Last reply 2 months ago
Negative work colleges.

So I was fully diagnosed back in January and I’ve been up and down constantly, recently I had a really bad chest infection which just seemed to be making all my MS symptoms far worse and I went really down hill, I’ve been off work for nearly a month, and I’m the type of person who loves work and does so much overtime. So going from 60+ hrs a week to not being able to do any has really taken a toll on me. Now I’ve just found out people at my work place have been bitching and moaning that I’m off work when I appear to be fine, it’s all so frustrating and it’s making me not even want to go back, they know what I’m diagnosed with yet they continued to say things, now I work in disability and LD so you would think they show some compassion but they really don’t. It’s just taking a toll on me mentally and I’m in the verge of just handing my notice in, just at a loss on what to do with myself…any advise would be appreciated

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vixen
2 months ago

Hello @tyranasaurusrex, really sorry all of this is going on for you. This has been a rough year for you, what with being diagnosed and being ill. The good news is that we are nearly three-quarters through the year, so soon this will be the end of the horrible year.

Lots of people on Shift talk about how hard it is to convey to others what it feels like to be us. This is what’s happening with you at work, which sucks, like you don’t have enough on your plate. Are you in a union, or do you have an HR department who could help you? The trouble is, you can’t change other people. What you can do, is focus on yourself and minimise any potential for stress which, as we know, has a terrible effect on us MSers. The main thing though, is that you mustn’t hand your notice in. Those types of decisions are best made from a place of choice (I’m probably older than you by heaps, and am choosing to start cutting back on work as my imperative to earn has lessened).

Take a big, deep breath and put yourself first. Recover as best you can, give yourself lots of treats, this dark time will pass. Work slowly and steadily to get yourself back up to work speed, and accept all the help available. Stay strong, and know that there’s lots of support on here for you. X


edmontonalberta
2 months ago

@tyranasaurusbex

I have many friends; real friends who will step forward whenever I ask…

I point this out because co-workers are not your friends. They never have been; they never will be – they are working beside you to get a paycheck. Therefore always make your decisions with your best interests in mind!

Do you have benefits such as disability, dental, etc… that you give up if you quit your job? Are you able to find another job easily? Talk with your boyfriend – work on your decision together – come up with a plan that works best for you…

Good luck.


bmowe1
2 months ago

Hi Bex
I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time of things. You’re clearly a very determined person, and have thrown yourself into work (60+hours!!). Its really tough to then be ill and find yourself unable to do what you used to.
As Vixen has already said, you can’t change the opinions and view of others …. you can only focus on yourself (and to be honest with you, that’s all that’s important right now 😘).
Don’t make any rash decisions …. this illness will pass …. it will!

The thing about us MS’ers is that we often tend to do too much when we are well, and this can make us vulnerable to symptoms appearing. The body has to put the brakes on us by making us poorly.

It can take a lot of doing, but try being ultra kind to yourself…. don’t feel guilty about being poorly … tell yourself you are
gonna focus on being well …. and remind yourself that the view of your colleagues is unimportant because they don’t know the half of it and never will. You are stronger than that!

X


stumbler
2 months ago

@tyranasaurusbex , you don’t look like a dinosaur!

Anyway, your chest infection has probably caused you a “pseudo-exacerbation”. This is a temporary worsening of your MS symptoms, whilst your body is fighting an infection. Things will calm down again, once the underlying infection is resolved.

As for your work colleagues, they are somewhat confused as you probably look so well, so how can you be ill. It is difficult as MS is an “invisible” condition. Just don’t allow yourself to be beaten by their ignorance. They’ll get bored of gossiping about you very quickly.

So, hang in there. And, don’t allow them to stress you out.


brando
2 months ago

People are horrible when they dont have things they can see in front of them, people will be more patient for the small child because it’s obviously a kid and has no skills, or someone with say down syndrome/cerabal palsy because it’s quite an obvious medical condition.

unfortunately when you are a person with MS and you are in the age range of 20-40 it’s very easy for discrimination to appear. mostly because you dont have any easily noticeable issues people just cant relate. no one realises until they experience it for themselves.

I had to kick up a huge storm of issues in my workplace over me having one organized weekday off a month just so I could have my Tysabri treatment. took them 9 months to sort this out properly and I had to reschedule my treatments quite often.

Try explaining it to them and if they cant then weigh up your options and maybe it is time to move on and change jobs.

Brando


strictlysoca
2 months ago

It is difficult when work colleagues can’t understand however if the work place is an environment is one that allows people to work 60+ hours a week then may be in a controlled planned way you might consider looking for another place. Your job sounds like an unbalanced situation to be in for anyone. Try not to make a decision when you are ill – this too will pass.

And as for the colleagues in the words of the guru Rupaul “Unless they pay your bills pay those bitches no mind”

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