@lemtrada-uk 

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lemtrada-uk

Social anxiety

I realise that I used to suffer from depression and anxiety so I sought the help of a talking therapist. These issues were brought on by my MS- although the MS remains I do feel that I am in a much better place mentally. However I have noticed that my social anxiety tends to flare up in social situations. I feel shy and apprehensive to initiate conversation, or when I’m asked a question I tend to be very abrupt. This is mainly because I feel that my life isn’t as exciting as other non-MS people and I don’t want to bore people with the negativity of MS, and lower the mood of the entire room. For example my university friends and I met up recently for another friend’s wedding. When everyone was talking about their high flying careers & professional lives, I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. I literally had nothing to add to the conversation. So I drifted out of the conversation (this technique helps me to manage my cognitive fatigue) to such an extent that I probably came across as disinterested. How do I help make myself more sociable? If my MS continues at this trajectory, then I can see myself becoming a boring individual or a recluse. I will end up losing good quality friendships. I am keen to avoid such a situation. Please help
@Tbaima

I also struggle with social anxiety and have for as long as I can remember. The best advice I can give is to not listen to it and force yourself into social interaction, no matter how awkward. So much easier said than done, but I have met some of the kindest and funniest souls that way. Since the diagnosis, I really shut myself off and only in recent months have I made the effort to get involved again. That's partly how I process anything, but I also didn't want to be a burden on anyone else. I struggle with vulnerability; it is hard for me to ask for help and it is hard for me to admit that I need it. I want to give sympathy and empathy to others, not be the sole recipient because I have MS and they don't. So, I did more yoga and breathing exercises. I also did more grounding exercises because I tend to drift off into space and stay there. But it wasn't enough. I needed that connection from friends and like-minded strangers. I forced myself to reach out to my friends first just to catch up. Then, I forced myself to go to a yoga class (I haven't worked out in a public setting in many years). I created another social media account because I deleted my long-standing profile as I didn't want to "hate like" my friends' successes. I also found this site and started posting. I try to interact more with co-workers as well. All of this was incredibly uncomfortable for me, but it really helped. The point is, try your hardest to not have the anxious thoughts run the show. Tell those thoughts No, and invite in possibility. Focus on what you CAN do. And, you become a better listener because you crave any other thoughts that are not related to health or MS or how you feel. Hugs! :)

@lemtrada-uk

@theresa_baima I can relate to so much of what you said. I too don’t want to be a burden on anyone else. I want my independence back lol. So whenever anyone offers to assist me with something, I tend to snap back at them. Then afterwards I think to myself “nooo, why did I react so negatively. That person was only trying to help.” I’ve push many people away from me by doing so. Including people who use to very dear to me. I’ve pushed family members away by being snappy/moody. I realise there’s a right way & a wrong way to express myself. It’s just that when I’m tired then I don’t always choose the right way lol. Also I have found that as I had to quit work due to my health, my social life is much more boring. When I do meet up with those few friends who do still make a lot of effort with me, I quickly find myself running out of conversation. Everyone else is talking about their careers or things which they’ve done courtesy of their said career, whilst my life in comparison is pretty dull lol. I’m not jealous of anyone at all. It’s just that when you suffer from fatigue, it does feel like I’m sleeping whilst the world goes on lol.