Without going into my whole life story ( it would take a while, and I don’t want to push you all over the edge..😂). But let’s say, my family was never functional, but guess, whose is?
That said, I lost my father a few years before diagnosis, and I have never been close to my mother. And only have one sibling.
My relationship with my siblings as adults has never been very healthy due to the dynamics I mentoned, growing up. And rather than bringing us closer, the lose of our father pushed us apart. I have virtually no contact with them.
I guess I’m at a point where I’m feeling frustrated with this. I don’t feel the relationship with either sibling or mum, due to multiple reasons, can be reconciled. Yet, it still leaves me angry, and I guess lonely.
I know it’s my choice, and may sound a contradiction.
I have a beautiful,caring partner, and she has been so strong for me during , well always. I also have been fortunate with some good friends, who in many ways always been like family. Yet even those relationships have been tested since diagnosis, I guess to me changing my lifestyle and perhaps changing due to the situation.
I am feeling pretty shitty, and I just sometimes miss my father and wish the dynamic of my family was different.
It helps to just let this out, and wonder if anyone else, has found they have lost relationships or had them strained since diagnosis.
The truth is, I’ve been overly thinking about this a lot recently. And I really don’t want reconciliation with my family, as sad as that may be to others.
Sorry for the downer message