@ryba 

Last reply

ryba

I don't know...

I just don't know anymore. Is it fatigue, or am i just lazy? Do I need help, or is it plain attention seeking? Do I really struggle with everything, or did I got used to people helping me out so I just do bare minimum and expect others to accept it? Did ms become my "character trait' and im being annoying to people? And I thought it would get easier after MAX a year. I skipped important classes for few weeks now. If I went to uni my stomach would hurt, I got dizzy and nauseous. I would cry in bathrooms. I don't feel that I'm good enough to be there. I hate it. One of my profs said that "you keep saying that you are not good at it. Stop saying that and just do it". As if it was that easy. After classes I come back home and sleep. I'm too tired to work on projects. Sometimes it's not even physical, but it's hard to Focus, to think. I come off as lazy and stupid. And all that "everyone is tired", "we all sometimes wish to die". Maybe. It doesn't seem good to me though. Tried to ask neuro about psychologist. She said that "there is one consultation a year". And that consultation is a questionare. On a scale 1-5 how do you feel... Then visited psychiatrist on my own. She laughed at me first ("where on earth do you meet friends?" after I told her that two of my friends tried to commit suicide) and then gave me antidepresants without telling me why or how to use them. Didn't even bought them. Now I'm waiting for another visit with another psychologist, but it's next month. It's a long post. I'm really sorry. It's not even connected to ms. I feel lost and powerless. I have no idea what to do. I just hope it's going to be better some day.
@RogerSouthall

Ryba, in the early stages of diagnosis I was questioning everything, I ran a company in the States, had numerous employees and worked sometimes 16+ hours a day, now a short visit to the shops and I return home tired, there are times when I can spend days sitting as my body just slows down, everyone is different and I would imagine you are taking a prescribed drug for your MS, if not seek advice, if you are it may not be the right one, it really is a case of understanding what you have and understanding your bodies capabilities. On here there are videos and blogs, mine www.wholesorts.com will show my ups and downs coping with MS, the first 2 years for a number of reasons were awful, now, well now I understand MS. Good luck, and we are always on this site whenever you need us

@RMDaniels

@ryba I TOTALLY get it! Your post says exactly how I feel too. I can say that I handle things better on antidepressants. I’ve been on them for many years and they do help me keep an “even keel” so my emotions don’t overtake me! I hope tomorrow is a much better day!