Last reply 11 months ago

Hi, I’ve been feeling pretty low recently, not sure if it is depression or just a mood. Talked to my GP and MS nurse, they both recommend counselling, which I haven’t started yet. I don’t know why but I just feel shame- I know mental health is totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Was just wandering if anyone here has been through something similar, and how they dealt with it.

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11 months ago


My first wife (may she RIP) was a chartered psychologist. I got to meet her professional co-workers; plus she has family members who are professional counselors. Their true lack of talent was on full display at her funeral service.

In my very biased opinion my wife was the only normal one. The rest are in it for the paycheck; their actual caring about their patients is almost non-existent. They put in their hours for money only.

When my first wife died I was suicidal; a year later to the day I flipped a coin in my mind as to end things or not. The deciding factor was that the best way to honor her was to share what she gave & taught me. Almost 25 years later; life is still good.

My point is that only you can help yourself. Only you are in charge of your future happiness. A professional may be able to help you figure things out. If they can do that for you – great. Just don’t pin your hopes on other flawed humans…

11 months ago

@poojapurohit , there is an overwhelming feeling of guilt regarding our MS, until we can accept the diagnosis. We need to understand that it’s not our fault and that we have done nothing to cause the MS.

It is also normal to feel somewhat depressed when dealing with a lifelong condition. There’s a fair few of us who take anti-depressants to help our general mood.

Counselling may help, as you do need to talk about your MS.

11 months ago

I am recently diagnosed and went through weeks/months of being ok and then it just hit me – I felt sad, depressed, lonely. Nothing I’ve experienced before. Perhaps it was it just hitting me now that I have a lifelong condition.

You aren’t alone and please feel free to write everything down here if it helps. You need a good support network to get you through the cloudier times x

11 months ago

Hello @poojapurohit, I don’t see from your profile how long you’ve been diagnosed. Seeing a counsellor doesn’t mean at all that you have mental health difficulties. A counsellor is trained to help people talk things through and help them weigh up and consider options. Seeing a counsellor regularly will enable you to see where you are on your journey. I don’t know how old you are, or if you work. If you do, then maybe an Occupational Health Assessment could help point you in the direction of a counselling referral? There is lots of support for you here, and we all understand the various thoughts and emotions that a diagnosis can bring x

11 months ago

Thanks guys for your support. It feels good to talk to people who understand, I feel I don’t get that at home- as I feel my family sort of ignore the fact that I have the condition because I’ve not relapsed in three years and am not physically disabled. I think I will start the counselling and just talk things over with a professional. Thanks again everyone

11 months ago

@poojapurohit , it’s so difficult for families, as we look healthy and normal. We just don’t look like we have a medical condition.

The only people that understand MS are those people who have MS! 😉

11 months ago

Counselling sounds like a good idea just to talk to someone not related to you about things. I just got a Counselling slot through a charitable organisation called Hope and they are trained volunteers. I went for it as I never had Counselling when my brother died in an accident 22 years ago and 21 years ago got a diagnosis of Ms so I basically ignored the grief and struggled onwards and I know exactly what it’s like when even your own family ignore it too and still sometimes say ‘but you look great,’. Previously being a bit sceptical originally, but now had one initial assessment Counselling session i found that it was really so good just to talk to somebody not related to any of my family even all these years later. The volunteer counselors are doing this in their spare time so no pay check – you just pay what you can afford. Hope you are able to get some help. Best wishes from Loo K

11 months ago

Hi @poojapurohit Been there. Had to work through a few of my own biases, but logic prevailed… availing yourself of the tools and supports available (whatever those may be) so you can feel your best just makes sense! Ain’t no shame in that😉

Life is full of stress and MS is a huge complicating factor.

Counseling, in my experience, is a great opportunity to work things through with an impartial 3rd party. Also, recently I participated in a mindfulness (and meditation) group program. While not all content resonated for me, I did take a lot of positive practices away that I continue to use.

11 months ago

Hi @poojapurohit, I think it takes a lot of courage to go and talk to someone you don’t know, but in my experience you will know quite quickly whether the person you are talking to is right for you or not. Any good therapist knows how difficult it is to take those first steps, and it’s part of their job to help you decide if it’s going to be helpful. You can find out more about different kinds of therapy, what’s involved etc from the link here

Hope that helps. Good luck!

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