concerned_wife 20/02/18
Last reply 3 weeks ago
Husband has MS

Hi, I’ve just joined this forum (I guess that’s what you call it) and would like to be in touch w/the partners of “MSers” (another new word for me.) My husband was diagnosed w/MS back in 1997 and after the initial affects of it hasn’t had a ton of problems like so many do. Well….he has a horrible lower spine from being a tile contractor for 30 yrs. and contributes all his physical problems to it instead of the MS. Even now his drs. are trying to figure out, once again, what is causing what and what can be done about his lower back. But as we have aged, both 62 now, I am watching him waste away physically, and perhaps cognitively?, and have questions about this. He is stubborn about going to dr’s and following their advice and he’s never agreed to be on any treatment. So I do not have access to his neurologist w/my questions. I would just like to have others to discuss things with. Thanks, Concerned Wife

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1 month ago


I am not a partner with MS yet I might be one to chat with; or my wife if you have Facebook…

I am 62 years old. Had spine surgery two years ago followed by an MS diagnosis last January. I am as stubborn as all [email protected]*^ and ignore Doctor recommendations. (i.e. I still drink & smoke)… Just got accepted for Government disability so have income for four more years; then government pension kicks in…

Having said that, my wife is always welcome to attend my appointments because she does not nag; she is just there to listen so she remains aware of what is going on. She is 100% in charge of my dietary requirements & ensuring I take my daily drugs / medicine. Jos in an absolute sweetheart & I am lucky to have her by my side!

My philosophy is life is a journey & we all have the same destination; enjoy the ride.


1 month ago

Hi @concerned_wife and welcome.

Shift.MS has recently started to focus on the role and problems of partners. The following link will take you to some related information.

Us blokes do seem to be somewhat obstinate. I wonder whether our (the male) intransigence is behind the fact there are more females with MS than males? It wouldn’t surprise me. πŸ˜‰

There are a few partners on the Forum here. But, we can all answer questions about MS for you.

4 weeks ago

Thank you, Edmontonalbert and Stumbler for your responses. Stumbler, I will check out that web address. Thank you. Edmontonalbert, I’m wondering what your back surgery was about. Did it address any problems associated with the MS? The trouble we are having w/my husband’s condition is finding out if it is MS or his back causing his problems and which is doing what. Can you share w/me what your back problems were causing and what the surgery relieved afterwards? Will also add that I have no control over anything my husband eats, meds he will take/refuses to take, etc…I used to go to his dr. appts. w/him—when he would actually go—because he would not tell them the truth about things….he does not understand what they tell him, and he’s busy trying to divert the attention on to things other than himself. Then he will not follow their advice. He’s his own worst enemy…but like you sort of say….it’s his journey and I have learned he’s going to travel it the way he wants. But I will go for his test results next month. No, I am not on Facebook. Still use a little flip-phone. Being on this forum is even scary for me. ha. One other thing I am curious/worried about is this: I know the treatments for MS used to cause weight gain. My husband is not on any treatment but his last year he has lost at least 30 lbs and is wasting away. Have you or anyone reading this experienced this? Could that be related to MS? Thanks so much you guys. πŸ™‚

4 weeks ago

In our city (Stoke-on-Trent) the local MS society has a group for partners/carers of people with MS. Social activities or just a once a week visit to the pub for a pint and a moan called The Musketeers. Worth checking if your local MSsociety has anything similar? Hope this helps. Jill xx

3 weeks ago


You don’t show where you live; if Western Canada would love to get together to chat in person since that is much better than typing… πŸ˜‰

You covered a lot so hopefully I do not miss anything. I played Slo-Pitch with friends then had a few drinks afterward. Went home, slept; woke up & my right arm was dead – completely dead as if someone turned everything off from the shoulder down. No pain just completely useless.

The professionals tried to tell me I pinched a nerve – I told them there was something wrong in my spine just below my skull. After a few months going back & forth they sent me for an MRI – spine surgery ensued. Initial surgery screwed up leaving me a quadriplegic; they woke the Surgeon up to come back to the hospital to fix it…

When recuperation after surgery was not occurring after expected I was sent for a brain MRI. This diagnosed my PPMS. Having said that, I trust my wife 100%. She is in complete control of my medications & food; I know this is a major part of helping control the MS so I have no ego as far as this is involved.

Regarding the weight thing, I have never had any problem since I have always weighed just below the proper weight for my height & it was all muscle. The challenge is that since I was not on MS treatment, I actually lost more weight. But recently my wife has been cooking non-stop & taking me out to dinner. I am close to the proper weight again – but now I have a minor pot belly.

Hope this information helps.

3 weeks ago


My wife has ns so I can speak as a partner of someone with ms. In terms of treatments I think most doctors will be reluctant to prescribe a drug at this age. Ms tends to slow down and become progressive instead of relapsing over time. Most drugs don’t work that will with those types of ms either.

Also it’s important not to assume that whatever you are seeing is the ms. There could be other factors going on as well.

The one universal thing that helps across the board with most problems is exercise. Consider walks or any form of exercise you are able to do. If it’s something you can do together it might be easier to talk about things as a conversation in passing rather then the point of focus.

3 weeks ago

Thanks to all of you who have responded to my posts with various info’ for me to search out….Thank you, Edmondtonalbert, for sharing your story with me. You are very kind. I’m going to continue reading posts as I am seeing there is so much good info’ in them from others’ experiences w/MS. My husband will have an MRI of his lower lumbar area next week, as well as a CT scan of his abdomen. This week he had an EMG for sensitivity. I will go w/him next month to hear the results of these tests and hear what the neurological surgeon has to say about it all. Hopefully, this time, there will be a solution that may help w/his severe back pain. If he could get that relieved some (via surgery because he will not take opioids nor get cortisone injections) then perhaps we could better know what the MS may be doing. In the meantime, thanks again for your posts. They sure help. πŸ™‚

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