fabes 28/03/18
Last reply 2 months ago
When do I stop working

I’m still working as a teacher, it’s been 13 going on 14 years, I just don’t know how much longer I can take the pressure. I think about how they evaluate us, what they put us through, now the number of lockdowns we have, so much stress, so much criticism from the administration. I was on Topamax for6months 150mg, my mind was so clouded that I didn’t know what I was actually doing anymore, I was observed and received 4 ineffective. I am now on 50 mg and work wise doing much better however my headaches are a mess. I find myself in the ER at least once a week for the pain. I think work is stressing me so much. I love my job but I’m torn between love and health. I know I should just move to Florida and teach in a quiet sunny place. I think I answered my own question, however, I still need to take care of my parents, who are 80 and 82, they have done everything for me and always been there for me.
Life never gets easy
Confused

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rachaellouise
3 months ago

@fabes

I don’t think you should stop working just to work in something you love and that doesn’t stress you out …find something you love then role reversal for MS then! Instead of stressing you it will add good things for the MS and endorphins and all that jazz lol! 😊
As for your parents take them with you wherever you go or perhaps arrange help for them etc
Your Health must come first! If your stressed and ill then you can’t do much else! Health is your wealth
Priority to that… sometimes you have to make tough decisions in order to protect and look after yourself … it’s not selfish to look after yourself and self care is a great friend to you

Rachael x


fabes
3 months ago

You’re absolutely right, I do have to come first. No one will take care of me if I don’t put myself first no one will, I think that’s probably true at work too. Administration is pushing older teachers out, unfortunately us older teachers know what we are doing but they don’t seem to like it. It’s sad that this generation has to grow up this was, I try so hard to bring life into the classroom but it’s not enough.
Thank you Rachael for making me realize I matter, I forget sometimes


vixen
3 months ago

Hello @fabes, sorry you’re going through this turmoil. Your health most definitely has to come first. Also, look at it that you’ve been really lucky having a career which you have loved. So many can never say that about their lives. Make a new project for your life; move yourself and your parents to Florida. Set yourself up as a tutor or something. At the moment, you can choose to leave with your head held high. It would be horrible to get to a position where an event, incident or argument brought you to that point. You’ve done wonderful service with all those children you’ve taught, there’s no finer achievement. You didn’t ask to get MS but use your strength to make a good decision for you and your parents. Good luck, no get out there and bring quality to your life x 🙂


briant
3 months ago

Give it up I stopped when I was 34 best thing I done no stress spent real quality time with kids when I was working I missed so much of the childhood and didn’t realise and the fatigue halved stress is no good for ms sometimes I do miss work but I keep my fingers in a few pies just as a hobby but I was lucky my life insurance paid out I know some people can’t quit but if you can do it you will feel so much better for it


rachaellouise
3 months ago

@fabes

You do matter ! Glad you realise that.

Your doing everything you can in the classroom , it’s all enough. I know how you feel when you think “is it good enough” it makes me stressed but it is good enough what your doing! You care so much but you need to look after you now… like you say no good if your too ill then where would you be?
Honestly self care you are a priority
What do you like to do to have fun, relax anything that’s makes it about you will make you feel better.

Xxxx


fabes
3 months ago

I just want to say thank you, I think sometimes hearing it from others makes a lot more sense than hearing it from yourself. I tend to argue with myself and think this is just not realistic but in reality at 52, it’s t to say I’ve done a lot and now I need to take care of myself, I need to focus on relocating and finding a new place to live and work where I’m going to be happy. Thank you for all being there.
I’m finishing off the year but will be writing litters to some schools and tutoring companies for next school year. Big relief islifted.

Going to start
Fabienne


vixen
3 months ago

Hello again @fabes, it’s me again, how is this for trans-Atlantic coincidences….in 2 weeks I will be 52. I am also in education having taught for 20 years and myself and husband have decided to both cut back on work and move to another city. With me being diagnosed last year we have both been through a lot and have suddenly thought……well…..why not? This is quite an unusual decision for us but we are really excited. My sister was recently diagnosed too which has been tough all round. And she and her husband are flying to New York tomorrow to visit friends! I will tell her to give you a wave as she flies into Newark x


fabes
3 months ago

Wow! That’s quite a coincidence. Where from across the Atlantic, my whole family is from France and this is is the first time I’ve seen so many family members come visit. I was diagnosed 7 years ago. It was a stressful yr and I left after a horrible observation for spring break to Florida and didn’t come back to work till 2 days before Easter break. They diagnosed me fairly quickly and I stayed home for 6 weeks. It sounds like you have a supportive husband, unfortunately my husband passed 6 months after I was diagnosed from kidney cancer, but I’ve been fortunate enough to have supportive children and great parents. Tell your sister and her husband to enjoy themselves, the weather is getting better. I’ll catch that wave 👋.
Thanks for all the moral support, it’s hard at times knowing what one used to do and what one can no longer do, hard to accept at times.


strictlysoca
3 months ago

Hey Fabes just sending some support as a fellow educator. I went into student support with reduced teaching hours and it’s been a good choice for me stress wise. We are transformed by diagnosis and we are still valuable. We have to offer our gift / vocation in a different way.

Good luck


fabes
2 months ago

After these state exams, I have finally figured out that maybe it’s time to leave teaching, but the sad part is that my heart is still in it.

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