Hi all! I’m new here and wanted to share something that’s been on my mind, that might be seen as an unusual situation, and get some opinions.
Over the last 13 months I’ve got to know a pretty great woman online, through a volunteer project I’m part of, along with people all over the world. She’s in the US and I’m in the UK.
We’ve been very close for a while and are very much into each other, though we’ve only been open about how we feel for the last month or so.
I was diagnosed with MS in 2014, and have been relapse free since around October of that year. My most recent MRI showed no changes in just over a year, and for the most part it’s been very manageable. I work full time, have an EDSS of 1.5 (down from 2.0 in 2014) and don’t suffer from fatigue. I have some residual and day to day symptoms that I’d describe as somewhere between annoying and somewhat unpleasant.
I’m one of those people that doesn’t tell many people or talk about it much – my employer and a number of close friends I’ve known for years are unaware I have MS.
But within this last month I’ve thought a lot about telling her, given that we both want to take things beyond where we are now, but I’m struggling with how and when. She’s a wonderfully kind and caring person, but at the same time works a pretty stressful job with long hours, and it’s obviously a lot for someone to process and take on, and it can of course be something not everyone feels like they’re able to do for one reason or another.
My thoughts also flicker between worrying that I’ve waited too long to say anything, and wondering if I should wait until we’ve spent some time together in person before bringing it up. Of course there’s never 100% guarantee that this will translate to things working out in “real life,” but I don’t know whether this is a valid reason for delaying or if I’m contemplating it as an excuse to avoid having the conversation.
As someone that’s not in the habit of talking about my MS, as well as having been single for a while, I’m really just looking for some guidance.
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