Last reply 5 months ago
Just because…

I’ve just been through a rough 6 months, in fact one of the worst periods of my life. The strange thing was I was feeling good MS wise, things were stable and I was enjoying life. It started at work, where they decided to medically redeploy me to another role. I was gutted, I loved my job and worked hard to get there. I loved all the people in my team and I really got to help people and I was amazing at my job (well this is my story lol). Then my husband had what can only be described as some sort or meltdown and completely out of the blue at a friends party told me he was leaving me, that he couldn’t do it anymore, he couldn’t deal with the MS any more, he couldn’t make me better and that he had to go. I was in complete shock And heartbroken.

Then I’ve had family issues, My Mum never calls anymore, if I try and talk to her about my MS she just doesn’t want to hear it, I guess she can’t handle it either. My Dad has passed away and this distance with my Mum makes me miss him more.

Over Christmas my husband ended up very ill himself, we never really knew at first how serious his condition was. But thankfully he has been lucky and has made a fully recovery.

Everything around me was falling apart! I was physically and emotionally exhausted. It did begin to affect my health and I experienced a lot of residual symptoms, it made me angry as these were all situations that I had no control over, but here they were controlling me.

I don’t know how but little my little I have worked through these issues for myself in that I’m handling it. My husband and I are still together which is great as I know from here the pressure and strain MS puts on any relationship. I’m starting to realise that I can’t control some situations and I guess you just need to accept somethings and make the best you can of things. Things are different for me now, time will tell if it’s a good different or not.

I guess I just wanted to share this as I’m feeling much more like me again and I know there will be others out there having a rough time, so I just wanted to say hang in there as things can get better. I’m approaching my 3 year ms anniversary and although I still get scared, I know there is help out there!

Hugs to you all 🤗

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vixen
5 months ago

Hello @rainbow, well that was a rollercoaster experience! Jo wonder you are feeling good, having held yourself together through all that bunch of stuff. Being diagnosed has obviously developed your resilience. Well done you, stay happy and strong x


stumbler
5 months ago

@rainbow , it sure doesn’t rain until it pours!

I’m glad you’ve managed to get through to the other side of that horrendous list of situations. As we know, stress is our enemy, but you seemed powerless at that emotional tsunami.

I’m glad that you’ve stayed strong and got through this.


staying-connected
5 months ago

@rainbow – wow that was a very powerful post. I was glued to your words and felt like giving you a big hug!!! I still do – sending you a big hug xx I am currently working with a psychologist on ‘emotional deprivation’ issues that came apparent as I worked hard to prop everyone else up emotionally with my MS diagnosis – but years down the track realize I haven’t dealt with my own emotions. I think we can all do with someone who will really listen to our inner most fears and can hold that space for us to heal. For me if I have to pay for a psychologist – that’s ok (as I’ll found and exceptionally good one). Take care of yourself and know that you matter xx


rainbow
5 months ago

Hey guys! Thanks for your kind words of support, it was good if you all to take the time to reply, giving someone your time is the kindest gift of all.

It has been rough and my confidence just kept getting knocked. But hey ive got throught it all and yeah these things help to shape who we are and often grow stronger. So i guess I shared as I feel quite often we hear on here when people are having a rough time, so I thought it would posdible help people to hear the other side of things, when things get better. I just hope it has helped someone.

@staying-connected yes I have now seen your post and I get where you are coming from. I get lonley quite often and I always thought i needed someone who I could talk to and share my MS life with. But over the last few months and getting myself through this crap ive realised I don’t need that anymore. But it would be nice but I don’t feel I need it, if that makes sense? Thanks for the hug!!!!

