Anonymous 15/09/14
Last reply 3 years ago
Not Dead Yet – Young (ish) MSers and Sex

Are my feelings on this something to be ashamed of, am I somehow wrong or expecting too much….?

I am 33, I’ve always had a very very high sex drive (and make no apologies), I’ve never been the sleeping around type actually the opposite, I have always just wanted one girl to love an be with. Further to all that I suppose I have never been really confident or have found it easy to approach girls, my confidence has always begun after I know a girl is interested in me and then that confidence increases exponentially once we start talking ‘the bedroom’. I love em and I want em but I’m scared to talk to em and once that’s all out of the way be sure I know what to do with em.

I was engaged, in love, I thought she was too, I got MS, she left me in really horrible circumstances (long story) and so where does that leave me? When you were already shy do you think MS is the thing to boost your confidence and ability to meet or attract members of the opposite sex? “Hey how you doing, well I’m just doing my own thing, I don’t like drinking or going out much, I pretty shy and I have ADD and MS but I’m funny and I like sex a lot….”. Yeah, good luck. I don’t particularly like or actually let me rephrase, I hate anything like going out to the city clubs or that scene so there’s another closed door. Online dating? Pfffft! Please that is the joke of all jokes.

So what the **** am I supposed to do??? Am I the only person between 25-40 say, who just happens to have MS who still wants and need to have sex anymore? And forget the MS part for a moment, what am I supposed to do full stop!? If you are telling me this is it then I’m going to finish myself off now because quite honestly all the other **** I have had to deal with in life up to this point has been ******* but I have managed all of it pretty well I think. But no more sex? Not worth carrying on its that simple.

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Anonymous
3 years ago

The outrageously heavy response to this has given me my answer and just about all I need to know.

Even someone having a go at me for being real would have shown me someone has passion whether they agree with me or not. Even someone inappropriately offended would’ve been a bone to the dog. I hate life right now and only clouds on the horizon.

ho hum


DJDsouza
3 years ago

MS is a secondary issue to what you really want. In my opinion you can still meet the right lady regardless of the MS or not, is just that bit harder πŸ˜‰


DJDsouza
3 years ago

pardon the pun πŸ˜‰


Anonymous
3 years ago

You are absolutely correct at the first and absolutely incorrect at the last. But balance is key.

Harder is not my friend. It was already hard (pun intended:)) and then everything got harder and now that has become hardest.


judy-gy
3 years ago

I had typed an answer so many times. I am however nearly dead!

I was involved in some research recently, they asked hundreds of questions, then – can I still orgasm? can I make my partner orgasm? and do I still get lubricated? I did write on the form that there was the small issue of the fact that I am not swinging from the rafters anymore. However that could obviously be because I am not young. I am going to nudge a friend of mine who is on here, to write an answer, as I have seen him write well on this issue.

I think if you wrote a small ad, describing yourself as you do, there would be a queue round the block. Loves sex and loves the person ore the mare he gets to know them and is loyal!

Jx


judy-gy
3 years ago

plus the time frame for us in the uk that your post has veen viable – is our pm, so maybe when people get over their pm stuff. Jxx


Anonymous
3 years ago

Thanks heaps Judy πŸ™‚ I really appreciate your message. You sum me up to a tee “Wants love, loves sex, loves more sex the more he loves and loyal till the end”. haha, that’s not funny its actually 100% true.


judy-gy
3 years ago

Im forming a queue, but 1. I’m nearly dead and 2. I’m a bit far away for the queue to reach you. Jx


Anonymous
3 years ago

Who says I can’t reach the queue? πŸ™‚


jonnydrama
3 years ago

I dunno if this is considered particularly ‘lucky’ in that my fiancee still married me when I had my dx and still wanted kids with me. I had more reservations than she did (she had none) but she doesn’t see it as anything of a stumbling block or thing to run from, we love each other. You can find the same, perhaps a bit more difficult as you know you’ve got it from the start whereas I found out a ways into my relationship


katfight
3 years ago

@billybonza I’m just in from work and logged on, I read your post and it made me laugh. Where u intending it to be funny, if not I apologise πŸ™‚

