Last reply 6 years ago
Warning! Pity Party Rant….with my apologies.

So I’m sitting here at work with the vision in my left eye all screwed up, my head hurting, my back tightening and spasming, a general rubbery feeling in my left leg, and a slight feeling of being dizzy. I’m having a good day. Not being a smart ass either…this is me on a good day.
Its been two weeks and I haven’t heard anything from the hospital on whether or not they find me worthy enough to get an appointment.
I am overcome with this need to urgently call the hopstial and let them know that that they don’t have all the information, which is entirely true. The need to urgently tell them everything that is going on and why they MUST see me.
I’ve spent the evening reading articles about living in the limbo that is being unduagnosed….and all I am finding are stories of people who have less symptoms and recieved help faster. The statement “I noticed my eye hurt and my vision was a little off….my doctor told me he suspected ON” and others like it make me want to pull my hair out. Its selfish. I know, but I’m sitting here like a damn med school chart on “THESE ARE MS SYMPTOMS IN PATIENTS” and the only thing I’ve gotten are some furrowed brows and a disinterested, incompetent neurologist who ignored my tremors, numbness, tingling and burning, SEVERE spasticity, blurry vision, cognitive issues, dexterity issues, drop foot, balance problems, limp, and everything else….and diagnosed me with vertigo. Granted my MRI was clean and blood tests were clean….but still.

I’m being selfish and feeling sorry for myself. But sometimes I have a hard time controlling the urge to just run into the nearest hospital or grab the nearest person and scream “SOMETHING IS F*ING WRONG WITH ME! I NEED HELP!”

Anyways….I’m sorry if I have offedned anyone and I definitely DO NOT mean to trivialize ANYONES experiences or feelings. Just needed to explode a little bit and didn’t know where else to turn.

Add categories

Browse categories and add by clicking on them

You can remove current categories below by clicking the ‘x’.


Anonymous
6 years ago

*diagnosed


ophelia
6 years ago

Massive hugs for you Chels, I know how you feel, I was exactly the same. I hope you get some answers soon.xxx


reddivine
6 years ago

Well I was gonna say shout and make a fuss, but it seems like you did! good going girl………just refer the “professionals” to the website and the acres of research on MS…..and contiue to be a pain in the butt.
Good luck gal!


Gav
6 years ago

There is nothing wron with being delfish on the odd occasion, sometime its the only way to get what you NEEDm and it sounds like you need it.

Could I offer you this rage dinosaur and perhaps a hug?

RRRRAAARRRGGGHHHHHH|!!!11!1!!z!11!!”1!!

Sorry, hes got wind atm

=)^^(=


positivelyhopeful
6 years ago

*Hugs* no need to apologise for your explosion of feelings, you’re entitled to it especially considering the way you feel! I think it might be a good idea for you to go and ‘scream’ some more at dr’s, etc until you get the help and answers you need. You shouldn’t have to put up with what you’re experiencing! I had a similar experience with a specialist I was seeing and I didn’t agree with his dismissive attitude towards my symptoms so I went and saw another specialist and got the diagnosis and answers I needed!
Take care and I hope you feel better and get the answers you need soon!


stumbler
6 years ago

Chels, you have every right to have a rant. Dealing with the unknown is never easy.

I have a friend in a similar position, clear MRI, clear evoked potentials. Her Neuro is a bit more professional and thinks it could be Fibromyalgia. The symptoms do see to overlap somewhat.

She’s now being tested to see whether she should be taking a high dose vitamin D supplement to assist.

Hope this helps


stumbler
6 years ago

My “m” fell off. That’s “seem”, not “see”!


mermaid
6 years ago

Hi Chels. No wonder you’re in the mood for a rant. And rightly so. It is frustrating to present with so many problems that I’d think clearly point to MS. I am waiting for an MRI scan. Obvioulsy those in the know don’t feel the need to keep us mere mortals informed of when an appointment is due so it’s more weeks, months, living in “Limbo Land”. I think some people must think we have nothing better to do than spend time in waiting rooms and consultant rooms going over the same symptoms and getting no feedback, and at home we fret about when the letter comes through the door for the MRI. I remember the neurologist asking me what I thought was wrong. Eh, hello, you’re the specialist! You tell me! I get tremors so bad, particularly at night. If anyone bar my partner saw me they’d they’d think I was auditioning for “Strickly Come Dancing” Anyhoo, Chels, you rant all you want. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Take care.

Angela.


scotkiwi
6 years ago

Big hug from Me! xx


DJDsouza
6 years ago

Whenever I watch House on TV, there are two things I often think – ‘wow, why don’t British hospitals look like that’ then realise that’s what health insurance gets you, and secondly House’s diagnoses often firstly includes MS as a possible answer to the problem, which falsely gives me the impression that MS is something that’s dealt with in the States quite easily.

I think i watch tv too much! Wish i could hug ya whilst the docs wake up


Anonymous
6 years ago

Thank you all so very much for your well wishes and support! It means a lot to me and has definitely helped my mood.

@DJDsouza – I know what you mean. When I watch house I think three things
1: Why don’t American hospitals look like that
2: Why don’t doctors really work to figure out the problem like House
3: Why the HELL do they always bring up MS and then dismiss it immediately because the MRI is clean? Drives me NUTS! Its a show about rare illness or illnesses that are presenting in a non-typical fashion…but they don’t ever cover the rare presentation of MS. (depressingly that is how doctors seem to deal with it here though)

Sadly MS isn’t dealt with easier here. Actually from reading posts on here I’m starting to think its easier to get a dx over there.

If I didn’t know better I would have thought all of my doctors had never heard of MS before or knew any of the details. I’ve has spasticity since my 2007 flare up. But my first symptom to flare this last time was the spasticity…and that was when my GP gave up. When my spasticity got worse (before any of my other symptoms appeared) she shrugged and referred me to a physiatrist. He got the full picture and sent all his info to the neurologist…and the neurologist blew me off and the only information she sent to my GP was that I was experiencing dizziness. That was it. So yeah….its been a special infuriating ride so far.


DJDsouza
6 years ago

@Chels I think it’s because House is really British 😉


danrb80
6 years ago

Rant away it is frustrating and aweful in limbo land. Do these people not know what it is like to have scarey stuff go on with your body and to be told its nothing then to wait months for tests that are inconclusive. Vent your anger and clear your self of this rubbish. Take care chels and i hope something happens very very soon.

Join Shift.ms to reply to this post.

Become part of the community so you can chat, compare and learn from other MSers.