Sometimes I’ve felt as though Multiple Sclerosis has taken over every part of my life. Whether it be dropping things constantly (no grip in left hand), extreme nerve pain, blinding headaches, crippling fatigue or sitting on the loo needing a wee and it taking an age to go. I could go on but it’s boring 😉 The last week my prospective has completely changed. My twin sister is pregnant with twins. She has Lupus and Addison’s disease so is a high risk pregnancy. It’s a miracle she is pregnant anyway as she had early onset menopause from her illness. Then to discover she is pregnant with twins… was an even bigger blessing. She’s done so well up until a couple of weeks ago. There is a problem with the blood flow to the babies and twin two is not growing as much as he/she should. They decided to scan her every week and make a decision on a week by week basis. Then this week she developed pre-eclampsia and with her health conditions this is even more worrying. She is currently in the Consultant Led induction room. Anna and the twins are literally my world. Anna helped me survive a childhood with neglect and every kind of abuse you can imagine. I wouldn’t be here without her love and support and she would probably say the same of me, I hope. So I feel pretty helpless. The babies are 28weeks old so stand a good chance of survival. I lost a baby relatively early in a pregnancy. Don’t even want to think about the risks with these two. When I see on TV the horrendous actions that led to innocent people being killed… it makes me realise none of us have control. Control is just an illusion. I still have all of my symptoms but I realise that there is way bigger stuff at risk every day. I still recon that people who suffer with MS are exceptionally brave… living with unknown disease course, when the next bodily function will be affected. But hey, I’ve survived 100% of my bad days so that’s pretty good odds so far. All I can want in the world right now is for my sister and her babies to survive and have many more days (healthy ones) than I’ve had.
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