Last reply 3 months ago
What do you look for in a friend

Hi off topic of ms , just wanted to know what you look for in meeting new people and friends

Rachael

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sarah_irwin
3 months ago

For me its someone who listens, who is honest with me when Im in the wrong and honest with advice. Someone who doesnt hold it against me when i go quiet and distant. Someone who likes to laugh with me and at me. Finally someone who is happy for me to be there for them in exactly the same way….


edmontonalberta
3 months ago

@rachaellouise

Without trust there is no relationship… Loyalty is next – they are either on my side or they can find someone else. My time is limited & valuable! I refuse to invest it with those who do not earn it. Don’t get me wrong; I give more than I demand… ๐Ÿ˜‰

@sarah_irwin is correct yet she is discussing what makes it enjoyable to be with someone. I am more hard core with my initial screening.

Do they have long term friends with good morals & values? (birds of a feather flock together) I like workers – not talkers. I like people who say good things about others instead or tearing them down. I hate gossipers. The list goes on…

And if I am thinking about a couples relationship, how do they talk about their parents? A guy who loves his Mother is worth pursuing by a woman. A Woman who thinks highly of her Dad will almost always be very supportive of her boyfriend.

My first wife passed away 25 years ago. My Uncle once asked my how I managed to marry two impressive women. I explained my screening process while he listened. Then he said I misunderstood – how did I find two women to love me?

After I stopped laughing I thought it over. I make them laugh. They get whatever they want within reason; so long as we can afford it… Life is a Journey & we all have the same destination; they & I are enjoying the drive together!


vixen
3 months ago

Hello @rachaellouise, to @edmontonalbertaโ€™s trust and loyalty I would also add honesty, self awareness and humour. And family values to are important I think. (Actually now I write this, these are the same characteristics I would want from a life partner too.)


nutshell88
3 months ago

Friend that makes me happy, never cross their limit to my private life choices or ask questions related to my personal life. Never giggle about my weakness i mean body and nerve wise , not to be
2 faced and its the most thing i hate. Never talk about me behind my back. To go out with me often and be a good listener. To be educated of course because education changes personality to the better and make people more mind stable. Not be moody hmm sorry ๐Ÿ˜… i got carried away


seanachai
3 months ago

Hi RL

Interesting topic, which I might add you have not shared what raised the interesting question ?

“friend” such a loose word these days… few and far between truth be known; and sadly most find out when times get tough…

However, for real best friends type of friendship, I think most have captured it well above, trust in both directions… honestly… I must admit I do hate the view they are on “my side” all the time… I prefer to have hardcore honestly telling me I am an idiot where appropriate… rather than just take my side, its a fine balance…

In short, if you can’t experience all the emotions at there extremes with a friend, then maybe there not a “best” friend….

its a very subjective topic, but an interesting one….

Lets not forget, loneliness is a bigger problem now than ever, ironically with a bigger population than ever….and its a real problem more so I suspect for MSers ?

S


edmontonalberta
3 months ago

@seanachai

“few and far between truth be known; and sadly most find out when times get tough”…

Actually, I appreciated when times got tough. That allowed me to cleanse “my friend list” when I found out they were just fair-weather friends taking advantage of what I was giving in the relationship. With no intention of giving back when I needed their assistance.

I have deleted more than 90% of those I knew a few times in my life then invested my time & energy on others who met my standards. Although almost everyone (i.e. family) told me that was the wrong thing to do – now that I hit a new speed bump with my MS diagnosis, I have a solid core of friends who are on my side 100%…

@rachaellouise

I too am curious why you created this post. You can PM me if the reason is not for public consumption…


rachaellouise
3 months ago

@ all

I thought it was a good topic to talk about really… away from ms

I think a lot lol

I look for qualities in a friend and I hope to be the same to the friend … whatโ€™s that saying ?

Kindness
– give and take a balance for both friends not all one sided . (I suppose thatโ€™s a bit like then being taken advantage of)
Energy – energy giver not drainer!
Supportive and encouraging I think a supportive person in any relationship is the most important thing to me. – someone who encourages me in what I want to do and my dreams even if they have a different view but Iโ€™d thats whT makes me happy – happy for me. I also want to try to give the same back

Space and who I can be myself with and feel comfortable

I think in this journey Iโ€™m reassessing this and who I want to be to people I meet aswell as who they are . I think I want to be a certain way first then hope to attract similar

Rachael


peterfrancis
3 months ago

It used to be a case of having the same taste in Music and Films…. still is for the most part, most importantly though, people who are honest and trustworthy are the qualities I look for in possible friends.


chezy17
3 months ago

Hey Chick.

Hope you’re doing well and enjoying this much needed ๐ŸŒž?!

If you’re talking about friendships as in best friends, I have 3 amazing friends that I have known since we were 16! We have all watched eachother grow up and go through good times, and through bad times but we’ve always got eachothers backs and will always be fighting in eachothers corners ๐Ÿ˜Š, always there when we need eachother and will always call eachothers crap when needed! I trust them with my life!
Take care ๐Ÿ˜Š! X

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