Should I tell the children?
Hi all, I was diagnosed with RRMS in July but I've known about it for years...my children are 11 and 8 and now they ask me if I'm ok. They live and see me all the time so unlike everyone else they see my symptoms like aches and pains, tiredness, bladder problems etc etc. I tell them I'm fine but I know they are beginning to get worried for me. My neurologist told me I would have to tell them within 6 months, I'm not on meds as decided to go holistic ATM. I just don't know whether to tell them. At what point did people tell their kids? And if I don't say, what do I do to allay their fears. They know I went for 'tests' for noises in my ears so they know something's wrong. I am not with that many visible symptoms and am on 12 monthly check ups. It is inactive ATM and my prognosis is good so I don't want to scare them but they are noticing. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks
@kat1 , Our children are quite sensitive to spotting situations, but don't fully understand them. Sometimes, they just need reassurance that "Mummy" is OK and won't be taken away from them anytime soon. There's some good booklets from the MS Trust here which may help :- https://support.mstrust.org.uk/file/store-pdfs/Talking-with-your-kids-about-MS-LR.pdf https://support.mstrust.org.uk/file/kids-guide-to-ms.pdf https://support.mstrust.org.uk/file/young-persons-guide-to-MS.pdf You can request paper copies free from here :- https://www.mstrust.org.uk/order-a-publication and follow the "For Families" link.
So, I don’t know your children and how obvious your symptoms may be to them, but I do know that as a kid growing up I had to watch my mother who was unwell and I hated not understanding what was going on. I would want to know, so that I could understand better and help when it was needed. The more I was told as I got old, the more I felt respected and ‘grown up’. It was upsetting knowing it wouldn’t get better for her but at least we could understand her actions a bit better. Last year I came across this site from speaking to some people at an MS conference and it was really helpful in seeing how you might be able to speak to your kids. There were also practical examples which could show them how it would affect you. http://digestingscience.co.uk Whatever you decide, know that your children still love you and care about you whatever happens.