Anyway I think everyone of us who are singletons are in the same boat, what do we do, do we just give up on finding someone to share life with? My ex left me after the diagnosis and i struggle to deal with it everyday, I like ur self don’t do clubs and wud never do online dating. So I guess it’s just sit back and see, what will be will be i guess. Chin up x


msmyinitials
3 years ago

I agree with you Life just Sucks sometimes but I think there are other issues motivating your down. Pretty >>>>y to lose your fiancee when you are told that your whole life has turned left when you were turning right. You have other things in your que that were setting up and her walking out wasn’t one of them. It is horrible to loose someone you love any way it happens, but when you loose her to your having no choice in having a disease that was scary enough with her, much less without her, makes it all the worse.
This does not mean that all of us women, MSer over the pond, or over the hill are as stupid as to make a decision based on health. There are a lot of girls out there who really just don’t care, unless your a whiney, chronic, kinda of guy, which I don’t think you are. So realize that you have to work through your breakup first then let the stallion out!


Anonymous
3 years ago

to jonnydama:

So did I. I am happy for you, genuinely. It’s just my ex-fiance was still talking about children and us moving back to the country together (which I was actively working towards and completed I might add, alone) right up until the moment that she was telling me that our entire relationship from the moment we met again (we knew each other from the distant past) was a trick by her to bring me in and then break my heart for “Revenge” and that was it, done over no more. Yes this sound like the very quick wrap up of a really bad horror story I know, it sounds ridiculous, I still can’t ****** believe it. What a *****, sorry but just thinking about it is horrible.

Anyhow I wish my story was your story and it could’ve and should’ve been, but it isn’t. I believe a degree of the problem is no matter what we believe consciously or what our stated position is, the majority of women at approx my age group still have that natural underlying drive and instinct I suppose is the only way I can think to put it, instinct to procreate. In the back of the mind “kids, kids, kids, kids…”. Not all but the majority. And if this is even remotely true then I can find it easy to understand that I would not then be desirable. Damaged goods if you will.


grahamjk
3 years ago

@billybonza I can understand how you feel I’m 43 and now single although not the same reasons (My wife passed away in January, I was diagnosed in april). I too hate pubs and clubs so finding someone else will be difficult but you have to have faith that someone will come into your life and want what you want, After all the one thing we all want is someone to love and love us back. Chin up mate.


Anonymous
3 years ago

Dont worry I’m a one man rodeo πŸ™‚


msmyinitials
3 years ago

You are not damaged goods, there are nothing our there saying that our children will have MS just because we do. I have a 27 year old son and he has passed my dx time. Never damaged only better for the learning and knowledge that you have.


Anonymous
3 years ago

to catfight:

you can take it funny if you like that’s cool with me. If you heard and saw me say it in real life you would laugh even though it’s kind of both. I’m being equally serious as I am applying my standard dry wit, very dry. But I can laugh about it and ‘cry’ (ie lose my sh**). I haven’t cried since 79′ and I was born in 81′.


Anonymous
3 years ago

For the record here, when I say high sex drive don’t let me underestimate that for you. Regularity? Think your biggest number and then triple it. For any girl to be with me after a while it must be difficult, I know that and I try to stay conscious of it. But when the scales tip as they inevitably seem to do, then refusal = rejection and rejection = bye bye relationship.


katfight
3 years ago

@billybonanza I am loving your dry wit and i think being able to make people laugh is a good start, not everyone will understand it tho..

Your ex sounds like a complete c.u next Tuesday, obviously you will b much better without her!

Just for the record, Im not a very funny person, more boring and moody hahaha..


Anonymous
3 years ago

Now you’re making me laugh πŸ™‚ For real. Mainly the “not everyone will understand tho”, yeah no ****, you could say that, I get that a bit, just day to day, **** knows why? Lots of misunderstandings everywhere I go….


