Last reply 11 months ago
How do I do this

I don’t know how to not push my self to the ultimate limit and wear myself out constantly. My MS team always tell me to listen to my body but I keep pushing because it’s what I’ve always done. I think I just need a balance of not feeling like I’m stopping and to not over do it. Keeping in mind that I have 15h of class I can’t cut back on and about 20h of homework.

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petlamb
11 months ago

Hi @dominiqueg 🙂

I read this post then I looked back at your other recent posts – detailing loneliness, anger, depression.

It all kind of strikes a chord with me and I can relate totally to how you’re feeling. 100%. It’s a familiar road and I guess that a lot of other members on this forum will feel exactly the same way too.

I’ve had MS for 18+ years and it took me an awfully long time to come to terms with it and accept it. When I was diagnosed there was nothing like this site – something to help you vent, rant, share your thoughts, queries and concerns with other people in a similar situation. I really wish this site was about back then.

As you know, stress, angst, worry and overdoing it are NOT GOOD for your MS. When MS professionals (nurses, neuro, etc) tell you that you think “oh no, I think I’m having another relapse because I’ve been stressing – I either caused this OR made matters worse because it was going to happen anyway and I haven’t helped things because I haven’t been listening to my body”. 🙁 It’s not just about the current relapse though – it’s about the gradual build up of disability over time. I SO wish I would have fretted less, had less rages, thrown fewer things in sheer anger and frustration, had less depression – the list goes on and on. I let it get to me. BIG MISTAKE.

I know you have school but my advice to you has got to be for you to be kind to yourself and don’t fret or worry because it’s not going to help one iota. I know that’s easy for me to say, but unfortunately you have no choice – it’s a vicious circle and you cannot fight it successfully as it will always win. I know – it sucks big time but you must do what you can do without pushing yourself. You’re very young to be dealing with this and my heart goes out to you Dominique. Remember, you’re not alone in this. We are here to help, so rant, cuss, let your frustrations out here and feel better for it afterwards, It’s no good having all that pent up anger. Let it out.

I hope you understand the point I’m trying to get across as I’m not sure if I’ve explained it as well as I could.

Good luck trying to make this work for you and you can PM me anytime you want. 🙂

(((hugsssss)))

Suze xx


noelie
11 months ago

@dominiqueg i so know what you mean. It takes a while to adjust. You’re damned if you do things (fatigue, overdoing, etc), and you’re damned if you don’t (stress of no being able to do what you expect of yourself). I get the dilemma all the time, there are not enough hours in the day, advice are contradictory (rest but make sure you exercise).

In my case I had just returned to work after maternity leave, so was looking after a 1 year old (cue: no sleep) and working and told to rest, what? are you joking?. I only had a CIS diagnosis then. Now, 2 years later, I realised that it is up to me to prioritise and say “stop”. I told my GP i just couldn’t cope anymore, that I had no time to look after myself, my walking was deteriorating, exhaustion had become too much to handle, so i’ve just been signed off work for a bit to give myself time to adjust. I should have done that 1.5 years ago when the MS was confirmed, but no, I just pushed through like an idiot until I broke down.

What i’m trying to say, sometimes, you can’t do it all without it impacting your health. You have MS, you can’t ignore it, or pretend it’s not there (i tried, doesn’t work). It’s a big thing to absorb. It takes your energy physically and mentally. Doing things differently from what you’re used to is exhausting, changing your ways, creating new habits on top of everything it takes it out of you.

Can you take some time off? think careful about it, you need to plan long term here. Your health has to come first.

Meditation helps, don’t knock it before you try it, i was a big sceptic, but i would have been unable to slow down without it. Have a look at the app Headspace.

Look after yourself x


Anonymous
11 months ago

@noelie
I’ve been doing meditation for years now and it’s great. Headspace is a good app. I think what’s hard for me is that everything changed in one day I didn’t have MS one day and then next I had MS. So I might still be in denial over this whole thing I just wish I would of had more time to adjust Rome wasn’t build in a day right. I just got my leg strong enough to be able to workout again at a very slow pace but still better then nothing.

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