4 years ago
Hugs please

Not sure this will post well as on my tablet cause can’t be bothered to go to PC.
I am feeling so fedup with everything at the moment, my husband is working such long hours he is really tired so is a bit short with me………which can’t blame him for as I am even fedup with myself.
I keep getting things wrong, forgetting things, loosing things & more along those lines.
My eldest daughter had been complaining that she did not see schoolwork clear & is seeing spots so I took her to optician & no problem there. Today she came home from school & told me she was seeing spots when doing her work again so now I am worrying that I will need to book her a Dr appointment with the worry of MS :(.

Sorry to stress out here, I have no friends or family around to pour my heart out to so all I am doing at the moment is hugging my cat.

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Hi norfolkgal,
The thought of either of my kids having ms fills me with absolute fear so I sympathise with how you’re feeling. I’m sure there are lots of very simple reasons why your daughter is seeing spots – nothing to do with ms – and hopefully it will turn out to be nothing major. Hope you feel better soon, sending you lots of hugs xo

Hi Norfolkgal,

I can imagine how stressed you must be feeling. Not having anyone around to talk to must be difficult too. Glad you at least had an outlet here to share how you are felling. Big hug!

Hi Norfolkgal!

Hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs xxxxxxx ……. Can totally understand how you feel and also share the worry about your daughter… I can’t stop worrying about my two… I’m sure your GP will take everything in to account and check things thoroughly and make sure all’s ok!

Take it as easy as you can and I’m sure no one here minds you stressing here… Better to let stress out somehow than let it build up πŸ™‚ xxx

Thanks girls. Am thinking of moving now then seeing if I can read a bit in bed to get off to sleep xx

Our kids are quite perceptive, so if things are a bit strained indoors, the kids will feel it too. So, your kids will suffer from your stresses/pressures. You need to bring the smiles back into the home.
Life is becoming more difficult, without throwing MS into the equation, so it’s understandable that you’re both feeling the way you do.
Yes, it does make you look at yourself and you hate the MS just a little bit more than usual.
But, try and go easy on yourself. We can all feel very sorry for ourselves from time to time, but that was today. Go to bed and start tomorrow as a fresh day.
And, see if you can arrange a night for you and your hubby to have some quality time, where you can empathise with each other for the pressures of work and the inconveniences of MS.
Can you get out for a meal, to make it special?


Thanks again everyone. I asked my daughter (she talks to me well and confides in me if she is not sure on anything) if she feels she would see a Dr at the moment but as her optician found a very slight difference in her prescription she is getting new glasses on Friday so she wants to see how she gets on with new glasses so I am leaving that for now and will speak to her again next week unless she approaches me before.

I know what you mean about kids are perceptive @stumbler my eldest does not miss a thing but I feel quite confident we do not have any atmosphere here that would worry them, my 9yr old daughter is very happy and my eldest is confident to ask me any questions and tells me everything. The moans between myself and hubby as usual really as he calls everyone names and remarks on lots of things (even is they ask about homework he nicely tells them to think in it rather than being a nuggat) so its just his way. Its just some things get to me – another automatic reply for him if I struggle with something (he tells our girls the same) “its not rocket science”
He does his best for me though, last year many times be had to pull me upstairs as I could not get upstairs so when he asked how he can help I said to be infront and pull. Sunday evening he dies my hair for me as I got the dye and could not do it alone, he always washes up and much more – even more if I ask.

Today was not a good start as I did not know if he fed the cat so text him to ask so the cat was not fed twice. I could not remember the cats empty bowl yesterday AM so he replied with a no so I fed the cat. He telephoned a bit later to apologise if his text was short but he was busy when he got my message. When I tried to say how I could not remember yesterday AM and how the cat pesters he said the cat does not pester him in AM too bad as he only gets a coffee and sits in the lounge and the cat only pesters when in the kitchen. It went back and forth so I was trying to say what I meant and he said “what I am trying to say is” so I got the gist that I was not understanding

An hour later I text him to day sorry for being super dopey this week and how one thing I will always understand is never forget is how I love him to which he replied telling me not to apologise, he understands…………..so good for him, as I don’t.

I will see if our girls want to see my parents this weekend so we can have some quiet time together.

Hope tomorrow starts better and I will not forget everything.

Hi Norfolkgal…

I reckon it would do you and hubby some good to have some quality time together over the weekend, then you can really talk and communicate and I’m sure you’ll be fine once you both have each others understanding of each other etc!

(& make sure your cat is well fed so no distractions πŸ˜‰ ….

Also it sounds like your daughters eye issues could well be sorted out with new glasses so that sounds good πŸ™‚


Hmm today is not much has better :(. Work has been non stop as I am taking emails for 2 jobs we have & today I’ve had 258 emails on top of my usual. I realised I forgot to do my Avonex injection last night like I am forgetting or confusing everything else. Not too worried as have missed it before then carry on next week as usual & I get on ok so must remember next week.