Anonymous
3 years ago

I just had one nice, albeit soft thought or memory in all of this. The one thing that really had me hooked on my ex, the thing that had me swooning the most, was her smell. I swear I just couldn’t get passed it. Catnip she was. It wasn’t any perfume, not the soap or the shampoo, not make up or anything like that, it was just her, just her skin and whatever makes her her. I loved it. When I would cuddle with her and be breathing her smell in as I went to sleep I have never been happier even if it was just that little bit that I got. That’s something nice I forgot and im glad to remember. Good place to leave it and go put some serious thinking into plans to get laid.


katfight
3 years ago

@billybonanza sometimes these things are nice memories to keep hold of, it’s the small things I guess.. now good luck getting laid.. I’m sure in aus its early morning so now u got all day to put ur plans into gear πŸ™‚ good luck x


Anonymous
3 years ago

I got no plans im going to bed. The humor again


katfight
3 years ago

@billybonanza probably best to get ur head down for a while. U have a world of females to conquer once u wake, dream well x


sunnydaylover
3 years ago

Hey, my friends and I all have a bit laugh and say that sex is like chocolate, the more you have the more you want, the less you have the less you want…..at the moment, its lots of chocolate and no sex…something wrong there, lol…You will meet someone one day that will blow you of your feet.It will all fall into place, eventually.x


Anonymous
3 years ago

Hopefully before I’m nothing but a rolling erection in a wheelchair cos that will be better than hell no doubt πŸ™


ChrisM
3 years ago

I will declare that I am the friend Judy referred to, although it think she might have bigged me up somewhat!

MS is a selfish beggar, but it’s a reality that needs to be accepted (obviously). Put it this way – the same methods of connecting are still open to you. Clubs aren’t great, as they are visual places, and if someone can’t get over the wheelchair or sticks or whatever, they’re a non-starter.

I understand the dislike of online dating, but I can tell you, it works! If you have an online presence it allows someone to get to know you – the real you – and it’s far less superficial than it might seem. I don’t mean the likes of match.com (they’ll bleed you dry) but free sites like okcupid.com are fun and allow you to express yourself a bit.

If all you want is to get laid, my best friend (an Aussie) would say go to a hooker. She still doesn’t understand why I haven’t.

I wanted a relationship. Since being diagnosed 7 years ago, I’ve has about half a dozen, lasting from 6 months to two years. What I’ve made clear is that I don’t want a carer (I employ those) I want someone for ME, who likes me for me. Most can’t hack it. They think they can but the reality is too much ; that’s brilliant, as who wants to be with someone who can’t cope?

There are a lot of people out there who are fed up with arrogant dicks who don’t know how to treat them.

I think that’s probably enough (or too much, even). If anyone wants to ask more, words are free and I’ve got way too many of them, so feel free to ask.


judy-gy
3 years ago

Chris, if all you want is to get laid, I will travel down to you. Jx


Anonymous
3 years ago

Chris you sound like a bloody champ. Let me get my thinking head on and I’ll reply more substantially.


Anonymous
3 years ago

Hi Chris,

thanks for the message mate, doesn’t sound like Judy has talked you up at all to me, just about right.

Just to clarify, I have no stick or wheels as yet, amazingly! For PPMS like me and with the MRI results and symptoms I have had anyone would expect that I would be in that position but for reasons unknown, I’m not! there are some blessings.

Second point, I have tried online dating of course, albeit briefly, and I just didn’t find the results as you refer to them. I felt weird about it to start, got over that, then realised the whole thing was just a time-waster and then pissed it off. That was what i got out of it.

Ahh see but that is just it, just like you a hooker and a quick **** is not what I’m about or after. I may sound ‘different’ and maybe I am, but truth is underneath I’m just a softie. I want a relationship too, I want someone who I can just spoil and take care of. I don’t want or need a carer either, as you say, I’ll pay for that like I would any service. I want someone who I can just love lots and in turn, then have lots and lots and lots of sex with. I’m an animal yes, a cuddly one.


Anonymous
3 years ago

PS. Just for your amusement, do you know how quickly I would be broke if I went the option of paying for sex? By the time I was leaving the place, I’d be opening my wallet and turning around and walking right back in again. Not viable. I’d have a $1200 a day sex habit just at a guess. πŸ™‚


kitty
3 years ago

Hi Billybonza, Im 40 and I can relate to you and like your humor about the whole thing. I can also relate to Sunnydaylover lol.

