughter is just going through a phase. When siblings are involved, behaviours will change as the “pecking order” is established. Boundaries will be tested until they are understood.

You know about the dangers of stress and MS. You need to manage your present levels of stress, so that you can become the Father that you want to be. And, you can mould your young daughter into the daughter you want her to be.

There will always be another day tomorrow, with its new challenges and opportunities. So, I wish you and your family good luck in overcoming these, hopefully temporary, problems.

11 months ago

Wow, you’ve got a lot on your plate my friend! I do understand where you’re coming from. My husband & I are in a similar place & it seems so dark at the time you’re going through it. I know you’ll continue to reach out to your little girl. You just never know what their little minds are going through sometimes. she needs you to be firm, loving and unwavering in who you are as a father. Girls need our daddies! I had a teenage foster son who went through a terrible childhood before he came to us. He acted out continuously at home & school. He had to go through so much that we couldn’t fix for him. All we could do was love him & keep praying for him. I wouldn’t say he turned out completely normal. He will always have his struggles. But he knows we’re here for him and his life has turned out better than it could have. We can only do so much. It sounds like you’re getting through these hardships one day at a time. I’ll be praying for you & your family my friend!

11 months ago

Indeed you have a lot on your plate and it sounds very difficult. My teenage daughter was feeling miserable last summer and being a bit older likely didn’t act out quite as much as a younger girl would but was having digestive issues. As my husband has UC he reacted to it faster and had more ideas than maybe the typical guy. She went to a GP who suggested she cut out some foods. Dairy didn’t do it so she tried gluten. My husband doesn’t eat any of either. Cutting out the gluten made all the difference. She can have a little bit and suffer minor consequences but does best to not have any.

A relative (trained in child issues and works as a principal at a middle school) had issues with her boy when he was 10 years old or so. He is a big strapping athletic boy that will likely end up like is dad, about 6’4″. He was having anger issues and frustrations. If he stays away from certain dyes and additives in his food he feels much better.

Not saying everything is a food/diet issue but any issues from them added to the stress of growing up and going through all those challenges can be a bit too much some days. Give love and support and try to find the right recipe for their success…and yours 😉

11 months ago

@shannon_devlaminck , another concern is that your daughter may be getting to an age where she is identifying her Daddy as not being the same as other daddies.

There’s a link here to a small booklet for young children:-

Unfortunately, it won’t be available to order in hard copy, as it’s a UK-based charity. But it might be something you can share with your daughter online…….

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