hollylb10 17/05/15
Last reply 3 years ago
I need a rant!

Hi everyone, I am sorry but I need a rant! I have only just started the process of my diagnosis and every time I mention my MS I am moaned at for using it as an excuse or playing up on it. I am working part time, I also have my own business at home, I am also a full time mum and do all the housework, cleaning and cooking! I am not complaining as I want my life to remain as normal as possible but sometimes it gets a bit too much and I could do with some help at home! My partner does not seem to understand this and I feel like I am always having to defend myself and bring up my MS. It is causing arguments over things like a messy house or washing up! I try and talk to him about but I think he sees it as an excuse.

Does anyone else have the same problem or had to deal with this?

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stumbler
3 years ago

@hollylb10 , you did the right thing, coming on here to “vent your spleen”. MS may be your condition, but it does affect everyone in your family unit.

It’s always best to share your frustrations here, rather than cause an atmosphere at home.

Here’s a post from way back, which might be useful as a discussion document:-

https://shift.ms/topic/describing-your-ms-symptoms/

The problem we have is that we just don’t look ill! 😕


hollylb10
3 years ago

Thanks, I am not looking for sympathy from my partner I just need some empathy sometimes! He comes home from work and relaxes, which I understand because he has a manual job and I wouldn’t want him to go to work exhausted. But sometimes I feel like an extra pair of hands washing up or bathing the kids wouldn’t go a miss :/


hollylb10
3 years ago

I should have added without having to ask or moan about!


stumbler
3 years ago

@hollylb10 , I think we can all appreciate where you are coming from. 😉


northernlass
3 years ago

Hi @hollylb10 I can understand where you are coming from as I am a single parent of two teens.. (Both great kids) but there are things that seem to been taken for granted as MY job.. empty bins, bins out, clean toilets, do the laundry, take care of the cats things 😛 among just a few of MY chores but recently I have been poorly and they have had to chip in more than they do already.. I get a bit of grumbling about it but as long as it gets done I’m happy. I did make a suggestion to another MSer on here many months ago who also felt like you, being left to do the chores and that was to stick post it notes around the house with maybe “Husbands job take out bins” or “Kids job dirty clothes off floor into laundry basket” and even “Mums job Make dinner for family” etc written on them and see if anyone picks up on the “HINTS” that running of your house is not down to you alone… If the kids are too young maybe make a simple chart with pictures “brushing teeth” “putting Pj’s on ” and a star or tick chart.. ( I know these sort of charts work for kids as my son is Autistic and had laminated pictures of what he needed to do to get ready in the morning or bed for example and when he had done that particular job he would remove the picture which had Velcro on the back and put it on another laminated card to say he had done it.. so it was fun and interactive) and it saved me having to constantly keep saying it I could just say “have you checked your chart..? ” Hubby too old for a chart maybe but fluttery post-its all over the place might spur him into a bit of action… 🙂 Good luck


graham100
3 years ago

Find your nearest Ms therapy group, take your husband with you so he can see what MS really can be. Hope it doesn’t scare you to much though if you see people that have a progressive Ms. You could stay as you are for many years, but it might make hubby realise you haven’t got a cold.

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