I feel the same, I dont really go out much, I have a small group of friends who are married, married with kids or divorced with kids. Ive never felt comfortable with online dating, feel like its against the grain and the few times Ive tried, it has been a disaster. Im over the club scene etc.
After I was diagnosed its been difficul as I dont want to hide the fact that I have RRMS but I dont feel I should disclose it instantly either. If you tell someone too early – you run the risk of scaring them off and too late – it may back fire….so I guess we are screwed either way… but my best bet is about 3rd date in. If I get that far as Im not really dating either and men and women these days arent what they use to be…they have no morals, courtesy, respect etc anymore…

I really miss the tenderness and affection of a partner and of course the SEX lol… and I guess if Im not getting it then I dont really miss it (applies to sex only) but I also think this depends on if Im depressed or not and how the rest of my life is going as a whole.

Im probably not the best person to talk to about this at the moment, as Im a bitter. I think there was a guy interested in me at work and someone (out of the few that knew) may have told him I have a condition and all of a sudden hes changed towards me… Makes me real mad…:-(

I say Ive given up on men but Im secretly hoping I will someone how find someone to be with and not progress with my MS and somewhat live happily ever after…

Kitty


Anonymous
3 years ago

Hi Kitty,

“…. men and women these days arent what they use to be…they have no morals, courtesy, respect etc anymore…

I really miss the tenderness and affection of a partner and of course the SEX lol”

I could not have said it better myself. And what you went on to say applies equally. I’m bitter too, oh you better believe it. But I’m also the eternal (romantic) optimist. We can’t have all turned so, selfish, that’s the only adjective I’ve got, selfish. Everyone looks at what they can receive rather than what we can give each other. I just got a lot to give πŸ™‚

You also touched on a big obstacle of mine. The work scenario you encountered. I don’t deal with ‘rejection’ well, I never have. I hurts me, perhaps disproportionate to the situation sometimes, maybe I just need thicker skin, but it takes me a long time to process emotional rejection. That’s just me. And so the knowledge that the situation you described is undoubtedly something that will come up for me more than once as I move forward is another factor which dissuades me further.

Get out there people, slu* it up a bit, for me, for yourselves, for the whole dam species I implore you all….. just think SEX!


reddivine
3 years ago

billybonza, I see your an aussie, let me reassure you sex is not for JUST the “normals”. Sex and MS….perfectly possible, desirable and happening, whether you are 23, 33, 43 0r 53…
read some of these posts and you’ll see the subject cropping up. Some folks have found really supportive partners. Some had really shitty break ups.

For the record: internet dating can work! Met my partner online and we are together 3 years on.
BE PATIENT. Maybe not tell em straight off “I have MS” but wait untill you are ready.

If you are just after mind blowing sex, well you may miss the kind, beautifull people that ARE there. You’ll find love, probly when you aint looking!


Anonymous
3 years ago

Alas I know you are correct. Patience. I would have never considered myself very patient. And that’s exactly what I need to be applying in such circumstances. There’s something for me to concentrate on. Ha there’s another joke, I don’t concentrate well either.

I don’t tell anyone I have MS straight off the bat, what do you think I’m crazy?


ChrisM
3 years ago

@BillyBonza I should have clarified also that dating sites haven’t worked for me, but online communities that have real life meets can work really well.

If you’re not wheely or visibly affected that’s brilliant. You can get to know a girl without needing to tell her straight off.

The thing is, life is a lottery. Smart girls understand that. They also see the real you.

My last ex ‘got if’ but (ironically) had trouble dealing with me being friends with my ex-wife. My current gf seems not to have that issue.

I tell all my girlfriends that there are important people in my life that I won’t give up: my best friend, my ex-wife and my sons will always be important to me, and my relations with them are non-negotiable. Beyond that, I am all hers, I am loyal and monogamous.

Life is as good as you make it.


Anonymous
3 years ago

Don’t mind this smart***** comment its just that I’m a smart**** so I can’t help it –

If only life was a lottery as good as I could make it.

