@Doug_Graham 

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Doug_Graham

An emotional day.

I focus every bit of my energy on finding something positive in and hopefully getting others with our disease to understand we still have a life first and by the way we have MS. We’re all on a journey that takes us in different directions same as our treatments. I’ve had MS for > 20 years and in 2018 diagnosed went from RRMS to SPMS. I have limitations but I try to live my life at peace. I always stress that I had to learn I don’t have MS by myself. It effects everyone I care about too. I began sharing it with my wife of 31 years through these posts. I focus every morning when I wake up on something that is good or I have achieved in my life. I always use that inner strength to get up no matter how hard it is but focus on my first thought not MS. I have been going to a weekly bible study with some friends at church. I try not to bring God into my discussion with those that are in a true emotional and physical battle with their MS. Society isn’t as accepting to the power of God. My faith is growing but I want others to find an inner strength for their peace. If it’s God, music, meditation, yoga .., find something. This morning at church the pastor used my drive to find peace for others with MS as an example of loving your neighbors as you love yourself. I was a bit surprised and deeply touched. I have had some dark quetioing times, fears, depression..., over the 20 years. But I truly believe I’ve come out of that fog by not being the “man that can fix everything and not share his emotions.” Give it a try think and focus on something other than your MS. Talk about it to someone that cares about you. Even if just a start on shift.ms. Your central nervous system has MS but your live shouldn’t be controlled by MS.
@ItsMewithMS

I have kind of a strange belief, perhaps, I think from a book I read once. The concept is that we live many lives and continue to until we learn "our lesson" and move towards being a better person. I've recognized that in myself I need to develop patience ;-) As I am challenged I try to strengthen my acceptance and patience. It comes with a "control" aspect so I incorporate that. Certainly having MS would teach you that you have no control. If there is a "reason" I have it the reason could me to teach me that I control nothing. I can only hope to influence. Pregnancy was a "control" lesson. It was in God's hands. When she came a month early, for no known reason, again that was God showing me he was more in control of my calendar than I am ;-0 Trying to let go...there are daily lessons and I hope I am learning so I don't need to repeat this. ;-0

@Doug_Graham

Thank you so much for your comments. I too am learning patience and letting go of the control. I held inside me mentally physically and emotionally for almost 20 years. Putting into the hands of God is huge a relief. I am trying to start a blog (Didn't know what one was until this past year) but, it is "awake with my ms". Not ready to go live on internet yet. I have found the true sleep battle is keeping our eyes closed around our life with MS. As if we are in control of MS. Your words are right on the spot that I'm in my life. I have open my eyes to accept what Or better put God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. I had always thought that was a bible verse. But, I found it was written and published in 1951. The geek wire led me to the closest biblical writing for the Serenity Prayer. Philippians 4 6 - 7: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”