Robby: What three things, advice, would you give to a partner of an MS?
Dr Rachel Davies, Counselling Psychologist: This is such a good question, I love the idea of having just three things to say. So, the first thing I would say is you matter as well, so you matter and you need to look after yourself, because if you are a partner and you’re caring for somebody, you can sort of self-sacrifice a bit and you need to look after yourself. So you need to still have your work, have your friends, have your hobbies, have a life outside the relationship to keep yourself well and happy, that’s really important. And then you can be better for your partner. So that was my number one.
My number two is this thing about communication. So if you’re worried about some symptom or what something’s going to be like in the future, don’t keep it inside, try to talk to the person with MS, because who knows, they may be worrying about the same thing, but it’s better that they know what you’re worrying about. So try to talk to your partner. That’s my number two.
And my third advice is to just be realistic. You don’t have to be the perfect partner, you don’t have to be the best partner in the world, you just have to be good enough. And you’re going to have bad days and you’re going to have days when you just want the MS to go away, and you’re going to have days when you’re going to argue and it’s not going to feel great. But, like you said earlier, all relationships are not perfect and just because you have had an argument, that’s okay. So my third piece of advice is be realistic, don’t be so tough on yourself.
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