This is actually a common contradiction I come across in life. I don’t believe everything is within my control, that is just logically and practically impossible to me. Of course I’m not in complete control otherwise…..

But at the same time in some circumstances, if I can quote myself, “…there is no ‘the way it is’, the way it is, is how I say it is, period.”

Both are true I just haven’t worked out how that is the case. I think the former applies when we’re talking exclusively about interacting with other people and the latter only applies when when I’m dealing with the world or life as a collective. Hmmmm headache material.


kitty
3 years ago

Billybonza – I wish I could slu.t it up a bit, Ive tried but I guess its not in me…Im selfless in more ways than one and I attract nothing but ass..holes, psychos and impotence – no joke just ask my friends…(sometimes I get the quinella and other times I get the trifecta. I get off better on my own but I cant give myself cuddles and kisses now can I. …Im happy to start off as friends and see where it leads but as long as the person isnt in just for sex… I can get that…I need MORE!
I want to be needed, loved and supported etc etc and will more than reciprocate.
Life experience and taught me the hard way and made me be a little less selfless but Im still pathetic.

We are in control of our attitude towards everything but there are so many factors to take into account i.e. emotional stated. I dont eel we are in total control of anything. Everything in life is circumstantial… that one work covers it all.

Sorry Im ranting….Im pretty down at the moment…. Im not even sure Im using this site correctly..


Anonymous
3 years ago

I don’t think you’re pathetic, not in the slightest. Listen to my ****, FFS, some might class that as pathetic but I don’t give a ****.

I love a good rant too, be my guest. And as far as whether you’re using the site properly? Eh. Is there a proper way? You found me and we’re talking so you’ve done something right πŸ™‚

I always feels to me just they way you say, its not just about sex, I need more, I need everything. Actually, until you have those deeper feelings for someone sex is average but once you do have such feelings its no coincidence that the physical side of things just gets better and better. Always has for me. As above β€œWants love, loves sex, loves more sex the more he loves……”.

Sex is nothing more than the physical expression of the emotion and feeling we call love. That’s why when you’re in love sex is good and when you’re not in love sex is average. Because its the act without the emotion.


stumbler
3 years ago

@kitty , yes you are using this site properly. There are a couple of house rules, but otherwise, it is an informal place for MSers, and people connected with MS, to exchange views and experiences.

But, I have been following this thread and appreciate how difficult this is for people like yourself and @BillyBonza, amongst others.

Yes, we all want to feel loved and in love.

Whilst companionship is high up on your agendas, is it not possible to follow another interest in your life? There you would have the opportunity to meet others, who have a common interest with you.

It just seems a nicer way to meet genuine people than the clubbing or dating site scenarios.


kitty
3 years ago

Billybonza – Awh thanks for understanding…
Excuse my typos and errors etc I think Im over tired.

Stumbler – Do you know how hard it is to make new friends as you get older, people think youre needy etc when you try suggesting meeting up on a regular basis because the thing is many already have existing social groups or circle of friends and arent too keen on new comers…
Not just that in my case Ive gone from full time work to part time work…thanks to my MS and Ive ended unhealthy relationships and friendships (mind you after they totally consumed me) but still I soldier on and managed to make 1 or 2 new friendships and rekindled and old one…

With my new job, its hard because I feel I cant be overly social as I need to make time for rest and recovery and I dont want to have to justify why I cant make an invite etc…as I dont want to disclose or harp on about my MS and this in turn aggravates me as I dont want to admit it has control of my life but to an extent it does. I have to make allowances and adjustments for it or I will pay the price…. grrrr

People might say, accept it, embrace it bla bla, Well HELL no I wont,… I might have MS but it doesnt have me and I dont think its something to embrace etc…I make the most of bad situation by continuing to get up and try not to let it get the better of me but I cant say Im not mad.. Im angry, there I said it… I dont know what we all did to bring this on ourselves… its not like i.e its not like we have lung cancer due too smoking too much or ruined our liver due to alcoholism….
In saying that I know that anger is a negative emotion that is best let go of but its just one of the emotions I feel when I feel like Im getting no where no matter what I do… (having a bad day)…

Sorry, I best go to bed before I depress someone if I havent already done so..


stumbler
3 years ago

@kitty , It’s not being depressive, it’s being philosophical.

