Anxiety/Depression ?
Hi all,
Im not feeling myself at the moment and not sure what to do. I have a call back from doctor booked on monday but dont even know where to start. Everything at the moment seems to be overwhelming me for want of a better description. I am very fatigued and ache from morning till night but i am still working and intend to carry on. I begin my Lemtrada treatment in october and am understandably nervous about this. My diagnosis and treatment has been pretty quick to be honest and i have coped with it all quite well so far - mostly with humour as that is what i usually do lol. My humour and smile seem to have deserted me now and i am quite snappy and bad tempered to be honest. This is not like me at all but i am really struggling day to day with these feelings of total misery. My friends have noticed the change in me and have been so supportive but i feel i cant keep putting this on them. I feel paranoid about people not liking me any more and worry all the time about losing my friends and family because of the way i am. How can i describe this to the doctor without sounding like an idiot - another thing is i lose my train of thought - i start to speak and forget where i am going with it. How can a doctor help me if i dont even know how to explain how i feel, i have had depression several times over the years but this somehow feels different. Sorry for the rambling x
Hello @linzzzi, please be assured that everything you describe is almost par for the course for the newly diagnosed. I recognise everything you experience from when I was diagnosed last year. The physical side of MS is one thing, the enormity of diagnosis is quite another. Then, there is the unquantifiable stuff, for example, how your emotions can become more extreme, how susceptible you are to stress in all its forms, not to mention the old favourite, snappiness and moods. It sounds like you have absorbed and got on with an awful lot. But you need to be kind to yourself and to expect everything to take time. I had my first onset 2 years ago and could never have estimated how long ‘recovery’ from relapse and diagnosis would take. I’d say it was about a year. I’d also say, I am way tougher emotionally and and mentally now, and you will be too. Stay strong, you will get through it.....x
Hi @linzzzi , it's nice weather for rambling! :wink: Don't under-estimate the impact that the diagnosis and forthcoming treatment is having on you. You're on an emotional rollercoaster and you now need to start being kind to yourself. Your problems and ramblings suggest that your stressometer is maxing out. This is probably at the root of how you feel at the moment. You need to sit down and take a long, deep breath. You have been diagnosed with a lifelong condition and you will be addressing this with a powerful treatment, so you do need to sit down and take stock. Your Doctor should quickly understand your predicament and hopefully prescribe something to calm you down.