Hoping once again tomorrow will be better.

omg @norfolkgal, readying your posts i really sympathise with you, i can talk but you really need to look after number 1, the emails can wait. Talk and take time out with Hubby as the others have said, i wouldnt know what to do if hubby wasnt here, i’d be so lost. You have a loving family so take the time to step back and re-evaluate the important things in life, like family and TALK TALK TALK, they wont know how you really feel if they dont know. They can’t take the pain of MS away but can be a life line to you in support…(sorry just read what i’ve written, and……blimey, i should listen to my own advice, its quite good :))
look after yourself adn you know where we all are if you need us. it might be on the end of posts but we are real (well, some are) and we have ‘this’ in common xx

Hi Norfolkgal…

I hope you are having a better day today so far!? …. I totally agree with kerrylouise – the emails can wait – you do need to be very kind to yourself and look after yourself before anything else!

You may be forgetting the Avonex because it sounds like you have too much on your plate… Put yourself first and hopefully this weekend you can spend some quality time with hubby to have a really good talk about everything on your mind which I’m sure will make you feel better! πŸ™‚

Best wishes xxx

Thanks @kerrylouise for you nice reply and @cazzzzzy for your nuce reply and thinning of me today.

Today I am still not comfortable and have forgotten things but its a little better and can;t wait to get tomorrow over with so its weekend πŸ™‚

Emails have calmed a bit today but I can think of other things in between – can’t stop as its my job and I don’t want them thinking of my MS affecting my job. They did ask about redusing my hrs 10 per week as the government has reduces the amount they pay the company but I said how I would love to reduce hrs work but did not want to reduce £££ so they have looked where else I can fit into the company and I am not only going to be 2.5hrs short a week from the end of the month.

I have already thought what I can do for them 2.5hrs and am being super brave!
I was bullied bad in school so my mum pulled me out as I was ill with worry consequently I have no qualifications. I have been super luck with the job I have now as I started as a volunteer and now do very indepth admin and lots more and I am well above the minimum Β£ for my salary but I want to better myself sooooooooooo the local council do adult learning and I heard there is maths and English to full on recognised qualification so I have signed up fro that today. Starting next month for 11 weeks and then I will have a bit of paper to say I can do what I already do for work!
I am very shy, do not like being in groups and walking somewhere and people looking or initiating a chat with someone so this is a major step…………….and I hope I will have lots my dumbo brain by then and not forget/mis understand things.

That sounds a great way forward, @norfolkgal .
My wife left school with diddly-squat too. She decided to better herself and since that time, she has obtained an English GCSE, a University entrance qualification and she has now graduated as a qualified nurse.
And, she started this when she was well in her 40s.
She doesn’t quite appreciate how proud I am of her.
There’s nothing to stop you……..
Good luck.

Good luck with it @norfolkgal. Glad you are feeling a bit better today. And good luck with starting your training! I used to work for an adult careers guidance organisation and honestly there are so many people who feel really nervous about starting courses and think they’re the only one feeling like that. Sounds like you already do your job really well and you are obviously well thought of in work or they wouldn’t be trying to accommodate you – the courses will just be proof of your skills. Hope you have a good weekend Stef xo

Thanks Stefski, Stumbler.

Your wife done amazing then @stumbler, well done to her..I certainly want to do more and prove on paper that I can do what I do already.

That is interesting that you worked in adult careers @stefski – any tips let me know :):) I know nearly everyone will be nervous too but with my nerves, being so shy and finding it hard to socialise (never have) I am arrrghhh πŸ™‚

You all make me smile and I really appreciate all your virual hugs and support.

I may haev MS and most of 2012 was rotten so 2013 I am going to to do better. So far last month I went with husband and our girls to Disneyland Paris which was a major 1st as never left the UK before.
Now I am going to to this maths course and if I get on OK I will look into the English course after and then can see what else they have on offer (although Maths and English are free and the rest are ££)

Best of luck with your ambitions, @norfolkgal . Just remember, from small acorns mighty oak trees grow.

Hi @norfolkgal. Just wanted to say that I used to teach a number of adult learners (who enrolled for GCSE and A Levels) alongside teenage pupils. Without exception, they were amazing. Like you, many of them arrived with zero confidence but I don’t think I ever had a failure. The difference was that they brought their life experience to the class and even though many of them were a bit slower to pick some things up, they were invariably harder working than the teenagers. They knew how to manage time (most were housewives juggling all sorts of deadlines)and they were far more resilient – didn’t give up at the first hurdle. Work was always well presented (and showed up the often scruffy efforts of the pupils) and it was well thought out. They CARED! So all the best – go for it. xx

Good luck with your plans norfolkgal, I’m sure you won’t regret it! Xo

Thanks @cameron – that is scary to think there could be many teenage pupils and I will feel so old πŸ™‚

I did warn them I have MS and I can be a little slow on things but she just told me nearly everyone is πŸ™‚

I will try not to make it scruffy but my writing is terrible – I have and still do work on a PC so no need to write really and sometimes gripping a pen is not easy.