MS doesn’t so much control our lives, but it does seem to set challenges for us. But, we’re not into giving up.

I’m just suggesting the the clubbing scene and dating websites present their own challenges. Follow an interest, join a local club and meet like-minded people. Let dating become a secondary interest as you follow an interest for which you may have a passion and see what transpires…..


kitty
3 years ago

@stumbler – yes I understand where your coming from and appreciate it… its just easier said than done, well at least for me.

Clubs, dating sites etc arent a primary interest to me but wanting to find a good partner is..it doesnt help that I live alone and not too close to family and dont want to be a burden to friends.

Anyways maybe I can improve my head space and see where that takes me.. Night..


Anonymous
3 years ago

Pathetic my ****! Have a listen to you Kitty, you breathe fire my friend I can feel the heat from here. You obviously have much confidence and conviction in your own life and what is and isn’t acceptable to you and let me tell you as someone else who holds those same traits, there ain’t nothing sexier.

Your not depressing anyone Kitty, if you’re mad, be mad! You know, really more or less I agree with everything you say. If not agree I suppose a better way of putting it is I can totally relate. Your feelings are shared by me to a large extent and I’m sure others. Rather than depressing people, you are more probably going to one day provide something for someone else to read which strikes a cord with them and gives them the knowledge they are not alone in their feelings and gives them that small boost they need to start talking about all the **** that goes along with this ****.

You sound like a cool chick to me Kitty. I feel where ya coming from, I got ya back. πŸ™‚


Anonymous
3 years ago

PS The typos thing is MS + tired. My writing and speech has gone down hill badly, very frustrating. You should see me trying to type a text message tired these days. Worse than if I was drunk


Anonymous
3 years ago

Anger is a necessary emotion to galvanize us against traumatic situations (emotional and sometimes physical) and to induce hope strangely enough, mind over matter. It’s the most powerful and raw emotion we have to see us through adversity. Harnessing it in the right way instead of blind rage is the trick though. That’s make or break. There is a reason why we feel ‘angry’ at times in our lives, we wouldn’t survive without it.


druid
3 years ago

Only just caught this! My experience is a bit odd but….
I had optic nuritus, lost my job. (total other story) then my ex booted me, took me back and then booted me again fast forward a year Met my wife! 19 years younger than me fell head over heels and here we are 10 years on. I got diagnosed about march this year Optic Nuritus again! MRI, L.P. etc and BINGO MS! yay me.
Wife cares not a jot, sex is most deffo OK but, i am not physically affected.

Point I am trying to make is don’t give up:-
I was sat at home licking my wounds and went out for a coffee, came home with a 21 year old! not bad for an old guy. Still spent a long time waiting for the joke – turns out no joke, she wanted me. Took a while for ME to understand that i was ok(now I know I was suffering the mental aspects of MS) and slowly she helped me rebuild myself after my divorce.
So at the mo’ life is ok. Its not like i have some kind of life altering illness……… Oh wait a second! lol
Don’t do anything stupid and relax! it will come for you!(is it safe to use sentences like that one?)
Hope you pull yourself out of the slump – hope you get laid, mostly i hope you will be happy!

Edit to add – took me over an hour to write this as i can’t type well or put thought in writing. Looks like your ok there!


Anonymous
3 years ago

Safe as houses. Yes and no, I was always good at writing, now I’m not so good. I just enjoy the days when I have good flow and despise the ones where I can’t remember or draw on the simplest words or names or so on. I make my own words up a lot these days when I’m speaking, like hybrid words. It’s easier when I write of course because I have opportunity to read and reread.

Thanks for you post. With any luck i’ll be speaking just a positively as you in no time flat. I can think of the perfect thing to get me started and give me a little bit of the sparkle back…..


kitty
3 years ago

@BillyBonza – Hi and sorry for the late reply…
Thank you so much for your kindness and support…I really needed it …I cried when I read that lol…

You sound like a smart, worldly, funny all round good guy whos in touch with his emotions.


kitty
3 years ago

Druid – Great to hear, thanks for sharing.

