It’s my one month “anniversary” of my diagnosis and so far so good, I think. I first experienced symptoms in June of this year. I had some tingling and numbness in my left foot for maybe a week and then one morning I woke up and the feeling was gone from my foot and had moved to my left hand. About a week after that, it spread to my right hand as well and hasn’t left since. So basically, I just have tingly hands 24/7. The feeling varies in intensity but is always there in the background. I have no loss of strength or anything like that- so far its just a feeling. After a CT, some MRI’s, and finally a lumbar puncture with an MS panel, I was diagnosed with RRMS. To say that these past six months have been a whirlwind would be an understatement. I started Copaxone a week ago and am doing the 3x a week injections. My side effects have been extremely mild for which I am grateful. Mentally I am okay- for the most part. Warning- a little negativity and self pity ahead- I struggle when I start to think of the future and the uncertainty of it all. I have an amazing support system and a loving partner who is ready for whatever road this takes us down. This is reassuring but I’m still nervous for the future. We want to get married and start a family (maybe next year) and every time I think about that, I’m hit with this mental road block. Would it be selfish for me to have a baby that I may not be able to take care of in a few years? Would it be unfair to put that responsibility in my partner’s hands? His answer is always “whatever happens, we will figure it out” and I know he is right. Are these fears normal? I’m sure I’m still in the process of accepting everything and processing all of the emotions. I try my best to just live in the now and act normal but I’ve always been a planner so this is hard for me. I’m thinking about starting a low dose of anxiety meds just to help take the edge off. I’m also considering some sort of yoga or getting back into painting. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you 🙂
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