Yes, but as I say, you will bring things to the class that come from being an adult and having had to manage a lot of tricksy life situations. You will know a lot more about general topics and ways of the world – these young ones are pretty green (obviously). In any case, you may be in a class with just other adults: whatever the age/experience mix I predict that you’ll surprise yourself!

You can’t fault the education obtained from the University of Life & Hard Knocks!

Hi Norfolkgal!

Sounds absolutely great what you’re doing!!! Good for you!!! … Takes a lot of courage to do these things and you will gain real strength from it & the more you do you’ll gain more and more confidence from and before you know it you will be at uni I bet πŸ˜‰ …

Taking that initial step is usually the hardest part but you’ve done that so well done & remember that the anticipation nerves are worse than actually being there so it will get easier and easier!

I also think MS makes you more hyper sensitive to things so if you’re nervous it may feel exaggerated but just remember that it is normal to feel nervous in you situation and it will get easier the more and more you do! … Great to hear you sounding more positive! πŸ˜€

Nice bike by the way πŸ˜‰ xxx

hi Norfolkgal,
I just wanted to say I admire you for taking on the course. It takes strength and courage even to go as far as you have with this. I’m sure all of us here are behind you.

Encouage you to get out and do those courses, norfolkgal. Not only will it improve your employability, it will get you OUT the house and mixing with other folks.
Then you will have SPACE from home/hubby/kids. All very good, no matter how much we love em!
Memory problems: Lists, lot of lists! Sticky notes on fridge & well everywhere. Remind yourself of jobs done or to do!
And get a rest in the day. Fatigue is real and can affect concentration, memory & co-ordination. Reduce your hours rather than struggle and make yrself worse.

Just wanted to share bit of my story to encourage, norfolkgal.
In mid-90’s I was a mum, left school with O levels, not much of a career (the years of Maggie’s 3,000,000 unemployed)….
Feeling rather braindead at 30, tried an Access course at local college. That led to going to Uni as a mature student. (2 kids under 10 at the time.) And it had to be fulltime to get a grant.
Yep this was BEFORE student loans!
The 1st year I was quite ill & in the 2nd year I was dx’ed.
Bit of a bombshell, but I’m a stuborn bugger, so pushed on & DID IT.
So you CAN accomplish stuff, even with MS and even with a family. Go for it girl!

Once again thanks for all your comments.
Well don’t @reddivine you show the push on attitude I will be having. I have downloaded a couple of maths apps & am getting on with them ok. On one that gives 10 questions such as x – 6 = 4then some x and some / and I am coveting all 10 in 60/70 seconds so proving to myself I can.

I asked this week what they expect me to take & they said pen, calculator……& a folder maybe handy so think I have all I need.

I just have to post again. Had bad couple of week with school holidays & work so feeling bad balance again, forgetting things even more & feeling like complete dumbo again BUT also very nervous as I start the maths course tomorrow. Been doing maths apps so sure I can get on ok but walking into place don’t know with people I don’t know.

Hi norfolkgal,
Sorry you haven’t been feeling too good. Really good news that you’re starting your maths class tomorrow – I feel the same starting something new and I’m sure the majority of the class (if not all!!) feel exactly the same as you do. You’re doing something really positive, I don’t think you’ll regret it! Good luck! Xo

School holidays are notorious for upping the pressure on Mums.
Things are back to normal tomorrow, so hopefully, you’ll start to recoup a bit.
Good luck for tomorrow.

Thanks @stefski, @ Stumbler. Today was hard to begin as my eldest is off school with teacher training but I got up at 6am (was playing on mind I must get on) then worked for an hr, showered then woke my girls and made sure youngest ready for school then worked again will 11am. Dropped eldest off with friend right near the course venue and she gave me lunch then I went – phew super nervous. We all say round a table but there was only 6 of us, 2 were a couple by the tutor explained what will happen etc then gave us an assessment paper to see what we can do and I got on well and finished the last Q aqs he said time to stop πŸ™‚
My score was a top one in the class and then we went for 15min break so I went to car and called hubby to say how I was getting on.
Last hr was paperwork they need as its council paid for and a chart for us to score how we think we are at ICT, confidence etc and then we can score ourselves again at the end.
Finished 30min early so home in time for end school.

Its twice a week but I said I can only do Mon as work but I have told them I will do Wed again this week so sorted for full assessment, trial test at possible level etc.

Well done. That must give you a sense of achievement, now that you’ve started…..

That’s great news, really glad it went so well – well done!!

Glad it went well for you. That’s the first day done, you can go next time with that bit more confidence.

Well done norfolkgal! … So happy for you and now first meeting nerves are over you can relax more and enjoy ~ sounds like you’re doing well! πŸ™‚

Well done & hugs xxx

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