Last reply 6 years ago
Thursday Night :(

So, Thursday nights…the night all week I dread. Thursday nights my fiance does night schooling, and does not get home until 11ish. This leaves me with about 5 hours home alone. The old me would have loved that…but this me atm not so much. I find myself sitting every thursday nights, picturing worst case scenarios for this disease, one of which to date has not been very eventful (touch wood it stays that way). But tonight is really bad. I just need to know that there are people out there that live perfectly normal lives (well, you know what i mean). I keep having this horrible feeling come over me. My life is just getting started, im almost a qualified vet nurse, im getting married in october, we are trying to build our first home…and I keep feeling like I’m gonna miss it all…and it terrifies me. Somebody please just give me some hope.

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6 years ago

hi your life is just starting getting married dont sit and think about ms trust me it will just get you down. i work out every day do as much as i can i evan try from time to time to riding a bike thats fun lol. dont sit and think about thinks its not good for you just think of things you need to do for the wedding. hope it helps.

6 years ago

thanks for that 🙂 just find being alone really hard lately…leaves too much time for the mind to wander!!!

6 years ago

Hi Jessie,
I’m newly diagnosed and I very often feel the same way you do and I just feel hopeless and frustrated. I worry so much about my future – work, staying mobile and also, I get so upset about meeting potential future partners. I’m currently single and I am so scared about meeting a man who would run a mile when he finds out. I am very lucky to currently have few residual symptoms and only suffer badly when relapsing, and I am really aware to stay as active as possible. Not only is this good for my health, but amazing for my mental health too. I am one to get really low at times, and that was before I was diagnosed! If you can, I would really recommend getting out and exercising, at times it’s the only thing that keeps me sane!
I know this sounds really cliche, but live for today – don’t panic about the future as you have absolutely no control over it! When your future comes, you will look back and wonder why you worried so much! If today, you are up and walking then take advantage of it – you have no idea if/when things may change.
It sounds like you have a really exciting future, take your mind off things and crack on with planning your wedding or studying, and stay optimistic!!!
I believe things happen for a reason, and it’s how you deal with things that will get you through – when life throws you lemons, and all that!!
I want more than anything to have a ‘normal’ life too and I think we are all pretty terrified of our futures, so you’re no way on your own!!

6 years ago

hi again and hi alexey yes do work out you will feel so good with your self and try not to dwel on things. and alexey i thought the same way about meeting some one and dating trust me it will happen and you will think back as well lol it happened to me she left when she found out i had ms 4 years ago and now i have met some one and she has ms as well so funny when we walk lol hope this all helps.

6 years ago

Hey Jessie!

I completely understand what you’re feeling. My husband works out of town on the weekends and I’ve been known to start those thoughts too! I’ve found it easier to find a hobbby that I love to give me something to do and work for that I can be proud of and will also keep me concentrating on something productive. Is there a group you can join on Thursdays? I’m not talking self help group, I’m talking hobby group. Like a book club, or art lessons, music lessons, cooking lesson, etc. Something that you can socialize with other people and enjoy the evening? I am constantly having to remind myself that everyone has the same uncertainty in life. I just have to accept that future plans are uncertain for everyone, and having MS has just made me realize how important today is. I have also recently found a song that I have recently made my life theme song and it really helps. Whenever I start to have negative thoughts, I just put this song on and I can’t help it to smile and start dancing around the house. Ha ha.. I know, nice visual!

It’s Jason Mraz, “Living in the Moment.”
“I will not waste my days Making up all kinds of ways To worry about all the things That will not happen to me. So I just let go of what I know I don’t know And I know I’ll only do this by Living in the Moment Living our life Easy and breezy With peace in my mind With peace in my heart Peace in my soul…”

6 years ago

On the subject of hobbies, I’ve made the decision that I WILL learn to play the guitar 🙂 I may not be much good, but I will at least have tried 🙂

6 years ago

Sounds as if you need a bit of solid support from someone medical (MS nurse I’m thinking). I have found it really helps to have someone qualified tell me what’s going on with my MS so I can put it ‘in a box’. These folk are truthful, they don’t dish out false hope but they give you a context for your own feelings.If you’re told you’re doing well and that this is a good omen for the future (which it sounds as if you are!)by someone who has seen hundreds of MS cases, you really should believe it. Remember, there is NO INEVITABLE COURSE – everyone is different. I also think that it’s good if you can find someone other than nearest and dearest to offload to – but I know this isn’t easy. I go to the MS nurse occasionally and the physio (often) and I am always reassured. They’ve seen it all and they know when fears are truly irrational. Lots of luck with this.

6 years ago

Hi Jessie
I’ve just had a spontaneous night out with a friend – started with a free glass of wine, followed by dinner and a cocktail! This morning I had a smear test : ( You have so much to look forward to so your 5 hours alone should be concentrating on those! we don’t know what’s going to happen, and you can spend time worrying what could happen but that may not help. If you know Thursdays are your down days, try and fill them with something. I’ve had a crap couple of weeks at work and I like coming home to doing my gardening and growing flowers and veg! Take care. Xxx

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