All I want to do at the moment is to scream, not at anyone or anything but just for a…release. I wanted to post this on the ms society forums as I don’t want to change peoples opinions on here of me but registering on their website isn’t as straigforward as it should be, I could find out how to do it but I can’t be bothered.
My MS is really taking the proverbial at the moment, there aren’t any new symptoms, nothing obvious anyway, everything is REALLY difficult. Trying to navigate through the maze that is social services is frustrating, my extra difficulties are simply confounding that fact.
Here’s the real kicker, when I get frustrated at life, my situation, the fact I had to call an ambulance out tree times in three consecutive days to pick me off the floor and the fact I have this annoying habit of peeing myself in bed, my head wants to stop everything. Literally stop everything, you know, kill myself but I won’t. I’m too bloody rational for doing the proverbial deed as it were, no my head is quite content to pump my brain full of chemicals to make me feel rubbish and within a half hour I’m back to feeling normal again. I get fed up of the guilt trips my brain lays on me for doing or not doing various things.
All I really want is to fall in love with a special lady and start a family with her, something that my MS won’t be able to interfere with.
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