Last reply 9 months ago
Feel low & useless

I don’t generally feel low. I did used to a few years ago but, thankfully my mental health therapist helped me. Now the issue is that there are a few family members who seem to trigger my low mood. The difficulty is that I certainly don’t want to fall out with anyone (let alone a family member) and if I went with my therapist’s advice of vocalising my feelings, then it could lead to a confrontation.

Eg. When I’m playing with my little 2 year old daughter, a family member would come up to my daughter saying words to the effect of “shall we get a sweetie?” Or “shall we jump very high?” Then my daughter has gone away & the fantastic father/daughter bonding time is over. I feel so hopeless and boring (because I am unable to play half of the high octane games that most other people play.) Also it just reminds me of the dark days of years gone by when I had relapsed and was unable to do anything.

I don’t know whether other people are deliberately undermining me. I suspect not. But the fact remains that I’m not as fun as able bodied people. The last thing that I want to do is vocalise my feelings to family especially as I feel they will have a chat about me behind my back.

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9 months ago

Hi @lemtrada-uk
From personal experience family members seem to do their very best for you all the time But they don’t understand how to cope with us as such.
From their point of view their only trying to help and make our lives easier
So at times they think we’re behaving like an ungrateful child as we’re not having a break from things.
People have always talked about me behind my back even when I didn’t have ms . As I’m sure you have towards other’s it just the way the world works.
I know I do I’m not perfect.
I make a point of telling people that I can handle xyz and if I need help I’ll ask but until I ask I’ll be ok.
The only person that tells me what to do is my wife but I do push to far sometimes. But she knows me better.
Kids are very good at picking up little things.
My niece has picked up that it’s a great game to run of with my walking stick so I make a game out of it roll around the floor laughing and get one of the adults to fetch it back as we’re having fun.
Try and bring it up in a conversation rather than run into an argument head on.
Keep smiling

9 months ago

@lemtrada-uk , you can only do what you can do. Your daughter will grow up to understand that and she will love you regardless.

Don’t get fazed by your family, their actions are not intended or spiteful. Who was it said, “forgive them for they know not what they do”…………….?

9 months ago


Maybe I am missing something; yet since they are family members they do have an idea of your physical limitations.

So why not talk with Joe (or whatever their name is) privately. Mention that if a two year old is bored that they will wander off. When your daughter is happy being with you – please, please say nothing to break the bond we are presently sharing.

Or am I missing something?

9 months ago

@lemtrada-uk I can well understand how upsetting and frustrating it is with your daughter. Make sure she realises that YOU are the person who gives great cuddles, reads the stories, watches the Disney Classic/favourite programmes with her and is always there in the wheelchair if you use one to tell all her troubles to, and as she gets older, you will be the person she rushes to after school to tell you about the good day she’s had, the horrible boy in the class whose pulled her pigtails, you get the gist. You are not useless, never have been and never will be, remember how important YOU are, you’re a VIP🥂✌🏼

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