Hope you all have a lovely day! Thanks again xxxxx


cameron
5 months ago

As they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. You’re so right – your story needs to be heard by others. And do you agree that having been in a bad place, the good experiences now are especially sweet? xx


rainbow
5 months ago

Yes @cameron we do go through things good and bad and yeah we learn and grow from such experiences. It’s these experiences that shape us and we do grow stronger. I most certainly do appreciate more now and I guess you notice the little things more. I appreciate everyone on this site for always giving me support and offering me advice. I think it’s lovely that a group of strangers who would otherwise not have met or probably even have much in common, can come together and support each other, even when people on here have there own stuff going on they always make time to reply. To me that’s really special, MS is lonley but ShiftMS really helps to bring us MS warriors together!

Hugs to everyone!


sarahboo
5 months ago

Hi Rainbow Good for you to find the strength to work through all that stress and change/ uncertainty. I’m suffering after 32 years of it….am trying to find the strength to fight on, but I can’t find it!!!
Anyone know where I left it?
Sarahboo


stumbler
5 months ago

@sarahboo , it’s far too easy for us to lose our mojo.

The thing to do is not lose it for too long. 😉


grandma
5 months ago

Hi rainbow, I know exactly how you feel except my other half of 43 years carried through with his problems about dealing with me and my 2 diseases (I have breast cancer as well) and I am now alone, have been dealing with it for just over a year now and to be quite honest I think I’m better off than I was before, skint, but happier except Mr government recently took my disability car away and it will take all summer before I get my tribunal, but I have discovered “get mad not sad” and I’m fighting back in every possible way. I am approaching my silver wedding with the beast so you’re really a mere beginner, but good luck for the future, after all they keep telling us things can only get better! Jill


rainbow
5 months ago

Hey!

@sarahboo well I impressed that you have found the strength to deal with this for 32 years. You are strong lady and quite inspiring!

@grandma sounds like you’ve been through a lot but have come out the other side now too. I can’t believe your fighting this and Cancer! Your doing amazing and I love your saying! God I’m a beginner, that’s keep bad scary as I feel like this has hit me hard but there is probably a lot worse to come! I’m gonna have to get strong like you ladies!


sarahboo
5 months ago

Rainbow
I feel a whole lot of admiration for you.
Your husband ooooohhh gave me a shudder not a sexy one!!! A cold one 😕
It’s a shame that we cant walk away from our problems.
Anyway after a lovely chat with @stumbler, Tom Petty ‘Learning to Fly’ popped up and I’m gonna try and learn metaphorically I want to rise above it all.
That’s all !!!!
Will let you know how it goes, am hopeful……….

It’s a triumph of hope over experience

Sboo x


rainbow
5 months ago

Hey @sarahboo

Thanks for your kind comments. I’m glad stumbler has helped. Yes do let me know how you are.

xxx


potter
5 months ago

I went through a bad spell like that, it lasted three years. My mother was diagnosed with ALS so I started helping her when I could. Then my father in-law, father and niece was diagnosed with cancer. I was attending college, ran a decorating business and had a son in high school. I was driving all over town shopping for them and taking relatives to doctors appointments starting at 6 in the morning and stopped 9.00 at night. I still went to school and go to customers houses, everything was tightly scheduled. The third year everyone started dying, I was suddenly in the funeral and estate planning business. During the same time period I had a aunt die of MS and a uncle die of ALS several thousand miles away. After it was all over I was physically and mentally exhausted. I manage to graduate but I closed my business, I was too overwhelmed to continue. I was 45 at the time, my husband and I decided it was time for me to retire. Take it easy, work in my pottery studio and enjoy life. That is what I have been doing for the last 20 years.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Potter


rainbow
5 months ago

Hello @potter

Your an angel taking care of everyone and putting others needs first. I have no idea how you managed all that and MS!

So, I do sometimes think about stopping Work – does it really help? I enjoy company so worry about being more lonely without work. Plus if my husband did leave I would need to be able to take care of myself.


potter
5 months ago

I think not working made a world of difference for me. You may not be able to do that until your marriage is stable. There has been other MSer’s on the forum who have quit working and thought it made a big difference. Potter


rainbow
5 months ago

Thanks @potter, I will see how things go before I make a decision. I guess the idea of not working is strange for me, i was always brought up knowing the importance of hard work. But I know Health comes first.

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