I find in general that Women are often more accepting of a partner with any kind of issues (not just health) then men however, I’ll keep hoping…


Anonymous
3 years ago

To Kitty:

Thank you kitty that’s very nice of you to say and I’m really glad that I could manage to provide you that little something we all need from time to time to see us through. Being human is what they used to call it I think? He he I am funny.

There is no shame in pragmatism people. Nor is there in ‘negative’ emotions I might add. Think about it. You are a human being and you, me, we, are all born with the ability and in fact the necessity to generate and feel emotions. They then become consciousness when blended with our senses into a ‘perception’ and that in turn becomes reality. Do you seriously think that we were born with any one of those emotions that we do not fundamentally require? Do you think a feeling or emotion can be good or bad, black or white, hot or cold? Of course not emotions known not of our feeble human rationalizations. Denying any of our natural emotions or trying to always ‘think positive’ is idiotic quite frankly. Love and hate, just two sides of the same coin, they are best friends. There is a thin line as they say.


mermaidia11
3 years ago

Thanks for that post everyone. I’m glad that you all mirrored my various stages of relationship angst.

There’s mileage in finding kinfolk with the same worries – it’s a lonely place sometimes having MS.
It’s not so lonely knowing others feel the same – which is why it’s important for us to share our thoughts.
( However random …
See below lol)

My tuppence worth is that being understood is as important,and indeed intergral to; mind blowing sex; regardless of whether you have MS

I reckon Quality always wins over quantity, again regardless of any ailments..

I (and shakespeare – sonnet 116 – let not a meeting of minds admit impediments…)personally think that the sexiest organ in the body is the mind
.
The ole Magic and Sparkle may take our ability to run through fields of daffodils a la perfume ad, but nothing can take away our ability to bond and connect using our minds;

Love is a scientifically proven healer of much –
But predicaments endure
Where, how; who ?!
( theres a lot of charlatans out there)
Soo
Maybe single folk would benefit from a dating section here?

Miss Magic seeks Sir Sparkles ?!

Is this inappropriate ?
Apols in advance


andyc67
3 years ago

Back in 07 when a portly MS specialist broke the news of MS to me I was just 40yrs young , I got divorced from a loveless sexless marriage at 32, a whole 2 yrs it lasted, which was surprising as my sex drive WAS off the planet at that time.. Before marriage I was up n down like the assyrian empire, actually during the marriage too, just not with mrs frigid, and it wasn’t from the lack of trying with fridid I tell you.. luckily my job allowed me access into the wonderful world of the everyday housewife and single lady. Another story I think, but I was randy oh boy was I. .

Now back with MS specialist,as soon as I heard the words “You have MS” nothing changed I just carried on regardless, Dating sites were the best way for me to get my leg over as most girls just wanted an evening out, wine dine and bonk all night.. Had 1 steady girl from 09 till 2012 sex was awful 4 times in 3 years jeez I was debating quite a lot ….. whether or not to join the cistertian order up the road then, into my life came my saviour! I had known her in the late 80’s early 09’s and bumped into her by accident and have not looked back. I told her straight away about the monkey on my back that is MS and she just took it as read, it’s part of me and she loves me for me as I love and adore her.
So basically if someone can walk away from you because you have an affliction then do you really need them? And sex when I can get it up is still bloody brilliant , and with just one lady too. SO,
DONT GIVE UP HOPE EVER! even with the monkey strapped to your back.

Regards


jman
3 years ago

You might want to check out http://www.outsiders.org.uk/outsidersclub/

See resources..

Its pretty much open minded group that allows people to connect, learn about themselves, meet others and have a lot of fun:)

I’ve found the dating scene pretty much null all most of my teen and younger life. Major illness (Damn him to hell) got in the way! Despite and active mind and a lot of desire.

I found that those who are not squeamish or ‘conditioned’ by the soaps and media into thinking life must be perfect are much better partners πŸ™‚

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