Last reply 3 months ago
Newbie here – diagnosed this week – hi!

Hi all,

32yo UK guy here; diagnosed on Tuesday with RRMS – am ultimately relieved as I finally know what’s going on, and it’s not the big C (which they thought it might be!)

Don’t get me wrong, I’m under no illusions that this is a life-changer and can be utterly debilitating down the line.

However I’m generally a very optimistic and positive person in life. I refuse to live on the “what if…” side of things. I’m not going to worry about what I may or may not be in 10, 20, 30 years etc – I absolutely will not let this ruin my life.

So why am I here exactly? Well, to meet people and to help. I make life about helping others, even if it’s just to spin the negatives into positives where possible, or to offer support anywhere I can.

Am also interested in learning how people have helped their families, as my wife is struggling a bit so far (even tho I’m not!)

Always happy to chat, looking forward to getting to know people!

Have an awesome day
Matt

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sarah_irwin
3 months ago

Hi Matt,
I can totally relate to the relief you get upon diagnosis. For me it was relief that I wasnt imagining things and also relief I didnt have a brain tumour. 😮
As with any medical issue its always worse for family and friends as they cant control or fully undrrstand whats going on. I am sure your wife will start to worry less when she sees how you are handling it. Ive found Shift very supportive if Ive had any worries and the posts are very useful and sometimes very amusing.
Take care
Sarah


matt_baller
3 months ago

Thanks Sarah – and nice to meet you! Ditto on the tumour relief – I’ve had fairly focused pains in the rear right of my head on and off for years, but my right eye is weak so I kinda hoped it was that.

So yeah, it’s all good – I wanted an incentive to get fit after all…!

When were you diagnosed? How has it been so far? Hope you’re doing well!

Thanks for the lovely welcome
Matt


grandma
3 months ago

Hi Matt and welcome. The beast is no longer the life sentence it used to be so to put it bluntly, now is a’good’ time to be diagnosed with ms compared to 24 years ago when I was diagnosed though of course there is never a good time!

You need time to assimilate everything, take a deep breathe, sit back, relax (stress is no good for ms), so glad you found us early, I won’t go into everything we do on here, you will find out yourself in time, tell your wife not to worry, we have quite a lot of other halves on here and the most important thing for both of you is there is no such thing as a silly question with ms, and if we don’t know the answer ‘we know a man who does’ usually Stumbler, who you will meet quite soon.😍


janabananaaa
3 months ago

Hi Matt. I personally find this community really helpful ☺ @stumbler has an answer to any question 😉
I love your positive mind set. And keep it up. Show your wife not to worry too much even though worrying is a sign that she really cares which is nice too. I am sure she will be a good supporter once you both know more about ms. I personally think a positive mindset is a great start!
My mum is in denial unfortunately but on the other hand it makes it harder for her as she can’t be with me atm (she lives in germany and I moved to australia about 4 years ago after my first symptoms)
My partner and friends are really supportive too even though they don’t understand how I feel sometimes but that’s fine. At least you know there are others out there and they feel how you feel due to similar experiences.
Try to find your balance and avoid negativity and stress.
Take care and welcome ☺


matt_baller
3 months ago

Thank you! Lovely to meet you also. I’m sorry you’ve had to experience MS thorough tougher times, but it’s good to see that there are advancements in medical science which are at least (hopefully) helping you to manage your symptoms.

Thanks for your thoughts and I look forward to chatting with you more!

Hope it’s a great day,
Matt


matt_baller
3 months ago

Also thanks and hi to you Janabanana (great name) – I’ve not worked this site out yet in terms of quote-replying etc so apologies for missing your message while replying to Grandma.

Glad you’re getting plenty of support – I’m in two minds about telling people beyond my immediate inner circle, but I’ll see.

Have a great day,
Matt


edmontonalberta
3 months ago

@matt_baller

Check profiles – I do before responding to check out background.

Life is a journey & we all have the same destination – seriously! Tell your wife to relax – you are the person she married. Same likes / dislikes. Same sense of humor, etc…

Nothing has changed – you just hit a speed bump in life. As someone in their 60’s, there are a lot of speed bumps – trust me…

If you married “until death do you part”, enjoy the drive… 😉

Gord


stumbler
3 months ago

Hi @matt_baller and welcome. What can I say that hasn’t been said above already!

You have the right attitude to manage this condition, but you’re going to need to care for your wife. She’s suffering from MS too, by association. You are her security and that image has now been tarnished. So, reassure her, hug her, show her that you are still the same man she married. 😉


vixen
3 months ago

Hello @matt-baller, good to meet you. Yes, a positive spin will certianly be your best friend during this process. And you’re right, often there is relief upon diagnosis, given other possibilities. The world of MS research has been really heating up this past decade so that’s exciting. I guess you won’t have had the opportunity to have The DMD Talk with your neuro yet, if so, there’s lots of info about that on here and all the credible websites. My amazing husband has been fortunate, in that therapeutic support is built into his workplace and I’m sure he would say that’s been a real advantage since my diagnosis last year.

Anyways, good to welcome you, and keep up that brightness and positivity 🙂


matt_baller
3 months ago

Awesome thanks guys, and also for sharing – funnily enough it’s our 1yr wedding anniversary in two weeks so a nice poignant time to get away for a bit.

I’ll familiarise myself with the site a little more than start wading in! Looking forward to it.

Ta
Matt


rotherhamdave
3 months ago

I was in the same boat of thinking. Is it cancer? Is it a tumour?. I lost weight worrying n stressing for 6 months. It became RRMS and now it’s spms. Been at this stage for roughly 4 years.


doubleo7hud
3 months ago

Nice to meet thee matey also relate to your mindset “thank feck I’m not gonna be climbing in me nesting 🥫 tin just yet”. My missis and family were the ones it hit I’m not bothered 😂 just plodding on as normal. Way I see it kids are healthy and happy I’m taking one for the team jobs a good en.


wobbler
3 months ago

@matt_baller … Well, you are starting off the right way by being positive. Keep it going, it makes the game a whole lot easier to play.


grandma
3 months ago

By the way Matt didn’t think to say a few days ago I have the big C as well, so ms for 24 years and cancer for 7! That’s why I’m now on my own, the husband of 43 years having coped with the ms for 24 yrs just couldn’t cope with cancer as well, how dare I get breast cancer as well, he wasn’t putting up with that and when he reached 65 and retirement mr government took away his carers allowance, apparently you don’t need it when you’re retired! Work that one out, I am told to apply for attendance allowance but it’s only available to over 65s and as I’m only 62, so haven’t had a carer (or husband) for 18 months but still here, still fighting so there is light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to hope it’s not the lights of an oncoming train!😍


lightning87
3 months ago

Welcome!! I’m recently diagnosed (last week) with RRMS.

I also experienced relief after such a long wait for what I knew the conclusion was going to be anyway. Think my mind drove me nuts wondering ‘what else it could be’.

Although it’s not good news, it’s not bad news. Keep positive x

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