4 years ago
Things that make me me

The worst thing about having MS is being expected to sacrifice things that make you happy to make up for all the work you missed when you weren’t feeling too good. I am fed up with giving up the things that make me me, in order to do work which will caused me to be stressed and feel more ill. So I’ve stopped. I am doing the things that make me me and as a result I am probably not going to get my degree. Well, you can’t have everything can you!

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Quite a lot of grammatical errors and typos up there. I blame the fact I am on my phone

KirstyScotland8, change the word “sacrifice” and use the word “adapt” instead.
It is important to try and avoid stress, but we can still have ambitions. We just might need to change the way that we fulfil those ambitions.

Kirsty, I see from yr profile your 22. Don’t despair, let me tell you my story.
I was dx’d in the 90’s, i had just started a degree as a mature student. Was in my 30’s, with 2 small kids. After the first year, the doc said: “Those tests? well you’ve got MS”……
Being a stubborn bugger, I thought, I’ve started so I’ll finish…
And i DID. 2:2 in Combined Studies.
It was hard, I struggled. Stress made it worse….the 2nd year, I thought I’d end up a wheelchair. But the SU got me to talk to a student who was wheelchair bound and drove a flash (adapted) car. Totally impressed, I felt encouaraged to carry on. Family and friends helped with family and “real” life.
So don’t feel bad about giving up. My point is, it is possible to get a degree with MS. Think about going back as a mature student. You have years ahead and I’m sure you will succeed at whatever you do!!!!! you go girl!

I am actually only 21, but Shift.ms decided to age me up. I am 22 in April though, but I bet then it will say I am 23. I just feel like I have been in education since I was 5 and it’s too hard now and I want to just do fun things. Everyone else is doing fun things AND a degree. “It’s, like, totally unfair, like.” 😛

Sounds as though there’s a lot going on with your studies. As a tutor in my former life, I would say it’s maybe time to get some support from your university. Getting behind (or potentially getting behind) with studies is a bit like getting into debt – the sooner you realise there’s a problem and get help, the quicker/better the resolution. Talking out your frustrations with a student counsellor might move you on faster than sitting alone and fretting about everything.

I really understand how you’re feeling, last year I took on a part-time MSc alongside my full-time job and had quite a few “why did I do this?” moments! I would definitely suggest you find out what support your uni can offer you, there are systems in place to help with just this scenario and if they know you’re struggling they should offer you extra time and support- they don’t want you to drop out or make yourself ill and unhappy either. It sounds like you need to give yourself some time to adjust and deal with what’s going on and how you can balance your studies with the rest of your life- learning to pace myself was the hardest part of the whole process for me- 5.5 years later I’m still learning! Good luck! xx

Yeah I already have all the help and I have already spoken to all the people. They are really great to be honest. I am just fed up of spending the times I am well on uni work. Bored now. I want fun! I have decided failure is okay because life is too short and I don’t care! Wooo! Kinda liberating really.

@kirstyscotland8, you need to think long and hard about this decision. Sometimes, fun isn’t all it’s cracked up to be!
But, just think what fun you can have once you have a degree as the basis, and springboard, for the rest of your life.
Beware, decide in haste, repent at leisure.

Sadly, @stumbler is so right. Getting employment is no picnic for anyone these days. Harder with a chronic condition. Even more so if you’re seen to have dropped out. Being hard up is bad enough as a student but at least everybody’s in the same boat – bit different when you’re on your own. UNLESS – you have a game plan? If you know there’s a job/opening you can walk into, then that’s a different matter. But is there?

You have to assess yourself, and only you know you. I couldn’t have done uni at your age, was much too immature (but that was ME!) But crazy as it sounds, I did it as a mature student, even with MS and a family.
Even then (late 90’s now) it never led to employment and health can be a stumbling block. MOSTLY its the attitude of employers!
But hey, I can look back and say…..I did it.!

I am just going to try as hard as I can, whilst still having fun. Before I just was like fun? What’s fun? And it was soul destroying. I know if I allow myself to do fun things I am not “doing my best” but I am past caring now. I need to be nicer to myself. If I fail I might try and become a sign language interpreter. 🙂

You do need a degree to be a sign language interpreter. Damn. Oh well, I will deal with it as it comes! 🙂 No more stressing about the future. I am banned. 🙂 x

Just find the right balance to allow you to achieve your ambitions.

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