I wanted to share some thoughts, and get maybe some opinions on something that has been lately on my mind.
I am 28 (almost 29), and have been in my latest relationship for about a year now. My partner is very supportive, and kind-hearted, and has been helping me with a great deal of things.
In general I would say I have been happy with the relationship even with him having flaws (don’t we all!).
However, I recently started feeling that one of his flaws has began gaining more and more power over all of his good traits:
He doesn’t care at all about his health.
What this means is that he smokes a lot, and eats very unhealthily. So far I have always tried to encourage him to live healthier, but to no avail.
One issue that this kind of behaviour has been causing is that he gets sick all the time, and what happens is that I immediately get sick too. As someone with MS you can imagine why this is quite upsetting to me.
I have talked to him a lot about this, and he seems to understand that staying healthy is important for me, however he completely refuses to see the connection to his behaviour. He says things like ‘you can’t force me to quit smoking if I don’t want to’ and he keeps eating carelessly, often offering me unhealthy food, even if I have explained to him that my priority is to maintain a healthy diet. He claims that I can’t prove that he is the one who is getting me sick, and that ‘I can’t live in a bubble’.
So, all in all, while he is a very nice and supportive boyfriend, his sort of careless approach to life, has started making me having several thoughts about how to handle the situation and the relationship.
Has anyone had any similar experiences with partners? I know it’s hard for people to tailor to our MS needs completely, but I can’t help but feel that all the love and support he is giving me are starting to become overshadowed by this behaviour. Am I being extreme/controlling with wanting him to stop these behaviours and try to be more healthy?
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