Last reply 2 weeks ago
Venting – memory issues

In the last couple months, I’ve had a few scary memory issues. 3 fairly significant memory lapses, the usual other stuff we all experience (getting up from your chair, and then forgetting what you were doing), etc. Other cognitive issues as well.

Anyway I was telling a very good friend this morning about this stupid thing…. I had “liked” something on FB on Monday, and commented on the thread. It was about the Philadelphia Flyers new creepy mascot. On Tuesday, I posted the same exact photo, thinking I had just discovered the darn thing — zero memory of seeing it and commenting on it the day before. Not a life shattering thing, just a stupid NHL mascot. But, combined with the other memory issues the last couple months, it’s worrying to me.

Her comment was “this is not the biggest worry in your life, let it go.” I had only said ONE thing about it. I just saw the neuro on Monday for these new-to-me memory problems. Such an unfeeling thing to say!! How would she like it if she had to deal with memory issues like this? I very lightly vent to her — and I’m laughing because it IS a silly thing but combined with everything else, it’s scary to me. And she’s a really close friend. Aren’t they supposed to be supportive?

I’m normally a very upbeat happy person, and don’t dwell on stuff, but this is a hard week. In addition to usual life stuff, I feel like I’m losing my mind, and then to get that comment from a close friend…. I don’t know. It’s crappy. I don’t talk to many people about MS. My husband and this friend, really. Nobody wants to hear somebody complain about their health all the time so I’m pretty quiet about it all (even with my husband).

That’s all. I know you guys understand.

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andysshere
3 weeks ago

hi yes merrory has happened to me over the last 3 months and it gets you worrying and thinking stupid . the thing that i do now and find it helps and slows it down are mind games and cross word search games . i started on easy and at first would reset it to start again to remember the sequence , then after time would just keep going without reset and do a little everyday.


stumbler
3 weeks ago

@isaacson72 , we have to deal with so much that we are at risk of one additional symptom pushing us over the edge. It’s a case of the straw that broke the camel’s back.

We become quite resilient. We have to! But, we’re only human.

You’ll re-establish your sense of perspective and you can then file this latest incident in that box marked, “just one of those things”……….


vixen
3 weeks ago

@isaacson72, if only ‘letting go’ of MS was that easy…..yes, those sorts of comments can seem patronising. Memory issues are a right pain. I do find that a bit of brain training helps. Also, not to have too many things going on at once helps. Those times when I have a few separate life issues to deal with in one go, I notice that I make mistakes easily. Stay strong, you’re not alone….x


isaacson72
2 weeks ago

I saw my neurologist on Monday about this. He feels confident that every cognitive issue I have is directly related to MS (lesions in all the right places) and that stress makes it all worse. I know it’s my job. But what to do? I need to find different ways to do this – start writing down every single request people make of me (I’m a paralegal, with a huge case list and a boss who is more easily distracted than I am — and he doesn’t have MS or anything else!). I already use my calendar for everything I can think of but clearly, it’s not enough. If I can get work stress in line, maybe I won’t have as many memory lapses. Those are so scary.

I’ve got to say something to that friend too, so it doesn’t happen again and I can clear the air. Otherwise I’m just going to resent her for saying stuff like that. She’s pretty blunt normally, so I’m hoping she didn’t mean it to be mean, but it sure came across like that.


mamawals
2 weeks ago

I totally get what you mean. The cognitive changes scare me the most. I have memory problems too, and sometimes mix up words or can’t remember a word. I’m scared I’m forgetting important things. And it’s embarassing. I wonder how much people notice. I think I’m pretty good at hiding it but it’s so hard to tell. I keep lists of everything now. I’m sorry your friend wasn’t more supportive. She probably just didn’t know what to say. I honestly don’t talk to anyone in real life about my MS. Even my husband doesn’t really want to know.


mamawals
2 weeks ago

Oh and that Flyers mascot is horrible. The Philly Fanatic was bad enough but now they want another bad mascot? What is Philly thinking? Who needs a mascot when you have the broad street bullies?


stumbler
2 weeks ago

@isaacson72 , can you not use a notebook/journal to scribble aide memoirs as you go along. I had a boss who used this method of keeping track and it worked well and it also gave him a historic log.

Are you sure you need to say something to your friend? It was probably something that was unfortunately inappropriate, but said without malice aforethought. It maybe best to let this one go and move on………


edmontonalberta
2 weeks ago

@isaacson72

Michelle – you state it was a “very good friend” who said something to upset you. However, do we have that many friends that we can discard the close ones?

In my opinion – nothing spiteful was said; there was no intention to hurt you if what you posted is accurate. It appears to be what your close friend thought was a supportive comment.

I know that we all have our down moments – but please reconsider confronting her before some damage is done…


potter
2 weeks ago

I have been diagnosed for 11 years and also have figured out that no one wants to hear your complaints. I have had a lot of pain in my left foot for awhile so I went to a foot doctor and he took a MRI. He said I had arthritis in my foot and a torn ligament, nothing much he could do about it. My husband and I were talking about it and I told him I thought the next car we buy should be a automatic instead of a manual. He just blew up and said I wasn’t disabled yet and that I never complained about having a manual transmission before. I told him I was just thinking of the future, I never complained because I knew no one was listening. Potter


isaacson72
2 weeks ago

“Confront” wasn’t the right word. She had texted me that sentence, I should have just said I wanted to “respond” to her. I did – and I just said “actually the feeling that I’m losing my mind IS my biggest worry at the moment.” Then we moved on to other topics. I feel better that I didn’t just internalize that, and she did say she didn’t mean to diminish what I was feeling. So we’re all good.

@mamawals — that mascot is crazy or genius. How many more people are going to watch Philly games now? I bet a ton! It is a creepy thing to look at though.

@stumbler — yes. I think that’s what I’m going to do. Walk around with a notebook everywhere, and write down everything I get asked to do, and other random things I think of that need to be done. It will be a hassle but I can’t risk forgetting things at work. I used Outlook for awhile, but those pop-up reminders are easy to ignore and I don’t always have it with me. If I have a notebook that goes everywhere with me, once I get good at using it regularly, I’m hoping that will help. I bet I’ll forget to bring it with me everywhere or I’ll put it down and forget where it is!


gemstemple
2 weeks ago

I’ve been having memory problems and speech problems for about 2 years now. I find it really hard and quite irritating. I hate it when I can’t think of the word I need or get my words all mixed up 😥
My husband is finding it difficult, I think it upsets him when I can’t remember conversations we’ve had. Although think it also pisses him off when we’re watching something we’ve seen before but
I have no recollection of it, I’ll make a comment about it and he sighs and says “yes you said that last time” funny but not really x

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